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Old September 9, 2007, 02:35 PM   #1
Join Date: January 14, 2007
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Keep it a secret?

I am considering getting my concealed carry permit. I have a friend who is also interested in doing this, but he seems very vocal about it. In fact, in his conversations (sometimes in mixed public) with others he mentions his 'plans' to do and often mentions that I am planning to do it too. I don't know if it should necessarily be a 'secret,' but I am feeling that a little more discretion is better. Does anyone else feel that it's better to to keep their permit carrying status a little more confidential?

Maybe this is strange, but my friend wants to take the course and apply together, but I'm starting to feel like I would even rather not have him know if/when I do this, because he is more 'vocal' and would know my status. If/when I get a permit and do carry, I would certainly keep that confidential. It seems more of an advantage. Maybe I just need to relax?
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Old September 9, 2007, 02:44 PM   #2
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It iis your decsion and is entirely up to you because only you know your situation.
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Old September 9, 2007, 03:14 PM   #3
281 Quad Cam
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If it's making you uncomfortable that is all you need to know. Just mention to him to stop bringing you into it when he talks about it. My father does the same thing when talking about me in mixed public - and it makes me uncomfortable too.

I did the course and the paperwork in private and than informed those friends I knew were interested in the process afterwards. I can't explain why but I was more comfortable with it.

Whether you need to relax or not isn't the question. If you are a reasonable human being and you are being made to feel uncomfortable, that's all that matters. From what you describe I don't think you are being unreasonable at all if you were to request that he simply "take you off the list" when hes talking about it. But ofcourse let him talk about himself and his own plans to his hearts content.

Whether it's a good idea to tell people or not. I won't comment. Sometimes I am very secretive with the fact that I carry or am currently carrying. Other times I have pretty loose lips. But I guess it comes down to how comfortable you are in the situation and with the people, doesn't it?
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Old September 9, 2007, 03:36 PM   #4
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As previously stated, . . . it is YOUR call, . . . and maybe a simple one on one chat with your friend will pipe him down. That would be my first step.

I am fairly open about my CHL, . . . but that is my personality, . . . and I can see where others would not feel as comfortable as do I.

Whatever you do, . . . don't let someone else affect how or even if you carry. That again, . . . is YOUR decision.

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Old September 9, 2007, 03:51 PM   #5
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The decision to CCW is completely your business, no one elses's. There is a reason your friend's comments are making you uncomfortable. Let him think you decided against it, then apply without him. Always trust your instinct.
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Old September 9, 2007, 04:08 PM   #6
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The decision to CCW is completely your business, no one elses's

+1. I personally feel it's an advantage when I'm armed and no one knows about it. Being a LEO, friends always assume (sometimes incorrectly) that I'm armed. I've been in many situations where they've told others in a social setting and I've been forced to answer uncomfortable questions. I've since learned to choose friends more wisely. If you're uncomfortable, tell your friend about it. If he's a good one he'll understand.
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Old September 9, 2007, 04:25 PM   #7
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The fewer people who know you carry, the better.

I had a friend at work with a carry permit. I knew he kept a 357 under the seat of his work van and asked him about it. He told me about the process, how to apply, where to take the class, etc. I thought he was a real good friend.

After he was fired I found myself across the table from an attorney, being questioned about whether I carried at work, whether I kept a firearm in the company vehicle, etc. The sorry P.O.S. implicated me in a bunch of crap in a letter to the president of the company.

There are other reeasons- I've heard stories of people arrested because a friend turned on them and used the knowledge they had against them and called the police, claiming they were threatened with a gun.

On Personal Defense TV (I think), Massad Ayoob related a story of an off duty cop shot during a convenience story because the clerk yelled, 'you're a cop! Do something!". A similar situation could concievably happen to a private citizen carrying concealed.

There are plenty of reasons to keep this information to yourself- i'd be uncomfortable with a 'friend' sharing that information.
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Old September 9, 2007, 04:27 PM   #8
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My wife knows that I carry.

Some very close friends know that I "tend" to carry Off-Duty, but I don't tell anyone if I am carrying or not, unless they are an LEO and I have to ID myself. I am an LEO, but I don't tell people that, or what I do for a living. My housecleaner doesn't even know. She just knows that my wife is a nurse and that I "work for the government".

The "very close friends" are ones that I've had for 20+ years, and most are LEO's too.

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Old September 9, 2007, 05:47 PM   #9
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I've told each member of my law firm that I have a CCW, and I've brought it up numerous times with my martial arts class. I always mention it in passing, and I never make it the focus of a conversation unless they inquire further. I talk to them about it as though it were no big deal, and folks I tell almost always agree with me.

My father in law, on the other hand, likes to go on long screaming-rants about "civic duty," the founding fathers, and his "god-given right to self-defense." When he brings it up, he REALLY freaks people out about it. Most of them think he's in his basement, stock-piling MRE's and waiting for the commie invasion. (And, that's mostly true, all except for the basement-part. He lives in a one-floor house.)

There are "good ways" to talk about it, and there are "bad ways." Exercise conversational tact, and be courteous to the sensitivities of others, and you should be able to talk about it with others.
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Old September 9, 2007, 06:22 PM   #10
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Thanks all. I'll likely have a conversation with my friend about using a little more discretion about my plans since he's not 100 percent sure what they are anyway .
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Old September 11, 2007, 06:45 AM   #11
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Point this out to him.

Just suggest you are not at all comfortable with him spreading the word. Explain that you feel this may make your home more of a target for theft. Convince him its in his best interest as well.

