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Old January 6, 2013, 07:29 PM   #1
Romeo 33 Delta
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Ban 'em ... Ban 'em all! Stopping the hqap madness.

I just saw a story on the nightly news that today's "run-of-the-mill" (but very high tech) scanners, copiers and printers are capable of producing counterfit bills that are easily passed to the unwary without some close scrutiny.

That got me to thinking ... isn't about time that the government make a big push to have these banned? When I think of the monetary damage this does to the economy, I just shudder. Imagine yourself finding you've just taken in a counterfit $50 (or worse, several) and then have to turn them into the Feds without compensation. Talk about being ROBBED!
Let's face it ... if it saves just one life!

Plainly, there is absolutely no need for any normal citizen to own this type of scanner/copier/printer that is capable of such precision that it can be used to manufacture paper money that passes all but extreme measures. Clearly, the only purpose for such precision machines IS to print money and other "secure" documents and just as certain, the only people wanting to do this are evil-doers and craven, criminal types.

There is no doubt in my mind that the Framers of the Constitution never envisioned this technology in printing. There is no doubt that these precision printing devices fall far outside the intended scope of the 1st Amendment's protections.


Anyone having what we determine to be a "high-quality, precision scanner, copier, printer" (the names and model numbers to follow) or "HIGH QUALITY ASSAULT PRINTER" ( HQAP) as we will call them henceforth will be required to register them and have their sales tracked via a national registry. No private, person-to-person sales will be permitted. All sales will have to be through Federally licensed dealers. Further, persons in possession of a HQAP will be restricted as to the amount of "quality" copy paper and "quality" ink that they are allowed to have on hand. We are investigating requiring a special license for anything over 30 pieces of "quality" paper and "quality" ink or may just go with outlawing anything over 30 pieces.

Further, HQAP owners will be required to account for all the "quality" copy paper and "quality" ink in their possession. To include, but not limited to: when, where, how, and for what it was used and the ultimate dispossession of said paper. Afterall, it is clear that no one needs to have more than 30 pieces of "quality" copy paper/ink on hand. I mean, what are you worried about? It has no legitimate other use, unlike toilet paper or paper towels or newsprint (what's that?). We also intend to introduce legislation which will make further manufacture of such HQAP illegal. We also will do this with "quality" copy paper/ink (because there will be no need for "quality" paper and "quality" ink, that type with which one can combine the primary colors thereof to mimic all other colors).

Further information will be forthcoming following our meeting with VP Biden for additional rules and regulations. Everyone knows that I stand behind the 1st Amendment 100%. I even have a regular printer and crappy paper and ink, but we are talking about saving our economy. We're talking about the "greater good". We all have to be willing to compromise on this assault on our economic stability and by following my plan as outlined above, we will be able to rid ourselves of the curse of counterfit money, once and for all.

Last edited by Shane Tuttle; January 6, 2013 at 09:49 PM.
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Old January 6, 2013, 08:11 PM   #2
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Amusing and not much more ridiculous than the gun control blah blah we are hearing these days.
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Old January 6, 2013, 08:21 PM   #3
Nine the Ranger
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It actually makes MORE sense than Gun Control.
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'In a Man to Man fight, the Winner is He who has one more round in his magazine.'-Erwin Rommel
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Old January 6, 2013, 08:29 PM   #4
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A printer can't shoot bullets! It doesn't take life!

I can hear it now...
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Old January 6, 2013, 09:15 PM   #5
Romeo 33 Delta
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I had my tongue planted so firmly into my cheek that I poked a hole in it!

I just couldn't resist when I saw that story ... I mean. it was just TOO PERFECT. And the beauty is that THEY don't see it.

I know that HQAPs don't fire bullets that kill people ... but think of the damage to the economy ... made up of over-worked. under-paid peasants (or is it pheasants, I get them mixed up all the time). What about the guy, having lost a bunch of money due to counterfitters, takes his life ... or that of his wife ... a friend ... a child ... his pet dog. What about your local bank ... thousands and thousands in funny money losses.

But you're right ... except you could make a color copy of a gun and bullets.
Just sayin'!

Kimio ... just did think of this however. The use of a firearm does not always cause harm to any living thing. The printing and passing counterfit money always does. Just sayin'!

Last edited by Romeo 33 Delta; January 7, 2013 at 12:06 AM.
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Old January 7, 2013, 02:42 AM   #6
Dr Big Bird PhD
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I hear Ben Bernanke has a room full of HQAPs
I told the new me,
"Meet me at the bus station and hold a sign that reads: 'Today is the first day of the rest of your life.'"
But the old me met me with a sign that read: "Welcome back."
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Old January 7, 2013, 04:33 AM   #7
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I'm not disagreeing with you Romeo lol

I was just stating what the anti's would most likely say. Most common argument I'd say is "You're trying to compare apples to oranges, they're not the same, a printer wasn't designed to kill, while guns are."

I've heard this numerous times, and no matter how you word it, they will never hear it. Emotion is a potent influence, it warps our way of thinking and makes us throw any sort of rational and critical thinking out of the window.

But I'm sure you already know that, and I won't insult your intelligence any further by repeating what many folks here already know through years of experience and wisdom which I lack :P

Back on topic, I couldn't help but smile while reading through the whole thing, it was really entertaining, and I also agree with you. Such a shame that the anti' have their heads so far up their butt puckers they can't see it let alone hear it.
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Old January 8, 2013, 10:28 PM   #8
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Lets ban ignorant politicians
It takes a small and petty person to be offended at another persons sig line on an internet forum. :barf:
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Old January 9, 2013, 08:31 AM   #9
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...a printer wasn't designed to kill, while guns are."
NO !! guns are NOT designed to "KILL".., they are designed to fill a need in the market, target shooting, varmint control, home protection, etc., no one gun can full-fill every situation, e.g., i prefer a double action pistol like the SIG P226 over a single action 1911A1......., BUT !! i prefer the 1911A1 for it's knock down power.
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Old January 9, 2013, 10:14 AM   #10
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...A printer can't shoot bullets...
Your correct. But it seems that a printer can help feed ammo though...

Printed AR-15 Magazine data now free for all. Link below

Speaking of gun magazines....Kind of got me thinking now...Just how many pages would they want to restrict a gun magazine too?

Last edited by Fishing_Cabin; January 9, 2013 at 10:51 AM.
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Old January 9, 2013, 10:53 AM   #11
Glenn E. Meyer
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Ok, it's funny but we are having a proliferation of threads that aren't really more than venting. I appreciate that but closed.
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