what to do about brother in law?

[rem870hunter]

not sure if this belongs here or not. hopefully it does, if not please move.

my brother in law told me back in 2002 that when my dad dies he wants me to give 1 of his (my dads) .45 acp pistols to my sister,if she askes for it. he then told me if i didn't he was gonna kick my tail. i told him that it was bought for me and that is was mine. and that i get all the firearms when he dies. which is 100% true. as far as i know he ( my brother in law) doesn't have any firearms at all. and no id card which is needed here in nj to buy and own any legally. my sister doesn't have the id card either.

so having said that he can't legally get any of them of my dads. my dads will specifically states what i get, listed by makes, models, serial numbers. has all receipts for them showing where and when bought. i am the only one to get any of them. no one else. i told my dad right away, he said not to worry about it. i think about it once in awhile. hes over 60 now, and doing good as far as health is concerned. but i am concerned.

what would you do if someone that close told you this or similar?

[Fremmer]

what would you do if someone that close told you this or similar?

Well, your brother in law sounds like an ass. But you probably already know that.

See if Dad will give you a copy of the Will. Then wait and put it out of your mind. It is not worth making a fuss over right now while dad is still alive. Enjoy him while he's still here. When you father passes away, contact a lawyer immediately. Explain what your stupid brother in law told you. Let the lawyer deal with it.

[pony]

When the time comes make sure you take what is yours, it is what your father wants.
I caused a family rift when I did exactly the same thing. My grandmother insisted we split her estate between myself and 2 siblings. I have 3 siblings. After grandmother died my siblings said we should split the estate 4 ways. I said the only way I would split it four ways was if we put one quarter in a legal trust for the omitted siblings children (2 girls). I stated the money was immaterial, it was the wishes of my grandmother I was upholding - and by giving the money to her children I was not disobeyed her wishes. My sister said "no way, I want the money", so I took the full 3rd and haven't spoken to her since
My grandmother raised me for several years when I was aged 2 to 5. It was important to me that I did this one thing for her. She was adamant my sister should not get anything (my sister is a money grabbing, using, useless waste of space with a deadbeat loser of a husband)!

Take those guns, and keep your father proud. What if the brother-in-law pawns it, loses it etc - you'll never forgive yourself.

[spctim11]

I would give him a crappy one then call the cops on him when he is on his way home with it and hope he gets arrested for not having the ID or whatever is needed by law.

And until that day I would tell him to buzz off everytime I see him from now till that day. Or tell your sister that he confided in you about his secretary or their neighbor, babysitter etc...

[MikeyConti]

I agree with the one person that said don't worry about it now that your father is still alive. If he wants all the guns to go to you, he probably has a reason.

I wouldn't want to cause him any stress at his age.
But thats just my 2 cents. I hope everything works out for you though.

[44 AMP]

Find out who is named Executor in your father's will. This is important, because, no matter what your father's will stipulates, it is the executor who decides who gets what, and how much. If he goes against the written will's instructions, you can take him to court, but that is about all that can be done. So, find out who that is, and then decide if it is worth talking to them beforehand.

The best solution would be for your father to give you the guns before he passes, if things work out so that is possible. Many times it isn't, and out loved ones go suddenly, and with little or no warning. Mine did. But if you find yourself in a situation where your father falls ill, and can no longer enjoy his guns, you should work it out with him (again, beforehand if at all possible) for him to gift you those guns while he still lives.

That way, not only do you avoid the family (and potential legal) hassles, but your brother in law doesn't like it , he can take it up with the old man, not you.

And just as a personal thought, anybody who told me that if I didn't give someone a gun he was going to "kick my ass" had better watch their own ass. And bring a lunch.

[JWT]

Best way would be for your dad to give the guns to you before he dies, and make it known. Then their in your possession and belong to you and there shouldn't be any issue.

[kametc]

My dad got wind that my brother was going to sell off all his guns to combine the estate. Dad made me come and get them all that afternoon. That was hard to do. He handed over one "pride and joy" after another. Some of em he had specific instructions who I was to give em to. The rest of em his only words were for me to give em to someone worthy. It takes a long time but I find homes for them. My brother did ask for a S&W Mod 19 that had once been his. I handed it over with a couple boxes of shells.

I wish dad were here and had all the guns back.

Days to the range when none of the kids are around to go are empty empty days.

Enjoy time with your dad while he is here.

Don't worry about the unarmed Bro in law coming to kick the tail of your seemingly well armed self.

[chris in va]

Trust me, be sure his will is squared away. I just went through a fight over an old model 36. The executrix almost threw it in the bay before I rescued it.

However, why does he want her to have your dad's 45 so bad? Is it considered an heirloom?

[RockyMtnTactical]

Tell him to buy his own pistols, those will be yours, dad says!

[jrfoxx]

what would you do if someone that close told you this or similar?

I'd tell this non-relative not to concern himself with what goes on between me and my BLOOD relatives, especially my own father, and he can stick his threats.If he want a gun, let him get his ID and buy his own.It's not like they are all that expensive.If the will says they're yours, thats all there is to it, he's outta luck, and with his attitude, I wouldn't even CONSIDER giving him one now anyways, even if I was POSSIBLY thinking about it before.Sounds like a real jerk.

[rem870hunter]

thank you all for your input so far in this matter. i really do appreciate it.

