How do I break it to the wife? Bought two guns instead of one. . . . - Page 2

TXAZ · September 2, 2012, 10:27 AM

4 Paws: How many years have you been married?

Can't imagine getting away with that one after more than a few years.

Sparks1957 · September 2, 2012, 10:33 AM

My wife and I keep our money separate, and both contribute an agreed-upon amount to an account used to pay the house bills. This really works well, and keeps us from fighting about money almost completely.

What is left in my own account is mine to spend as I see fit, but Suzy is also very supportive of my gun/reloading hobbies and enjoys going to the range with me some of the time.

I'm a lucky guy. No secrets makes a happy, healthy marriage... We've both tried it the wrong way with other people in the past, and this way works better.

Daggitt · September 2, 2012, 10:38 AM

(I'm going to get flamed for this but I'm doing it anyway , for the OP's protection.) To the OP. You might be cautious about utilizing advice from any post herein containing the phrase , " My first marriage ...."

jimbob86 · September 2, 2012, 11:38 AM

First, lock up the guns/ammo.

Little kids curiosity trumps their reason and discipline. When they are older, you should teach them gun safety, but when they are 3-5 ..... "don't touch that", and lock them up. .... and you really should, as a responsible parent, teach them gun safety, just as you should teach them to swim: guns are out there, just as deep water is ...... those are important life skills, and they should know how to deal with them...... the alternative is to allow them to persist in their ignorance, and hope they never encounter either one.....

That said, you seem to have gotten the cart before the horse- A Mosin and a Glock are not going to be real conducive to getting your wife intersted in shooting, nor really useful in teaching the tykes in a few years..... I suggest a .22 .......

* I have 5 kids, 16 down to just turned 8. Wife was averse to me getting a pistol when they were small, and looked at me like I'd lost my mind when I said I wanted a Carry Permit...... I have the permit, a modest collection of guns, and 2 daughters that hunt ..... Eldest shot trap in jr high ..... soon to be 10 year old son likes shooting my Ruger Frontier in 7-08 .... and given a set of shooting sticks, can pop milk jugs at 100-150 yards with almost boring regularity...

Daggitt · September 2, 2012, 12:34 PM

You know what it is. Them darn guns are breeding in there again!

armoredman · September 2, 2012, 01:11 PM

Piling on with the lockbox idea, doesn't have to be expensive or fancy, just something to keep little prying fingers away. The LifeJacket item might work well for you.
Also, pick up a copy of Massad Ayoobs excellent pamphlet, "Gun Proof Your Children".
Come clean about it, tell her one of your main concerns was HER safety and the safety of your child. Get her involved if you can. Also, since this is your first handgun, prove to her you mean it about being a safe and responsible gun owner by getting some good local training, starting with the NRA Hunter Safety course and moving up.

berettaprofessor · September 2, 2012, 09:11 PM

Quote:

4 Paws: How many years have you been married?

Can't imagine getting away with that one after more than a few years.

Can't answer for 4 Paws, but I can say that it will work for quite awhile...like 30 years. It helps when the wife really isn't interested if the number is 1 or 100.

Yeah, sure, she'll be mad about it someday, but that's because she's selling them all after I'm dead and sees the original receipts.

Eghad · September 2, 2012, 11:08 PM

She is going to see the gun some way and some how. I wouldnt leave it in a hidey hole in the garage if I had kids.

better to cross that bridge than when you are halfway around the world TDY. Bad news doesn't age like fine wine.

Wife's can count and they can remember details you can't. I think they let you think you have gotten away with that gun purchase.

BEASTmode · September 3, 2012, 12:57 AM

So I finally told her as we talked before going to bed. I guess it worked out to my advantage that I told her on the same day I bought it (Saturday).

Of course she wasn't the happiest woman in the world, but she was glad I didn't keep the secret from her for longer than a day. I was hoping she'd be more angry than disappointmented; but no, she was more disappointed. Funny how woman can do that to you.

7 years down, at least 7 more to go right.

I did sleep on the couch Saturday night, lol.

The world is balanced again.

FloridaVeteran · September 3, 2012, 02:32 AM

Beast - if it hasn't yet been mentioned in this thread, you need to reach Critical Mass - the point at which your wife doesn't have a clue how many guns you own. After that, you will have peace and harmony in your life.

