Attack of the Fattest Ninja EVA!

spacemanspiff · October 30, 2005, 05:28 PM

well, homage must be paid to my idol: chris "i am one with the universe" farley. but he didnt have a surefire!!!

Warning! The following attached picture is not for the faint of heart, and may induce nauseu, hyperventilation, and feelings of anxiety by any who choose to view it. Merely clicking on the link to this thread guarantees that the Fat Ninja will be held harmless against any liability or property damage arising directly or indirectly from the viewing of the picture.

This is your last chance. exit the thread now, or forever bow before my Ninjatude!

spacemanspiff · October 30, 2005, 05:35 PM

please hold....i think it might be too horrifying for the server to accept it!

spacemanspiff · October 30, 2005, 05:37 PM

alright this'll hammer my free low-bandwidth file space, but who cares?? i'm so tactical it will hurt you to look at me!

spacemanspiff · October 30, 2005, 05:40 PM

balaclava by gijoes surplus
gloves by kenai
shirt by sportsmans warehouse
pants by royal robbins
shoes by ecco
belt by rafters gunleather (yes theres a belt in there somewhere!)

rifle by colt
mag by beta
foreend by surefire
vertical foregrip/light by surefire
optic by trijicon
glasses by oakley

bellyfat overhanging waistline by mcdonalds, burger king, carls jr, taco bell, and pizza hut

Leif · October 30, 2005, 05:43 PM

LOL!

And I thought the "tacti-roll" was extra armor there ...

Seriously, since you're so tactical, shouldn't you have three or four extra handguns attached to you ... and a NEF .308 slung across your back with all the ATI accessories on it!

Avizpls · October 30, 2005, 06:33 PM

Psht! SO not tactical. I can still see some skin. And those arent anti-reflective glasses. I'd so spot you.

spacemanspiff · October 30, 2005, 06:41 PM

leif, look at my immense girth. i WAS hiding 3 handguns (3oclock iwb, sob, drop thigh holster) and i had a 870 bungeed to the back of my balaclava (that way i dont lose my shotgun or my balaclava too easily).

Leif · October 30, 2005, 06:42 PM

I stand corrected, sir.

stephen426 · October 30, 2005, 06:54 PM

Space,

No offense but I suggest you lose some weight. You are much more likely to die of a heart attack than in any combat situation. Even if you do get into a combat situation, you are a much larger target (pun intended). Besides, you will not be as mobile or agile as someone in better physical shape.

I am not poking fun at you or any overweight people. You have acknowledged that you have a weight problem... now do something about it before it kills you! Even if you don't have a heart attack, there are tons of problems that stem from obesity. Diabetes is one of the more common ones. Sides effects of that disease may include poor circulation, leading to wounds that don't heal nad possible loss of limbs from gangrene setting in. Diabetics can also get glaucoma and go blind. Thta would really hurt your shooting skills. Take care and go easy on the fast food. We like having you around on this forum!

Trip20 · October 30, 2005, 07:00 PM

My son left the house with this mother to go trick or treating a little while ago. He looked remarkably similar (minus the tacti-roll of course).

mgdavis · October 30, 2005, 08:33 PM

Looks like a high tensile strength tacti-shirt

Is that the WildAlaska shop in the background?

StormTrooper · October 30, 2005, 08:33 PM

i think the point was to give us all a break of humor in our day, not audition for the next Biggest Loser. His weight, his choice.

Thanks for the laugh

Don Gwinn · October 30, 2005, 09:30 PM

Quote:

Space,

No offense but I suggest you lose some weight. You are much more likely to die of a heart attack than in any combat situation. Even if you do get into a combat situation, you are a much larger target (pun intended). Besides, you will not be as mobile or agile as someone in better physical shape.

I am not poking fun at you or any overweight people. You have acknowledged that you have a weight problem... now do something about it before it kills you! Even if you don't have a heart attack, there are tons of problems that stem from obesity. Diabetes is one of the more common ones. Sides effects of that disease may include poor circulation, leading to wounds that don't heal nad possible loss of limbs from gangrene setting in. Diabetics can also get glaucoma and go blind. Thta would really hurt your shooting skills. Take care and go easy on the fast food. We like having you around on this forum!

