You've just learned a hit man is coming to get you. Now what?

[Dave Haven]

Maybe you can offer him double what she's paying to turn the tables on her.

My cousin's husband did something similar.. This was before he and my cousin were dating. His ex wife put a contract on him a couple of times. He paid the hit men to cancel the contracts and go away.
His ex wife even personally tried to kill him once. (She tried to give him AIDS, but he didn't oblige.)

[ethernectar]

Have to agree with some of the guys here. If you find out about it, that's not a real good hitman. Figure that if he's good, he already knows your daily routine, and has already picked out a nice place where he can drop you from a safe distance... its just a matter of time...

m

[3 weelin geezer]

Foil hats anyone? This is funny. Why would anyone want you dead? Most wives just hire some gangbanger or an undercover cop and spill the confession on candid camera. I would say tell the police if you know she is looking for a hit man. They deliver. Its especially funny when they cover you with ketchup take a picture of you dead and she believes its really blood. Then you walk in to the police station as she is giving her 'story' on how they killed you and they have her paying some cop 'killer' on tape. Just take your polaroid. The look on her face is priceless.

[BillCA]

IF this were a serious question there are a number of things you can do to prolong your lifespan.

Like other have said, inform the PD (they'll take a report, tell you to beware of strangers and offer sympathy but probably not be much help) and/or the FBI if she lives in another state. IF you have the threat on tape or recording, pay a lawyer $250 to obtain a restraining order against the ex because in some states (like CA for instance) an R.O. becomes your defacto CCW permit (look it up, a number of restrictions apply).

Next, contact Hertz/Avis/Budget/Enterprise and rent a car from them. Ideally something different than what you drive, in a subdued color. It should also have some get up & scoot, just in case. Rent the car for 2 days and then rent a different one (or different agency if you like). Changing cars prevents him ID'ing you by vehicle. Park the rental in a helpful neighbor's driveway overnight. I'll leave you to figure out how to get to it with a minimum of visibility.

Get a cell phone and pepper spray. You can call for help if you discover you ARE being followed. The other can be used defensively without resorting to lethal force if someone keeps approaching you after verbally warning them off.

Change your mode of dress. If you're a suit & tie guy, start wearing dockers and open collar shirts (tell your boss your house was burgled or something). If you're Mr. Blue Jeans, dress up a little. If you always carried your favorite black or brown briefcase, switch to a laptop black nylon case. You get the idea. Distort as many "identifiers" as you can.

If you can afford it, move to a hotel or a "Renaissance Inn". Switch hotels on days you're returning your rental car. If you can't afford it, stay a night or two with a friend, especially those who are alert types.

Speaking of work - NEVER TELL YOUR BOSS of your situation unless you want to be let go ("presenting a danger to other workers"). Instead, claim a need for a 2-week "vacation" due to "serious family matters" and refuse to discuss the details. This will let you concentrate on saving your own hide.

Become predictibly un-predictable. Vary the hours you work, travel, eat, sleep and the places you stay each night or every few nights. Vary your routes to & from anywhere. Don't use the same entrance at work all the time, nor the same driveway. Don't frequent the same restaurants, dry cleaners, etc. If you have to use a dry cleaners, pay someone to pick up your laundry or take it in for you. If you have a maid service at home, stop it. Likewise the pool service, gardners, etc.

If you discover you're being followed, don't panic. Cell phone the PD and drive in a large circular area with a major intersection in mind. Let the cops shake his pockets out. When driving always leave enough room to maneuver your car somewhat, especially at stop lights.

Weapons - Let's not get silly here. Use the handgun you're most capable with as a primary carry gun. I'd personally carry a wheelgun with a smaller BUG - something like a 4" Model 66 and a 2" Model 649 or their airweight cousins. You can carry a third gun in the car that's "more bad" if desired. I'd probably also place a high quality semi-auto rifle in the trunk (An M1A or an AR would be a seriously good purchase at this point, but I'd accept even an M1 Carbine).

I could give dozens more tips. But a couple of serious ones are --
* Always look around you and keep your situational awareness.
* Always think 5 seconds ahead of where you are and where you can go if trouble starts.
* Inspect parking lot areas visually before approaching them and watch for people sitting in other cars. Especially the ones at the far end of the lot.
* Talk to neighbors about strangers in the area (especially those seen when you're not home). Make notes of any strange cars or people you see in a pocket notebook in case the hit man is good.
* Refuse to give up gently - Take the S.O.B. with you if it comes to that.

Last.. if you have kids, get them to your sibling's house, parents home, or with trusted relatives out of state. Get 'em out of school -- and out of state if possible. Be sure the relative is one you trust to raise them if you are killed. And be sure to re-write that damned Last-Will & Testament and get it notarized!

[2fast2curious]

Obviously the only link between you and him is your ex-wife.
Solution #1 Find her and have her cancel the contract with the hitman.
#2 Hire a bodygurd or another hitman.
#3 Report your wife to the police( Assuming you can prove she ordered you)
#4 Get a plastic surgery and move to another country

You can use all these solutions whlie wearing full body armor and being armed.

