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Old May 4, 2000, 12:08 PM   #1
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Can anyone tell me what to do about my S&W .357 Saf-T-Gun? I keep getting false readings on the DNA saliva tester. Also, it being near the muzzle, quite often I shoot part of my nose off.
Also I cut my finger last night and now the print reader on the trigger won't function. Should I reprogram for left hand use?
Also has anyone heard rumors that they may move the saliva tester closer to the mag release as licking the butt would be handier?
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Old May 4, 2000, 12:38 PM   #2
Jack Straw
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Location: Georgia
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The exact same thing happened to me and I wish I had reprogrammed mine.

Instead, I chose to turn mine in at the next local buy-back (remember when we used to be able to own 2 guns?) and use the $5 towards the purchase of a new gun. Of course, the scar meant that I had to be re-fingerprinted and at first I didn't pass the urine test. Apparently because of the level of Hoppe's in my system, they suspected that I had fired more than my alloted 10 rounds that month and thus had to clean my gun. Finally after I passed all the tests and the 6 month waiting period, the BATF delivered my gun to the shooting club where they insured it was locked up for my safety.

Believe me, it would have much easier to simply carry the thing down to the court house and have the thing reprogrammed.

Jack Straw I.D.# SL1911AVE
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Old May 4, 2000, 12:42 PM   #3
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Sorry I can't help you. I'm still trying to get used to my S&W revolver with the 20 pound trigger and the ambi safety/decocker. I couldn't afford the butt-licking option. As it is I keep forgetting to use the remote control on my keyring before I take it out of the holster and then it won't work until I call the factory and give them a credit card number to have it reset. Paying to have my name and Social Security number etched on every cartridge is also time consuming and quite expensive. John
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Old May 4, 2000, 12:48 PM   #4
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Carry it down to the court house?! Are you insane, man? You would have been in violation of Public Law 145-29828-2892 (Paragraph 2, subpara. 18, section a, subsection 3) which clearly provides that no person may transfer a firearm from their home unless escorted by armed security paid for by the transferor), a counselor to assist the neighbors who might see the transfer and become frightened, and having applied for a transfer permit and fee. Further, taking the weapon anywhere near the court house would have put you in violation of Public Law 153-29288-2788 (Paragraph 1, subpara. 1, section b, subsection 7)(the "Gun Free Zone" act) which again clearly states that no firearm may be carried or possessed by a non-authorized person (ie. non-Democrat) within a distance of 5 times the maximum theoretical range of the caliber, or 10 miles (whichever is greater), of any listed area: schools, bars, courts, public road, public park, overpass, underpass, bypass, etc.

Your clear disrrespect of the law indicates that you are just the kind of psychotic, dangerous, sociopathic, homophobic, mysogenistic (sp), anti-semitic, animal hating, right-wing, racist, gun loving anarchist, gets up from the table without clearing his and his female superiors' dishes first, public nose picking serial killer to be that we have to be protected against by all these laws!
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Old May 4, 2000, 01:18 PM   #5
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Wish I could help with all my electronics knowledge.
However I am still serving my twenty-year sentence.
Remember, was playing with my boy when a satellite
spotted me pointing my finger and saying bang.
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Old May 4, 2000, 01:29 PM   #6
Glenn E. Meyer
Join Date: November 17, 2000
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What is a "GUN" ?

Please stop posting this stuff to
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Old May 4, 2000, 01:37 PM   #7
Miss Demeanors
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Join Date: June 22, 1999
Location: Illannoy
Posts: 1,382
I'm glad that I'm not the only with problems with the smart gun. Every time I hit the button on my ring my car alarm goes off. When I try scanning my fingerprint the police arrive at my house, I have to go down to the station and wait three hours for them to find a match on my fingerprints. After I am cleared I have to wait for the tech to come and reprogram it, he always says he will be here between 8am and 6pm but doesn't show up until the next day. The other day someone broke in my house, after I realized there was no sun to repower the solar operated battery, I just told the guy to take what he wants, and I'll even throw in the gun as a bonus. I liked his gun better, it looked like it did back in the good ole days and he was able to fire within seconds. We had a good laugh about that he said that these smart guns have helped his business skyrocket. He brings the dumb guns with him on his route because none of the new smart guns can out do the dumb ones.