Good thing you were here to tell him that. I'm sure he never knew . . . .

(You're right, and I've lost 110 pounds in the last year myself for all those reasons, but believe me, nobody is fat because they think it's cool.)

**JohnKSa** · October 30, 2005, 09:56 PM

Quote:

i'm so tactical it will hurt you to look at me!

You were SO right! WHY didn't I listen? WHY?

Nice glasses.

But I'm confused--where is EVA? That's the only reason I opened this thread...

Capt. Charlie · October 30, 2005, 10:04 PM

What??? No Samurai sword (that's stamped, "made in Pakistan") slug over your back???

I note that WildAlaska has a spy window in his office, probably to keep you from goofing off!

CaptyouneedtocrackthewhiponhimmoreWildCharlie

USP45usp · October 30, 2005, 10:30 PM

Spiffy,

Thanks agan for a great Ninja pose. (btw, Wild, your shop is clean, I like that

).

+10 on your ninjatude dude

.

Wayne

Wildalaska · October 30, 2005, 11:13 PM

Just so you all know, we harass old Spiffy for being fat, but he is fat like a middle linebacker is fat know what i mean...Dude has moose shoulders and no neck

Know if he wasnt goofin off, the shop would be cleaner

WildscarysightAlaska

SAXD9 · October 30, 2005, 11:24 PM

It's the legendary "Great White Ninja!"

Holy Shnikees!

utaherrn · October 31, 2005, 05:49 AM

Your ninjatude knows no bounds! I am in awe, sir!

I take it some people have never heard of the "tactical fat" that we have discussed in the past. No need for body armor, baby!

The phony katana would be a plus, as would a belt of MG ammo criss-crossed across your body.....the fact that you have no gun capable of firing the belted ammo on you is besides the point, we're talking ninjaness after all!

AND A KNIFE! you have no knife. how can you have no knife? -3 ninja-points! Get thee hence and strap on several knives, big ones! big shiny ones!

EricN · October 31, 2005, 05:59 AM

Spiff,

YOU DA MAN!!!!!!

What no throwing stars???

ericn

Sum1_Special · October 31, 2005, 06:36 AM

Haha, I love it!

The image is forever burned into my memory.

stephen426, I guess about every major thread has a Kill-joy... And, well, congratulations to you.

VirgilCaine · October 31, 2005, 07:09 AM

I would go into the teeth of hell with you, Spiff.

Hiding behind you, of course

Doug.38PR · October 31, 2005, 10:26 AM

Yo Joe! It's Snake Eyes!

http://www.myuselessknowledge.com/joe/snakes.html

stephen426 · October 31, 2005, 10:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sum1 Special

I guess about every major thread has a Kill-joy... And, well, congratulations to you.

I guess it is much easier discussing hypothetical situations that we have almost no chance of getting into (provided you are not law enforcement, living in the ghetto, or going around looking for trouble) rather than facing a national epidemic. Your so right. I apologize for being a realist.

Some people have no common sense and discuss everything from a "tactical" stand point, when the ounce of prevention often eliminates the need for a pound of cure. Besides, I thought I was on your ignore list. Please put me back on!

Space,
I do like that picture though and I hope I have not offended you. I really was being sincere about it. Some people have just come to accept it as a fact and give up. Take care and I'll keep an eye out for a big ninja when the kiddies go trick or treating! I'll give you an apple!

Paintballer · October 31, 2005, 11:49 AM

October 30, 2005, 05:28 PM	#1
spacemanspiff Senior Member Join Date: January 16, 2002 Location: alaska Posts: 3,498	Attack of the Fattest Ninja EVA! well, homage must be paid to my idol: chris "i am one with the universe" farley. but he didnt have a surefire!!! Warning! The following attached picture is not for the faint of heart, and may induce nauseu, hyperventilation, and feelings of anxiety by any who choose to view it. Merely clicking on the link to this thread guarantees that the Fat Ninja will be held harmless against any liability or property damage arising directly or indirectly from the viewing of the picture. This is your last chance. exit the thread now, or forever bow before my Ninjatude! __________________ "Every man alone is sincere; at the entrance of a second person hypocrisy begins." - Ralph Waldo Emerson "People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use." - Soren Kierkegaard