Think of it this way - do you know how many purses or pairs of shoes your wife owns? Let's say you do and that there is not a kinky reason you know that - how much are those purses and shoes worth today, the day (or more) after she has used them? Now compare that to the immediate-sale value of your guns. You have investments, at least relative to purses and shoes. 'Nuff said.

Get your inventory to Critical Mass and life becomes way better, though one must remain conscious about the timing and method of the introduction of new brethren to the gun safe. It is all part of Life's Plan.

Pilot · September 3, 2012, 04:12 AM

Does she tell you about every pair of shoes and handbags she gets? I think you're overthinking. Relax. It is just a gun. Do most men live in fear of their wives?

Sport45 · September 3, 2012, 04:45 AM

Quote:

Do most men live in fear of their wives?

I don't. And my wife doesn't live in fear of me.

Mutual respect is a good thing and has nothing to do with fear.

What's wrong with trying to keep each other happy?

gaseousclay · September 3, 2012, 06:30 AM

Quote:

Does she tell you about every pair of shoes and handbags she gets?

the OP clearly stated in his post that large purchases are mulled over, talked about and debated with his wife. comparing a handgun purchase (a lethal weapon) to a pair of shoes or a purse is a false equivalency imo, unless those items cost hundreds of dollars each. you guys can't keep using the same argument to justify a firearm purchase, especially to someone who is new to firearms, has children in the house, does not have a gun safe and has a wife that dislikes guns.

gaseousclay · September 3, 2012, 06:41 AM

Quote:

So I finally told her as we talked before going to bed. I guess it worked out to my advantage that I told her on the same day I bought it (Saturday).

Of course she wasn't the happiest woman in the world, but she was glad I didn't keep the secret from her for longer than a day. I was hoping she'd be more angry than disappointmented; but no, she was more disappointed. Funny how woman can do that to you.

7 years down, at least 7 more to go right.

I did sleep on the couch Saturday night, lol.

The world is balanced again.

well, it's good you came clean. again, look at it from your wife's viewpoint. even if you're in a good place financially, making impulse purchases just because you want something versus needing something are different things. your wife is probably thinking you've broken her trust, which you did, and that $400+ for a handgun would've gone a long way towards purchases for your children.

my wife is currently 12 weeks pregnant and this will be our first child. when I convinced my wife over a month ago to let me get another rifle it was under certain conditions, that it cost a certain amount and that it's stored in a gunsafe. I also knew that with a baby on the way I probably wouldn't be making any firearm purchases for awhile, so if I was going to get one it's now or never. the point is, I had my wife's consent and I budgeted for it. I maintain our finances in the house so I know exactly how much we have in savings and how much expendable income we have. We're not hurting by any means and I do put a decent portion of our paychecks into our savings account for the baby fund. I personally don't think lying to your wife behind her back was a wise move. believe me, i've had the exact same thought as you and probably posted a similar question on the forum at some point, but in the end I took the advice of most of the members here and talked to my wife openly and honestly about guns. so far it's worked out

Magnum Mike · September 3, 2012, 10:01 AM

Just be careful! When I met my woman, she asked "why do you need all those guns and fishing poles"? Well to date she now has more poles than I do! She now loves to shoot MY guns and MY ammo. Now she is looking for a handgun she can call HER OWN! Sad part is I probably wont be able to use it but will still have to supply the ammo for it.

Sure Shot Mc Gee · September 3, 2012, 02:43 PM

Right off the bat: Thank you Sir, for your Service Time. It surely is appreciated here on this end.

I've been known to suffer a case of "excessive indulgence" too.
Being married to the same gal for 46 years and I'll share a little Tip with you that worked for me a few times over the years. Tell her you love her. But you just had to have them. Let the Mrs. air her views and expect to be in the dog house for a few days. Here's the Tip: When you get the chance. Out of the clear blue surprise her with a Peace Offering. A quick apology is all that's needed. Buy her a little something special just for her alone. Nothing too expensive. Just a little something/something is all that's required. That's what I've done. I'm pretty sure you'll survive your ordeal too.

jimbob86 · September 3, 2012, 03:13 PM

Hey, get it right: I'm knucklewalking Neandertal!

