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Old August 19, 2009, 09:14 PM   #1
Tom Servo
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How to register my hands?

So, I had a guy asking me about rifles today. Specifically, the AR-15 and the AK-47. I began to explain the differences, when he interrupted to ask, "which is more tactical?"

"Ummm," I stammered. " that depends on how you' (?) it."

He said, "well, it's just a fallback, if you know what I mean."

I replied that I regretted not knowing exactly what he meant.

He then said, and I am not kidding, "my first line of defense is my hands. They're registered as lethal weapons."

I deserve a medal of some sort for keeping a straight face. I really do. Many responses flashed through my mind, but the one I voiced was, "so how do you go about registering them? Is there paperwork? What agency handles and tracks the registrations?"

He stammered something about "the police" and wandered off.

My question is this: where did this idea come from? Has there ever been a situation in where it was not only possible, but required, to register one's hands as lethal weapons?
Sometimes it’s nice not to destroy the world for a change.
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Old August 19, 2009, 09:22 PM   #2
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I remember my mother using this exact phrase when talking about a neighbor, a police officer with martial arts training. But I've never found any place that "registers" any body part as a lethal weapon. I think the neighbor must have been pulling my mother's leg, and she sometimes doesn't get it when people do that. ;-)
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Old August 19, 2009, 09:28 PM   #3
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Dunno...give me a couple minutes to give ole' Mr. Norris a ring and see where he had to go too register. I did my registration on-line and it only cost me $300

Oh wait, google just showed me that I got taken

J/K Some....Um....Don't know the term but the "mall ninjas" of the martial arts world sometimes say that once you have gotten a certain certificate of accomplishment that you are a "lethal" weapon. Some even take it as far as saying you need to register your hands. Kinda funny but sad at the same time.

Μολὼν λάβε

Time for the Mall Ninja list:
Beretta 92fs, Springer XD9, High Standard Model HB, RRA bull heck with it time to go plink
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Old August 19, 2009, 11:44 PM   #4
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You met Ralph Malph???
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Old August 19, 2009, 11:51 PM   #5
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I remember nearly 35 years ago hearing of this. But soon after I learned it was a urban legend loosely tied to the possibility that a pro fighter could face tuffer charges that would be harder to counter if he were to beat a guy to death compared to a regular joe as the pro knows his abilities and likelihood it could cause severe injury or death.
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Old August 20, 2009, 01:24 AM   #6
Lost Sheep
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You can "register" with these organizations

Originally Posted by hogdogs
I remember nearly 35 years ago hearing of this. But soon after I learned it was a urban legend loosely tied to the possibility that a pro fighter could face tuffer charges that would be harder to counter if he were to beat a guy to death compared to a regular joe as the pro knows his abilities and likelihood it could cause severe injury or death.
I heard something similar.

If you are a member of the WBA, NBA, IPBA or XFA, et al (World Boxing Association, National Boxing Assoc, International Professional Boxing Assoc., Xtreme Fighting Assoc) or maybe even any of the Amateur Associations, you are "registered" and entitled to particpate in contests sanctioned by those organization. I believe (at least with the professional associations) you have to be registered to actually win a title or even enter a contest.

Add to that, that (supposedly) a prosecutor might charge a higher level of assault charge against you if you got in a fight with someone you knew was not in your league. Maybe even attempted murder or the much fabled Assault with a Deadly Weapon.

As far as I know it is an urban myth, but as far as I know is not very far.

But if you (a non-professional fighter) had a fender-bender with a professional boxer or mixed martial artist pro and it escalated to fisticuffs, with both of you unarmed, would you like for your District Attorney to have that charge as one of his options?

Note: This is all speculation (except that membership requirement thing, For example, if you are not licensed (registered?) with the Nevada State Athletic Commission you cannot ingage in contests and exhibitions of unarmed combat within the state of Nevada.

Personally, I don't give it much credence. It also doesn't matter much to me, as my hands are definitely sub-lethal.

Lost Sheep
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Old August 20, 2009, 03:00 AM   #7
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I'm going to register as master of 'leaping turtle jitsu'
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Old August 20, 2009, 03:32 AM   #8
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Let me see if I can dig up the paperwork...... Here it is! I filed it under "Crap that makes no difference, because I own a gun".
"An armed society is a polite society. Manners are good when one may have to back up his acts with his life."- Robert Heinlein

Some of you guys need to trade in a few of those Safe Queens and see if you can get a good deal on a Sense of Humor.- Me
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Old August 20, 2009, 04:05 AM   #9
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If you go to:, you can see a member list... NINE PEOPLE fell for this! I think there is some serious penis envy happening there!! Maybe these people should just wear signs that say "I'm a REALLY BIG TOOL!"

Thanks for the link! lol

I just looked again... That crap costs $40!!

I'd rather buy another box of .45...

Last edited by SoupieXX75; August 20, 2009 at 04:09 AM. Reason: update
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Old August 20, 2009, 07:50 AM   #10
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Do I qualify?

I practice GUN-DO and Rifle-Jitsu regularly, and can shoot very well with my not-so-weak left hand.
Do I qualify?

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Old August 20, 2009, 08:13 AM   #11
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Punch somebody and get yourself arrested. They will fingerprint, you, you will be on record as violence prone and voila, you are registered. Of course if your punchee objects and is a better puncher you may end up in ER instead of the precinct station or county lockup so pick your punchee very carefully.
Good intentions will always be pleaded for any assumption of power. The Constitution was made to guard the people against the dangers of good intentions. There are men in all ages who mean to govern will, but they mean to govern. They promise to be good masters, but they mean to be masters.
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Old August 20, 2009, 08:42 AM   #12
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Funny story.

Now that it's been shared -- and the urban legend put to rest -- I'm going to go ahead & close this. There's nothing really Tactics & Training-related to discuss.


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