October 30, 2005, 05:35 PM	#2
spacemanspiff Senior Member Join Date: January 16, 2002 Location: alaska Posts: 3,498	please hold....i think it might be too horrifying for the server to accept it! __________________ "Every man alone is sincere; at the entrance of a second person hypocrisy begins." - Ralph Waldo Emerson "People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use." - Soren Kierkegaard

October 30, 2005, 05:37 PM	#3
spacemanspiff Senior Member Join Date: January 16, 2002 Location: alaska Posts: 3,498	alright this'll hammer my free low-bandwidth file space, but who cares?? i'm so tactical it will hurt you to look at me! __________________ "Every man alone is sincere; at the entrance of a second person hypocrisy begins." - Ralph Waldo Emerson "People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use." - Soren Kierkegaard

October 30, 2005, 05:40 PM	#4
spacemanspiff Senior Member Join Date: January 16, 2002 Location: alaska Posts: 3,498	balaclava by gijoes surplus gloves by kenai shirt by sportsmans warehouse pants by royal robbins shoes by ecco belt by rafters gunleather (yes theres a belt in there somewhere!) rifle by colt mag by beta foreend by surefire vertical foregrip/light by surefire optic by trijicon glasses by oakley bellyfat overhanging waistline by mcdonalds, burger king, carls jr, taco bell, and pizza hut __________________ "Every man alone is sincere; at the entrance of a second person hypocrisy begins." - Ralph Waldo Emerson "People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use." - Soren Kierkegaard

October 30, 2005, 06:41 PM	#7
spacemanspiff Senior Member Join Date: January 16, 2002 Location: alaska Posts: 3,498	leif, look at my immense girth. i WAS hiding 3 handguns (3oclock iwb, sob, drop thigh holster) and i had a 870 bungeed to the back of my balaclava (that way i dont lose my shotgun or my balaclava too easily). __________________ "Every man alone is sincere; at the entrance of a second person hypocrisy begins." - Ralph Waldo Emerson "People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use." - Soren Kierkegaard

October 30, 2005, 05:43 PM	#5
Leif Senior Member Join Date: April 12, 2005 Posts: 1,237	LOL! And I thought the "tacti-roll" was extra armor there ... Seriously, since you're so tactical, shouldn't you have three or four extra handguns attached to you ... and a NEF .308 slung across your back with all the ATI accessories on it!

October 30, 2005, 06:33 PM	#6
Avizpls Senior Member Join Date: November 9, 2004 Posts: 774	Psht! SO not tactical. I can still see some skin. And those arent anti-reflective glasses. I'd so spot you.

October 30, 2005, 06:42 PM	#8
Leif Senior Member Join Date: April 12, 2005 Posts: 1,237	I stand corrected, sir.

October 30, 2005, 06:54 PM	#9
stephen426 Senior Member Join Date: March 11, 2005 Posts: 3,840	Space, No offense but I suggest you lose some weight. You are much more likely to die of a heart attack than in any combat situation. Even if you do get into a combat situation, you are a much larger target (pun intended). Besides, you will not be as mobile or agile as someone in better physical shape. I am not poking fun at you or any overweight people. You have acknowledged that you have a weight problem... now do something about it before it kills you! Even if you don't have a heart attack, there are tons of problems that stem from obesity. Diabetes is one of the more common ones. Sides effects of that disease may include poor circulation, leading to wounds that don't heal nad possible loss of limbs from gangrene setting in. Diabetics can also get glaucoma and go blind. Thta would really hurt your shooting skills. Take care and go easy on the fast food. We like having you around on this forum! __________________ The ATF should be a convenience store instead of a government agency!

October 30, 2005, 07:00 PM	#10
Trip20 Senior Member Join Date: March 21, 2005 Posts: 2,181	My son left the house with this mother to go trick or treating a little while ago. He looked remarkably similar (minus the tacti-roll of course).