Sparks1957 · September 3, 2012, 03:20 PM

Sorry, Jimbob. I stand corrected

pturner67 · September 3, 2012, 03:37 PM

The easiest way to break it to her:

1. Go to her and tell her you need to talk
2. Tell her you are having an affair

and then quickly

3. Tell her you were kidding and that you just wanted to let her know you got an extra gun because it was a steal of a deal

That second gun seems like a small issue when you're not cheating on your wife

Rembrandt · September 3, 2012, 05:33 PM

I'm always puzzled when someone thinks the fate of their marriage hinges over a few hundred dollar expense....makes me wonder how healthy the marriage really is.

Boatme98 · September 3, 2012, 06:08 PM

"Honey, look what I got you!"

45Gunner · September 4, 2012, 02:20 PM

My wife and I have a deal... She never questions what I buy because I use my own money and she knows that I hardly ever **** it away. And if that rare moment occurs that I do, she is usually involved.

Likewise, I never question what she spends her money on. It's hers and she can spend in any manner she sees fit.

My wife appreciates that my guns are my hobby and also a means of protection and defense for both of us. She is very pro-gun. Just wish she would like to learn to shoot but has no interest.

OK, said my piece and now have to go pack my range bag because my shooting buddies and I are off to the range tonight.

Stressfire · September 4, 2012, 03:40 PM

Start out the confession the same way I do: "Honey, I love you...."

Don't keep secrets, chances are she will be more upset with you for lying than just doing something dumb (dumb in her view, that is

).

Edited for update - just read your last post, BEASTmode. Well done on 'fessing up. You got one thing right though, I much prefer outright anger to disappointment, especially the look that always accompanies

thedudeabides · September 4, 2012, 05:02 PM

The wife knows I buy a gun every few months or so. I recently bought a P30 and a P229, I only got away with it because I traded one of my USP's for the P30...

She doesn't mind me buying guns, as long as she knows I'm using them for CCW or at the range.

What she does mind if I just buy a gun and keep it in the safe and never use it.

sgms · September 4, 2012, 10:23 PM

Good, +1 for telling her. Now get a lock box for it, start teaching the kids safety(try NRA's Eddie Eagle program), have your wife spend a little time on corneredcat.com a woman's sight about guns and may help her feel better about them in the house.

September 2, 2012, 10:27 AM	#26
TXAZ Senior Member Join Date: September 5, 2010 Location: McMurdo Sound Texas Posts: 4,322	4 Paws: How many years have you been married? 4 Paws: How many years have you been married? Can't imagine getting away with that one after more than a few years. __________________ Cave illos in guns et backhoes

September 2, 2012, 11:38 AM	#29
jimbob86 Junior member Join Date: October 4, 2007 Location: All the way to NEBRASKA Posts: 8,722	BTDT.* First, lock up the guns/ammo. Little kids curiosity trumps their reason and discipline. When they are older, you should teach them gun safety, but when they are 3-5 ..... "don't touch that", and lock them up. .... and you really should, as a responsible parent, teach them gun safety, just as you should teach them to swim: guns are out there, just as deep water is ...... those are important life skills, and they should know how to deal with them...... the alternative is to allow them to persist in their ignorance, and hope they never encounter either one..... That said, you seem to have gotten the cart before the horse- A Mosin and a Glock are not going to be real conducive to getting your wife intersted in shooting, nor really useful in teaching the tykes in a few years..... I suggest a .22 ....... * I have 5 kids, 16 down to just turned 8. Wife was averse to me getting a pistol when they were small, and looked at me like I'd lost my mind when I said I wanted a Carry Permit...... I have the permit, a modest collection of guns, and 2 daughters that hunt ..... Eldest shot trap in jr high ..... soon to be 10 year old son likes shooting my Ruger Frontier in 7-08 .... and given a set of shooting sticks, can pop milk jugs at 100-150 yards with almost boring regularity... Last edited by jimbob86; September 2, 2012 at 04:40 PM.