PS. If none of them work, call my uncle in Russia and let him know the geographic location of your city while heading on the plane flight to another state/country. He will take care of your problem. Here is uncle's webpage http://www.globalsecurity.org/wmd/wo...ia/rt-2pmu.htm

[Wraith]

Get the CopStock from Knoxx, rig a harness so that my 590 will always be inside my jacket. Get a good 1911 with a few spare mags.

Live out of a truck, never staying in one area.

Find my ex, tell her to cancel the contract or she'll have some problems of her own.

Ohh yeah lots and lots of buckshot.

[Joint/Strike]

USMC Rules to a gunfight...

#23 Your number one option for personal security is a lifelong commitment to avoidance, deterrence, and de-escalation.

[guntotin_fool]

hit man? be real if ex wanted me dead so bad she would need to do it herself. just for the sheer joy of watching it.

If i found out someone else hired a hit man, easy move to montana, I know a hill i can see for 11 miles in all directions, park the camper up there and let the dog out. any one moves doggie lets me know and then we compare shooting skills, my 30-378 wby against what ever he has.

[jburtonpdx]

Head for the nearest school or other gun-free zone. The hitman will have to leave his guns outside, and you can have a good ol' hollywood brawl.

There really is nothing comparable to add to this thread now. I mean the sheer brilliance is darn near blinding.

I wonder if the "gun free zones" can protect you against projectiles fired from outside the zone? Is there a force field of some kind?

[novus collectus]

I wonder if the "gun free zones" can protect you against projectiles fired from outside the zone? Is there a force field of some kind?

Don't forget that it is againt the law to fire a gun within 3000 feet of a structure. He'd have to an excellent shot.

[IZHUMINTER]

I wonder if the "gun free zones" can protect you against projectiles fired from outside the zone? Is there a force field of some kind?

*smacks forehead*

There's the answer we've all been overlooking! Sell the Hummel collection and buy some kind of force field! Pay for the R&D if you have to!

[Seraph]

Head for the nearest school or other gun-free zone. The hitman will have to leave his guns outside, and you can have a good ol' hollywood brawl.

Some didn't get it, but that's really funny. Guys, he was joking.

[DAVID NANCARROW]

Thats easy-send him centerfold pictures of Janet Reno in suggestive poses. He would have to Braille to find you after that.

[Wraith]

Sometimes I am amazed that so many don't get such blatant sarcasm.

[jburtonpdx]

Some didn't get it, but that's really funny. Guys, he was joking.

I was playing along... sheesh only one guy is allowed to joke at a time around here....

[Bullrock]

Guido huh, you are watching too many Soprano's episodes and really need to get out more.

Whatever happened to Rocky??? He retire???

[jvlip3]

I remembered a Married with Children episode where Sam Kensington is Al Bundy's gaurdian angel. He tells Al that he caught his wife with another man so he sold everything,canceled his life insurance,and killed himself. "Guess I'd showed her huh Bundy!!!!".

[stephen426]

BillCA,

I can't believe that you wasted so much time responding to such a ridiculous post. As most people have said, you only find out about any decent hitman after he has shot you and leaves you dying like an animal. Your moving from hotel to hotel and switching cars idea is absurd. Don't you think your ex-wife might have a few pictures of you?

If this is just for kicks and purely hypothetical, I would have to say call the cops and take a nice long vacation... after you rig the house to take out the hit man.

[novus collectus]

If this is just for kicks and purely hypothetical, I would have to say call the cops and take a nice long vacation... after you rig the house to take out the hit man.

Don't be ridiculous. Setting booby traps is illegal.........have a friend break into the house and do it while your on vacation......denialbility

[xXStarScreamXx]

Bill gets it, the cops don't have the time or talent to stop a hardcore professional. Odds are they would surround his empty car and open fire one it 200 times hitting his seat 6 times and shooting each other in the process.


What I would do, is go to the local italian restaurant. Look for the guys wearing 3 piece suits in the back and put a contract on the contractor. Then I would go to panama, pick up some 5.7's, m4's and alot of plastic explosives. then I would move to the south and lay low. Ill keep the locals off my tail by using big words and handing out meth, after a while no one will notice and Ill live out my days as a school teacher.

[jonathon]

I would take an extended camping trip, and set myself up on a mountain that overlooks the only way in

[PythonGuy]

The cops don't have the time or talent but you guys do? The time you surely have as attested by the posts herein. A good psychotherapist may be more helpful then all the self defense toys you contemplate. Maybe you can hire the "self proclaimed" hero from another great thread on here to protect you.

[xXStarScreamXx]

I forgot to add a smiley thing in my cop ribbing

I'm only half serious, i do go to the range when the dept is there to boost my self esteem. Some are amazing shooters that astound me and some......well....i think they poked holes in their targets to qualify. No joke. I get so-so groups at the 20 yrd line but 98 percent on the silohuette, I saw a cop miss 5 out of 10 from 20 yrds, with one hitting my target. about 5 feet apart. Even on my worst caffiene addled days( I tried loading up on caffiene to simulate being scared and stressed in a less than perfect scenario) ive never shot into another lane


Yes, i do know shooting people is only 2% of their job but when they have a loaded gun you'd want them to beat me, a lowly civilian with no training who the state has deemed cannot carry.

[Eghad]

I would call the Mall Ninja and have him shield meh!

[Grayfox]

Having enough money to make killing me worthwhile has always been a dream of mine.