October 30, 2005, 08:33 PM	#11
mgdavis Senior Member Join Date: June 24, 2004 Location: Western Washington Posts: 397	Looks like a high tensile strength tacti-shirt Is that the WildAlaska shop in the background?

October 30, 2005, 08:33 PM	#12
StormTrooper Senior Member Join Date: October 7, 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 110	i think the point was to give us all a break of humor in our day, not audition for the next Biggest Loser. His weight, his choice. Thanks for the laugh

October 30, 2005, 10:04 PM	#15
Capt. Charlie Moderator Emeritus Join Date: March 24, 2005 Location: Steubenville, OH Posts: 4,446	What??? No Samurai sword (that's stamped, "made in Pakistan") slug over your back??? I note that WildAlaska has a spy window in his office, probably to keep you from goofing off! CaptyouneedtocrackthewhiponhimmoreWildCharlie __________________ TFL Members are ambassadors to the world for firearm owners. What kind of ambassador does *your* post make *you?* I train in earnest, to do the things that I pray in earnest, I'll never have to do. --Capt. Charlie

October 30, 2005, 10:30 PM	#16
USP45usp Junior member Join Date: May 17, 2000 Location: Eugene, OR Posts: 3,427	Spiffy, Thanks agan for a great Ninja pose. (btw, Wild, your shop is clean, I like that ). +10 on your ninjatude dude . Wayne

October 30, 2005, 11:13 PM	#17
Wildalaska Junior member Join Date: November 25, 2002 Location: In my own little weird world in Anchorage, Alaska Posts: 14,172	Just so you all know, we harass old Spiffy for being fat, but he is fat like a middle linebacker is fat know what i mean...Dude has moose shoulders and no neck Know if he wasnt goofin off, the shop would be cleaner WildscarysightAlaska

October 30, 2005, 11:24 PM	#18
SAXD9 Member Join Date: September 8, 2005 Location: NW North Carolina Posts: 85	It's the legendary "Great White Ninja!" Holy Shnikees! __________________ ~GhostDog~ Springfield Armory XD-9 Service Model/Winchester Ranger SXT 127gr +P+ JHP Beretta 21A .22LR/ CCI Quik-Shoks Norinco SKS/ Wolf 7.62x39 FMJ

October 31, 2005, 05:49 AM	#19
utaherrn Senior Member Join Date: March 16, 2005 Location: Happy Valley, USA Posts: 649	spiffy, you da man! Your ninjatude knows no bounds! I am in awe, sir! I take it some people have never heard of the "tactical fat" that we have discussed in the past. No need for body armor, baby! The phony katana would be a plus, as would a belt of MG ammo criss-crossed across your body.....the fact that you have no gun capable of firing the belted ammo on you is besides the point, we're talking ninjaness after all! AND A KNIFE! you have no knife. how can you have no knife? -3 ninja-points! Get thee hence and strap on several knives, big ones! big shiny ones! __________________ Bash 'em in the head, that seems to work out!

October 31, 2005, 05:59 AM	#20
EricN Member Join Date: October 1, 2004 Posts: 98	Spiff you da man...... Spiff, YOU DA MAN!!!!!! What no throwing stars??? ericn

October 31, 2005, 06:36 AM	#21
Sum1_Special Senior Member Join Date: May 21, 2005 Posts: 243	Haha, I love it! The image is forever burned into my memory. stephen426, I guess about every major thread has a Kill-joy... And, well, congratulations to you.

October 31, 2005, 07:09 AM	#22
VirgilCaine Senior Member Join Date: October 29, 2004 Location: Northern Michigan Posts: 419	I would go into the teeth of hell with you, Spiff. Hiding behind you, of course __________________ "Danger Itself Is The Best Remedy For Danger"

October 31, 2005, 10:26 AM	#23
Doug.38PR Junior member Join Date: January 18, 2005 Posts: 3,298	Yo Joe! It's Snake Eyes! http://www.myuselessknowledge.com/joe/snakes.html

October 31, 2005, 11:49 AM	#25
Paintballer Member Join Date: March 23, 2005 Posts: 58