September 2, 2012, 11:08 PM	#33
Eghad Senior Member Join Date: May 28, 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 6,231	She is going to see the gun some way and some how. I wouldnt leave it in a hidey hole in the garage if I had kids. better to cross that bridge than when you are halfway around the world TDY. Bad news doesn't age like fine wine. Wife's can count and they can remember details you can't. I think they let you think you have gotten away with that gun purchase. __________________ Have a nice day at the range NRA Life Member

September 3, 2012, 04:12 AM	#36
Pilot Senior Member Join Date: December 21, 2000 Posts: 4,193	Does she tell you about every pair of shoes and handbags she gets? I think you're overthinking. Relax. It is just a gun. Do most men live in fear of their wives? __________________ Pilot

September 3, 2012, 02:43 PM	#41
Sure Shot Mc Gee Senior Member Join Date: January 2, 2012 Location: Minnesota Posts: 3,876	Oops!! Right off the bat: Thank you Sir, for your Service Time. It surely is appreciated here on this end. I've been known to suffer a case of "excessive indulgence" too. Being married to the same gal for 46 years and I'll share a little Tip with you that worked for me a few times over the years. Tell her you love her. But you just had to have them. Let the Mrs. air her views and expect to be in the dog house for a few days. Here's the Tip: When you get the chance. Out of the clear blue surprise her with a Peace Offering. A quick apology is all that's needed. Buy her a little something special just for her alone. Nothing too expensive. Just a little something/something is all that's required. That's what I've done. I'm pretty sure you'll survive your ordeal too.

September 2, 2012, 10:33 AM	#27
Sparks1957 Senior Member Join Date: September 4, 2011 Location: Vermont Posts: 1,552	My wife and I keep our money separate, and both contribute an agreed-upon amount to an account used to pay the house bills. This really works well, and keeps us from fighting about money almost completely. What is left in my own account is mine to spend as I see fit, but Suzy is also very supportive of my gun/reloading hobbies and enjoys going to the range with me some of the time. I'm a lucky guy. No secrets makes a happy, healthy marriage... We've both tried it the wrong way with other people in the past, and this way works better.

September 2, 2012, 10:38 AM	#28
Daggitt Senior Member Join Date: March 11, 2011 Posts: 321	(I'm going to get flamed for this but I'm doing it anyway , for the OP's protection.) To the OP. You might be cautious about utilizing advice from any post herein containing the phrase , " My first marriage ...."

September 2, 2012, 12:34 PM	#30
Daggitt Senior Member Join Date: March 11, 2011 Posts: 321	You know what it is. Them darn guns are breeding in there again!

September 2, 2012, 01:11 PM	#31
armoredman Senior Member Join Date: May 22, 2007 Location: Arizona Posts: 5,297	Piling on with the lockbox idea, doesn't have to be expensive or fancy, just something to keep little prying fingers away. The LifeJacket item might work well for you. Also, pick up a copy of Massad Ayoobs excellent pamphlet, "Gun Proof Your Children". Come clean about it, tell her one of your main concerns was HER safety and the safety of your child. Get her involved if you can. Also, since this is your first handgun, prove to her you mean it about being a safe and responsible gun owner by getting some good local training, starting with the NRA Hunter Safety course and moving up.

September 3, 2012, 12:57 AM	#34
BEASTmode Junior Member Join Date: September 18, 2011 Posts: 4	So I finally told her as we talked before going to bed. I guess it worked out to my advantage that I told her on the same day I bought it (Saturday). Of course she wasn't the happiest woman in the world, but she was glad I didn't keep the secret from her for longer than a day. I was hoping she'd be more angry than disappointmented; but no, she was more disappointed. Funny how woman can do that to you. 7 years down, at least 7 more to go right. I did sleep on the couch Saturday night, lol. The world is balanced again.

September 3, 2012, 02:32 AM	#35
FloridaVeteran Senior Member Join Date: July 26, 2012 Location: Central Florida Posts: 399	Beast - if it hasn't yet been mentioned in this thread, you need to reach Critical Mass - the point at which your wife doesn't have a clue how many guns you own. After that, you will have peace and harmony in your life. Think of it this way - do you know how many purses or pairs of shoes your wife owns? Let's say you do and that there is not a kinky reason you know that - how much are those purses and shoes worth today, the day (or more) after she has used them? Now compare that to the immediate-sale value of your guns. You have investments, at least relative to purses and shoes. 'Nuff said. Get your inventory to Critical Mass and life becomes way better, though one must remain conscious about the timing and method of the introduction of new brethren to the gun safe. It is all part of Life's Plan.