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Old September 11, 2007, 07:23 AM   #12
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I believe that my permit and gun ownership should be kept confidential. The whole point of having a CCW is that it is CONCEALED. Also, I don't want potential burglars to know I have guns. I think any valid gun legislation should include the right to privacy.
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How we behave as gun owners is important. Posturing and threatening does not serve us well in the public eye.
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Old September 11, 2007, 08:34 AM   #13
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Very few know, like to keep it that way. Wife, very close family and one coworker. No need for the rest of the world to know.
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Old September 11, 2007, 06:10 PM   #14
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+1 on keeping it a secret. I would not tell my "friend" if and when I take the course. If he keeps up about it, tell him you're not ready yet, etc. Next time he mentions it in public, tell him to speak for himself loud enough for the others to hear. He'll get the message. Either he'll quit bringing you into it or he'll ask why. You can take that opportunity to explain how you feel.

I have friends who have their CWPs and one who's a deputy LEO with the fish and game dept. He also carries but he has a badge. I don't tell them when or if I'm carrying and they don't ask. Even my wife doesn't know unless she happens to hug me or brush up against it. She's very discrete about letting me know I've been made.

I even had a conversation with someone about the application process and requirements of our state while I was carrying. He was amazed that I knew so much about it and asked how I knew. I told him that I had looked into it. He had no idea I was carrying as we spoke. ...and that's how it should be.
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Old September 11, 2007, 10:36 PM   #15
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There's a reason why it's called a concealed carry permit. I don't want to sound cocky, but take that into consideration. Why would you carry concealed and advertise it???? The LAST thing you want is to get into a situation, and have your friend say; "HEY, you got your gun"?
Only the ignorant find ignorance to be bliss. Only those of us who know better will suffer from it.
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Old September 11, 2007, 11:09 PM   #16
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What CCW? Hahaha...seriously, I am sure my dad is the only who knows I carry...
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Old September 11, 2007, 11:18 PM   #17
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Why would you carry concealed and advertise it????
Because the bank teller usually gives you a few thousand extra when you excitedly tell her, "Guess what? I have a gun!" I'm not really sure why that is, but I can only guess that banks are just really supportive of concealed carry.

In all seriousness, though, I guess some people just like to advertise because it makes them feel "cool" to be carrying a gun. Nothing really against people who do so, but clearly if they're outting other people who don't wish to be outted, then there's a problem.
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Old September 12, 2007, 03:19 AM   #18
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If I don't know the person, I keep it to myself. If it is someone I know, I don't really mind them knowing. that is with my CCW permit. Heck, I have even used it as ID to buy a drink. But don't worry, I wasn't carrying. Just was closer then my divers license. But I want as few people as possible that know when I am carrying. That is how I do it.
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Old September 12, 2007, 06:24 PM   #19
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I took a private class also and other than my immediate family and brother, I don't tell anyone or talk about it.

As others, I've given "advice" on how the process works and say that it was something I looked into getting myself at some point.

I agree with what you said, mention it to your friend and let it go at that...hopefully he'll get the message and you can take your class, get your permit, and no one is the wiser...
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Old September 12, 2007, 06:55 PM   #20
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Tell your "friend" to shut up.
Loose lips sinks ships.
Better not to let anybody know.
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Old September 13, 2007, 08:00 PM   #21
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ABSOLUTE SECRECY is what i've learned is best... the hard way. I got fired from my cushy, well-paid job because I was honest when my boss casually asked about it. I never even brought it near the building.
People who argue for the banning of arms ask for automatic rule by the young, the strong, and the many, and that's the exact opposite of a civilized society.
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Old September 14, 2007, 10:55 AM   #22
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I wish I could have this conversation with a friend, but since I live in Illinois, concealed carry is just a pipe dream for now.

Believe me, I'd move if I could.
" Of every One-Hundred men, Ten shouldn't even be there, Eighty are nothing but targets, Nine are real fighters... We are lucky to have them...They make the battle. Ah, but the One, One of them is a Warrior... and He will bring the others back."
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Old September 14, 2007, 11:20 AM   #23
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I have actually worried this particular issue to death. I have some rather iffy cousins and uncles, but they are still my cousins and uncles. My internal debate is whether they need to know I have a CCW and due to that they can not depend on me if they start some sort of stupid altercation, which happens all to frequently. On the one hand it would be nice if they knew that I would retreat because I wouldn't want to get into a gun fight over something stupid, but then that knowledge might actually encourage them to do something stupid thinking I would back them up when the chips were down.

I avoid the whole issue by mostly avoiding that side of the family, but I must admit it's never a dull moment when they are around
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Old September 21, 2007, 09:30 PM   #24
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Tell Them

I have a little difference of "opinion" but it's just that only my opinion. I was in the first wave of people to receive their CC permit when I lived in Ohio. One of the deals we had to accept in order to get ccw passed is all CCW holders name and address would be public record. In addition journalist could publish the list at will.

Those of use who planned to carry discussed this aspect in length and decided that the permit was worth it. What I actually found out was it turned out to be a great opportunity to teach others about firearms. At the time we still had children at home, and some parents had concerns about allowing their children to come over if there were firearms in the house. So we invited them over, and I would show them how firearms could be kept safely in the home with a safe. How our children were educated about firearm safety etc. I normally ended up with parents changing their opinions and about half of them wanting to learn how to shoot.

Today I live in a different state, much more gun friendly. I let peple know that I'm a Certified firearms instructor, and that I have my permit and that I enjoy shooting. I spend the majority of weekends teaching my new friends basic hangun shooting.

So each to their own.
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Old September 23, 2007, 11:41 PM   #25
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I prefer to keep my CHL status confidential, I don't tell anyone but the others with similar interests around can generally tell if/when you're packing. Others with an interest will probably ask you questions about shooting without directly asking if you have a permit or not...either way I'll answer, I just don't advertise.
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