44amp, i believe i am the executor of the will. not 100% positive though, if i am not then i guess it would be a lawyer. because i am not a lawyer.

chris in va, i am not positive why he wants it. its a new springfield model 1911 (nothing against springfield at all).its looks really really close to the colt govt. model 1911. which he has one of those as well. and that one (the colt) he will not be getting. atleast not while i am alive.

my dad also told me that if my sisiter gets her id card for nj. and she wants 1 of his firearms. it would be MY choice as to what she gets. so she can tell me what SHE wants and i have the final say. the will states that if she wants one its my choice as to what she gets.

brother in law treats me good. was great until he told me what he did in 2002. which changed my mind about him. my mom doesn't trust him either. and i am glad she is still here. he ( brother in law) also wants all my dads marine stuff, his dress blues,nco sword, etc. so thats possibly why he wants that .45 .

and yes i agree if he wants a pistol or some pistols, or any firearms for that matter. he should go buy his own. the springfield model has a lock with a 2 prong key like to lock and unlock it. i think if should something happen. the pistol would get locked and the key misplaced .

he told me a few weeks ago that he was gonna rent a dumpster or 2 when he dies(my dad) and clean up the house. that my dad has so much junk your father is a dam packrat. i told him not to do it and that its my job. but thats another subject,not discussable here. hes got alot of milsurp equipment. summer is gonna be here really soon, so i am going to suggest to my dad that we ( he and i) get out to the range,i'll buy the ammo.

[Mike Irwin]

It would be interesting to know if your BIL has a record, and that's why he doesn't have an ID card or a gun...

You really should talk with your father and find out who is the executor of the will. That way there are no harsh surprises.

If you are executor of the will, you are the sole arbiter of what goes on with the property until the estate is settled. If your brother in law goes in and starts throwing stuff out/taking stuff from the home, get two things: an arrest warrant and a cease and desist order.

[Mach II Sailor]

what would you do if someone that close told you this or similar?

GFY..., bro-in-law

[M1911]

If I were you, I'd tell your BIL "let's discuss that when we come to it. It is not appropriate to talk about this while he is still alive."

Then once your father passes, do what is in the will. If your BIL doesn't like it, so be it. But point out that you are following the written will, which are your father's last wishes.

[honkylips]

Anybody else creeped out by arguing over the will of somebody who is still alive?

Maybe just "buy" the guns from your dad now?

Maybe focus on other things, like spending time with your dad, and with other loved family members, and not worrying about your bro-in-law, who will likely continue to be an a-hole, no matter what.

[M1911]

Anybody else creeped out by arguing over the will of somebody who is still alive?

Unfortunately, it is foreshadowing what is to come. After his father passes, things are likely to get ugly with the BIL. But cross the bridge when you come to it.

His family certainly won't be the first to argue over the estate. It happens all the time.

[Yankee Doodle]

For whatever it's worth, some states permit "joint ownership" of firearms. All my handguns are registered jointly with my son. We both have them listed on our CCW lic. When I die, there is nothing he has to do since as far as the state is concerned he already owns them. If legal in your state, this may solve the problem.

[dwatts47]

he then told me if i didn't he was gonna kick my tail

I have a cousin by marriage that nursed a broken nose for a while for saying something near identical like this to me a few years back.

Seriously I'm a pretty decent, calm person.. until someone who's only related to me by chance of an ill fated marriage gives me an ultimatum.. then I'm volitile.

I'd tell him to **** off, he's my dad and the next time you think you want to acquire a firearm, go thru the proper legal channels and buy one like the rest of us did.

[Kreyzhorse]

I'd tell him to **** off, he's my dad and the next time you think you want to acquire a firearm, go thru the proper legal channels and buy one like the rest of us did.

+1 on that one. I fully expect to have to tell my sister and her husband the same thing one day.

[jakeswensonmt]

This brother in law sounds like a bona fide jackass, and the one in serious need of a series of enthusiastic steel-toed boots to the backside. I wouldn't give anyone anything under threat of violence.

Seems to me that he's already broken the law by making this threat. At the least I'd file a police report, so that if it comes to violence you have it on record that he set the stage. You could even get an "order of protection" (restraining order), they're usually easy to get if you're willing to wade through some paperwork.

BIL seems to forget that in a conflict, they guy who actually has the .45's is likely to be the last man standing.

[Mr. James]

Unfortunately, it is foreshadowing what is to come.

Indeed it is, and that is why, as distasteful as it may seem, it is meet to think this through carefully while you are calm and rational, and not emotionally wrung out at the passing of your father. Have your plan in place. I kind of like Plan Golf Foxtrot Yankee, myself

At least the blood-sucking low-life broadcast his intentions well in advance. He could have sandbagged you and hit you when your guard was down.

May your father enjoy good health and length of days!

[Crosshair]

I'm not too familiar with many members of my dads side of the family, but apparently we have a few people like that.

My dad and Uncle were made executers of the will. (Actually my Uncle is primary with my dad is secondary, but they worked as equals.) My grandpa gave everyone a copy of the will with a clause at the bottom saying that anyone who contested or complained about their share forfeited it and got $1. Grandpa was a guy who didn't take any crap.

/I do miss him and it did kind of suck that it took him so long to die once he started going downhill. He hated being bedridden.

[model70fan]

+1 for Gulf Foxtrot Yankee I am also in this battle with about half of my family over my Grandad (he is still alive) Every time I am confronted by any of them I say the same thing, he's gonna do what he's gonna do and those are the wishes I am going to respect. It's not about the money or the possessions, it's about his wishes. If your dad wants you to have the those guns that is his choice, not your BIL's. Hold up 3 fingers and tell him to read between the lines, don't worry about what some @$$hole that has no business in your relationship with your father thinks. And if he pushes the issue, like others have said, the guy with the .45s usually wins against the guy who wants the .45s

[YukonKid]

Spend as much time with your father as you can before he passes, you cannot get that time back. Then worry about guns. You are the son, your BIL can go to he11, he has no legal rights to anything, unless previously stated by your father in the will and witnessed by a second and signed off on by his attorney. Talk with your sister about it, she has an opinion as well.

YK