September 3, 2012, 10:01 AM	#40
Magnum Mike Senior Member Join Date: December 24, 2007 Location: Rochester, MN Posts: 347	Just be careful! When I met my woman, she asked "why do you need all those guns and fishing poles"? Well to date she now has more poles than I do! She now loves to shoot MY guns and MY ammo. Now she is looking for a handgun she can call HER OWN! Sad part is I probably wont be able to use it but will still have to supply the ammo for it.

September 3, 2012, 03:13 PM	#42
jimbob86 Junior member Join Date: October 4, 2007 Location: All the way to NEBRASKA Posts: 8,722	Hey, get it right: I'm knucklewalking Neandertal!

September 3, 2012, 03:20 PM	#43
Sparks1957 Senior Member Join Date: September 4, 2011 Location: Vermont Posts: 1,552	Sorry, Jimbob. I stand corrected

September 3, 2012, 03:37 PM	#44
pturner67 Senior Member Join Date: February 26, 2006 Posts: 737	The easiest way to break it to her: 1. Go to her and tell her you need to talk 2. Tell her you are having an affair and then quickly 3. Tell her you were kidding and that you just wanted to let her know you got an extra gun because it was a steal of a deal That second gun seems like a small issue when you're not cheating on your wife

September 3, 2012, 05:33 PM	#45
Rembrandt Senior Member Join Date: August 10, 2002 Posts: 2,108	I'm always puzzled when someone thinks the fate of their marriage hinges over a few hundred dollar expense....makes me wonder how healthy the marriage really is.

September 3, 2012, 06:08 PM	#46
Boatme98 Senior Member Join Date: April 5, 2008 Location: Mid Tennessee Posts: 357	"Honey, look what I got you!" __________________ It's good to be the king.

September 4, 2012, 02:20 PM	#47
45Gunner Senior Member Join Date: August 8, 2009 Location: Boca Raton, FL Posts: 1,902	My wife and I have a deal... She never questions what I buy because I use my own money and she knows that I hardly ever **** it away. And if that rare moment occurs that I do, she is usually involved. Likewise, I never question what she spends her money on. It's hers and she can spend in any manner she sees fit. My wife appreciates that my guns are my hobby and also a means of protection and defense for both of us. She is very pro-gun. Just wish she would like to learn to shoot but has no interest. OK, said my piece and now have to go pack my range bag because my shooting buddies and I are off to the range tonight. __________________ 45Gunner May the Schwartz Be With You. NRA Instructor NRA Life Member

September 4, 2012, 03:40 PM	#48
Stressfire Senior Member Join Date: June 16, 2011 Location: Ohio Posts: 1,497	Start out the confession the same way I do: "Honey, I love you...." Don't keep secrets, chances are she will be more upset with you for lying than just doing something dumb (dumb in her view, that is). Edited for update - just read your last post, BEASTmode. Well done on 'fessing up. You got one thing right though, I much prefer outright anger to disappointment, especially the look that always accompanies __________________ "The best diplomat I know is a fully charged phaser bank" - Montgomery Scott

September 4, 2012, 05:02 PM	#49
thedudeabides Senior Member Join Date: August 22, 2012 Posts: 1,031	The wife knows I buy a gun every few months or so. I recently bought a P30 and a P229, I only got away with it because I traded one of my USP's for the P30... She doesn't mind me buying guns, as long as she knows I'm using them for CCW or at the range. What she does mind if I just buy a gun and keep it in the safe and never use it.

September 4, 2012, 10:23 PM	#50
sgms Senior Member Join Date: May 30, 2010 Location: Arizona or Ohio depending Posts: 1,021	Good, +1 for telling her. Now get a lock box for it, start teaching the kids safety(try NRA's Eddie Eagle program), have your wife spend a little time on corneredcat.com a woman's sight about guns and may help her feel better about them in the house.

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