BTW I need some WD40 for my wheelchair

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We are as one as we all are the same fighting for one cause -Metallica
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Old May 4, 2000, 02:21 PM   #8
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I'm sorry Dave, I can't let you do that.
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Old May 4, 2000, 02:28 PM   #9
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Posts: 2,926
What's the smart gun? What's a revolver? Isn't that one of those ancient weapons the people used in the John Wayne classics? I haven't seen a gun in ages. Other than the ones the guards beat me with. I got caught with a couple of bricks of .22 and since I removed the Big Brother implant out of my skull, I was illegal. They busted down my neighbor's door and shot him because they thought they had my address. I ran but they eventually got me because of the transmitter implanted in my ankle. Now I have 9 life terms to serve because of the .22 bricks.

1911 Addiction
"Rangers Lead the Way!"

[This message has been edited by ArmySon (edited May 04, 2000).]
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Old May 4, 2000, 02:42 PM   #10
Chris in AL
Join Date: May 3, 2000
Location: birmingham, al, usa
Posts: 47
Where I live, we have to buy those component guns that come in two parts--a barrel mounted on a receiving unit, and a fire button mounted on a transmission unit. The other day, a guy broke in. Luckily, I had just finished downloading this week's safety codes and passwords, and had all my equipment right there, so I was able to shoot at the intruder

The gun didn't fire, but my garage door opened. The guy thought I had reinforcements downstairs and ran away.

Still waiting for my trial, though. Hit the remote on the VCR the other night, and heard my gun go off back in the bedroom. Neighbors got me for an "unauthorized discharge."

"Life is a comedy for those who think; a tragedy for those who feel."--Tacitus
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Old May 4, 2000, 03:03 PM   #11
Oleg Volk
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that short story you sent me last year...guess you weren't paranoid enough. Post in now, maybe?
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Old May 4, 2000, 03:09 PM   #12
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Well, I'm sorry you all are having so much trouble with your HiTech weapons. I just picked up my brand new KinderGentlerBGDeterrentSystem. You simply point it at the BG, pull the trigger (no butt licking here) and the device (*not "weapon," please) says, in a very pleasant voice, "Please step away from the victim." I feel much safer now. I was very nervous during that 200 day waiting period, though.

Oh, yeah, and my son will be coming home from the deprogramming, I mean foster home this weekend. I knew I should've gotten rid of that old Nerf popgun from when I was a kid! The neighbors saw my son playing with it in the yard and were kind enough to point out to me (and the local police, school, and DSS) the error of my ways. I am so lucky they only took him a way for two years and boy, did I learn my lesson. Thank goodness for the excellent school system that is teaching him right from wrong. The zero- tollerance-don't-fight-back-rule is really helping to reshape the youth of America!

Boy, they are right. It really does "take a village to raise a child!"

(or is that "village (idiot)"?)
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Old May 4, 2000, 03:09 PM   #13
Greg G
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For Sale: Russian SKS Rifle. $3,500 firm.
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Old May 4, 2000, 03:21 PM   #14
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Location: OKC, OK
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Gosh guys and gals you sound like you have it really bad. You see I have just decided that I am going to live in the smallest closet in my house. I ran some extension cords and a phone line in and got the computer hooked up. I really wish I had brought something to eat or drink though. I'm afraid to go outside that damn door because there is danger out there. I know if I hide in here, no one can come and shoot me with one of them old timer guns. The other day I heard my wife get robbed and the last think I heard her say was "Wait a second sir I need to get the code in on this dad gum smart thingy!" He just started laughing then a shot rang out and I heard her fall down. She's ok though I heard her come to this morning. She yelled through the door that fortunately it only fired the sandbag barrel and she had it pointed right at her head while trying to get the battery back in. I told her that would happen when we lost the battery cover! I sure am thirsty.

Until the antis put a sign in their front yard that says they don't own guns, they are riding on the shirt-tail of the safety that we provide by owning them.
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Old May 4, 2000, 03:21 PM   #15
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Don't you people realize there's no need for s now--"smart" or otherwise--because we now live in a socialist utopia created by Big Brother? Mass disarmament of the citizenry has proven to be the solution to our former crime problems. (We won't discuss those atavistic types still hiding out in the hills.) Are you people paranoid or what? I suggest you get some counseling...

A loyal servant of Big Brother

Sic semper tyrannis
Old May 4, 2000, 03:23 PM   #16
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Oleg, if you still have it, go ahead. It got vaporized from my system a few months ago.
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Old May 4, 2000, 03:34 PM   #17
Oleg Volk
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For Sale: high-capacity 5-round pre-ban stipper clip for '03 Springfield. $120 or trade for time off my sentence. All UN, Federal, State, County, City, Cell Block (err, neighborhood) rules apply.
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Old May 4, 2000, 04:03 PM   #18
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Location: Peoples Commonwealth of Massachusetts
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[computerized voice of Hill-Billy suddenly spits from your virtual reality computational headgear]

"This is a warning, you have illegally entered the cyber-space of the Peoples Democratic Republic of Massachusetts. You have been observed and recorded by the INner-Space Auditing NEtwork while commiting felonious actions ajuticated to be placing age-impared adults in danger.

This is a clear failure to obey 666 Consumer Protection Regulations, section 13 "no citizen may take part in any activity deemed stupid by the esteemed Attorney General for Life."

The penalty for failing to comply with 666 CPR, section 13 is immediate confiscation of your entire life savings of e-gold which will be used to publicly encriminate your family for being computer illiterate.

Furthermore, because you entered cyber-space controlled by the People's Democratic Republic of Massachusetts without informing the local law enforcement agency that you have, in the past, owned an PROjectile Hurling age-Impaired adult KIlling DeviceS, you will submit your right to breath for 10 minutes commencing in 30 seconds.

Prepare to show official authorised census enumerator your Hidden Personal Identification Number.


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Old May 4, 2000, 04:03 PM   #19
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Posts: 678
I received my new rubber band shooter today, just five years after passing the U.N. background check.

Of course, I can only buy one rubber band per year.

Fortunately for everyone's safety it has a built in alarm that goes off if I try to take it out of the house.
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Old May 4, 2000, 04:37 PM   #20
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Location: Houston, TX
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Gee, this is the first time I've been at a computer since 2002 when President-for-Life Clinton ordered the civil rights of all gun owners permanently revoked, their savings and possessions confiscated, and replaced their jobs with lifelong UN service. It feels's good to see a lot of old familiar screen names still posting, though.
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Old May 4, 2000, 04:50 PM   #21
Oleg Volk
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As usual, our glorious UK comrades are already experiencing the joys of 2010.
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Old May 4, 2000, 05:10 PM   #22
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The only reason we still have internet (or phone) service here in the mountains of North Georgia is we take potshots at the revenooers with the ol' .30-30 whenever they go near the phone lines.

Apparently, volunteers to stand at the foot of every isolated gravel driveway back here in the hills & hollows of Appalachia and holler "Please bring down your deer guns!" got hard to find after the first few weeks...

"..but never ever Fear. Fear is for the enemy. Fear and Bullets."
10mm: It's not the size of the Dawg in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog!
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Old May 4, 2000, 05:25 PM   #23
Oleg Volk
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<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by ckurts:
It feels's good to see a lot of old familiar screen names still posting, though.[/quote]

(will let you in on a secret) We are all bots here. No real people left at all...they are all Soylent Green now.
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Old May 4, 2000, 05:46 PM   #24
Jon K
Join Date: April 20, 2000
Location: Driggs, Idaho
Posts: 74
Alright S&W, what gives? I just brought my new BUTT LICKER 2010 home and turned on the programing screen. After putting in my Federal Identification number a nude picture of Janet Reno came up on the screen. I puked all over the gun. Now I will need to go to the shrink as I will never look at firearms or woman the same. I'll hand it to our(?) government though, best damn gun control plan I've ever seen.

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Old May 4, 2000, 05:57 PM   #25
Join Date: April 1, 2000
Posts: 65
Good to see everyone is is still here and yes Mars is as beautiful as it looks in the brochure. I just wish it wasn't 2 years round trip. Thank God nothing has changed in the good o' Nation of Texas. They just ratified the 5th state and the big party is next weekend at the capital in Austin. It's a good thing we broke away when President-for-life Clinton ordered the constitution burned and all guns taken away and replaced will Clinton and Wesson 2 shot .02 caliber papershooters. I got a letter from a friend who's in prison in New Jersey serving 15 years for saying the word "gun" after the alloted time period of 9:00 am-9:05 am on Mon. and Thurs. He can't wait to get out and finish his 20 years probation burying the left-over bullets so he can get a job at the papershooter plant. I feel sorry for people who got stuck in the US after Texas put up the 50 ft. electric wall. I'm just glad I moved when I did.

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