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Old February 21, 2010, 03:12 AM   #1
BikerRN
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Spouse/Significant Other Compatability

Howdy all.

Despite the title, this is not a discussion about relationships.

Many of us that frequent the various forums have spouses and "significant others" that are competent with handguns, rifles and shotguns, but maybe don't favor them, or carry all the time.

Recently my wife decided she wanted a gun of her own and took her CCL Class. She tried a few calibers and platforms and "settled" on the Glock 19 that I own. It is now her's, and goes in her safe and not mine. This has given rise to a conumdrum of sorts and how best to solve it.

Since my wife favors the 9mm, and I like the forty in a Hi Power platform I have decided to get another Glock 19 and a Glock 26. That will be my "primary and BUG". The reason for this is, it is a gun/platform in a caliber she is comfortable with. I can hand it to her, and she already knows how to "work it". If she is not carrying her own gun that day I will rely on the BUG if I have to arm her. We can also share magazines and ammo if the situation ever came to that.

Has anyone else gone down this road? I see the practicality of this arrangement, but have yet to find any negatives beyond not getting to carry my "preferred" choice. If I decide to go with another caliber we would lose the ammo compatability, but the platform would remain the same, thus still retaining the "familiarity" for her.

Maybe over time her preferred platform will change, but for right now it is what it is. I think this may be something worthy of consideration by some of our members that are not mandated to carry a particular firearm, or maybe they can change what their mandated firearm is?

To me this strikes me as a common sense type of issue. I'm not trying to offend anyone by that statement, so please don't take it as such. The Husband and Wife could use more of a team approach to problem solving a situation by having weapon and ammo compatability IMHO.

Just my $0.02. Take care and stay safe. I look forward to what you all have to say on this, even if you don't agree.

Biker
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Old February 21, 2010, 11:13 AM   #2
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It sounds like a very logical course of action to me BikerRN.

Thanks for sharing.
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Old February 21, 2010, 11:14 AM   #3
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Thank me - the title needed a touch of editing.
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Old February 21, 2010, 12:28 PM   #4
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Well then, thank you too Glenn.

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Old February 21, 2010, 04:25 PM   #5
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Quote:
Has anyone else gone down this road?
No. I considered the number of gun fights where spouses had to lend each other a magazine. Outside of Bonnie and Clyde I could not think of many.

I carry a Glock in .40. The wife carries a small Kimber in .45. She is fully trained in how to shoot my gun and I am fully trained in hers. That is about as far as it goes. Think of it like you driving your car and she hers.
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Old February 21, 2010, 05:01 PM   #6
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My husband and I didn't go that route, mostly because I have unusually small hands and he has an unusually large ones. So his favorite guns are going to be a bit awkward for me at the best of times, and vice versa. Also, he favors semi-automatics and I prefer revolvers. In addition, we both carry any time we leave the house unless we are going somewhere together where guns are not allowed. So it is unlikely that either of us won't be carrying when a self-defense situation occurs, unless it happens at the airport or in a government building, where no non-police are allowed to carry.

We both shoot each other's guns regularly, however, so that, if a circumstance should arise where one of us needs to shoot the other's carry gun, we are familiar with it and can handle it. Self defense situations are often not ideal in any way, and having some flexibility and the ability to improvise is important.
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Old February 21, 2010, 05:17 PM   #7
Michael Anthony
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Carrying matching guns and a magazine-compatible backup does have obvious merits, but MTT TL hit on my opinion of it.

I think that the minuscule possibility of the two of you getting into an extended conflict together that requires these considerations is not worth you giving up your preferred weapon. It makes me think of the officers who cite their reason for carrying a Glock 27 as backup is that they can shove their Glock 22 magazines in it. Has this ever actually happened?

I believe you and your wife would be better served if you carried a weapon that draws and points naturally for you and has a trigger pull that you like.

This setup, however, would be suitable for the ubiquitous SHTF scenario. My inner paranoid-survivalist did just start his brain turning about four or five Glock 19s in my safe to "issue" in time of crisis.
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Old February 21, 2010, 06:37 PM   #8
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We didn't actually plan it that way, but when she finally got around to shooting one of my 1911s, she shot it pretty well. And more importantly, enjoyed it. Sooner or later she got one of her own, and has been shooting it almost exclusively ever since.

It's not a high priority or a big deal, as I also carry a revolver at times. But to the extent that it works, there is no downside to it.
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Old February 21, 2010, 10:24 PM   #9
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I did exactly this this very thing.

My wife likes smaller, lighter revolvers, and we were planning a trip. To match her 442, I bought a 640. She prefers a lighter recoiling load, so I bought four speed loaders, and stocked them with the same .38 SPL loads.

Before the trip I showed her my revolver, explained that both firearms utilized all cartridges and reloaders, and in a pinch, my revolver was identical in function as her favorite.

She was comfortable and secure with the arrangement, the subject was never an issue and we had a wonderful vacation.
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Old February 21, 2010, 10:45 PM   #10
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It's certainly a reasonable consideration, and there's no reason NOT to do it.

However, I'd say most couples don't share similar tastes for a CC piece, so magazine compatibility is a luxury most don't have even as an option.
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Old February 22, 2010, 02:33 PM   #11
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I love revolvers, but my wife does not prefer them. We have both agreed on the 1911 as a platform that fits our hands, points naturally, and is sufficiently reliable for our needs. As such, the idea is to buy a pair of 1911's in his n' her's configurations. Commonality of parts, mags, and training being the driving function here. However, good quality 1911's not being the cheapest thing on the block we'll make do with what we have until we've acquired what we want.
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Old February 22, 2010, 03:55 PM   #12
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Its a perfectly logical and acceptable thing to do; share platforms and calibers. Theres no significant reason not to, so long as you are both happy with them.

That said, I don't foresee myself going down that road. My lady friend prefers autos, particularly Glocks or Berettas in 9mm. I have always been a .45 man, but prefer to carry a revolver these days. I know she wouldn't carry a revolver, and the only glock I will buy from here on is a 10mm, or perhaps a second .45acp to accompany my 36. I just don't need to burden my ammo cabinet with yet another loading to stock, and I sure as hell am not giving up MY guns!
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Old February 22, 2010, 05:28 PM   #13
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Oh thank god...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Glenn E. Meyer
"Thank me - the title needed a touch of editing."
Appreciate that Glenn, because my spouse and my significant other are not at all compatible with one another...

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Old February 23, 2010, 01:38 AM   #14
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My spouse and significant other are very compatable.











OK, now that the fantasy is over, they are one and the same for me.

Biker
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Old February 24, 2010, 04:06 PM   #15
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She found something she likes (Glock 19 too) and I carried to match her choice, though I had been a 1911 guy prior. I didn't have a problem with switching, since I had more experience shooting. Though MTT TL makes a good point about the small likelihood of needing magazine compatibility, there are some other considerations I'd like to mention.

If one of you doesn't doesn't carry as frequently as the other, then both of you being familiar with one weapon system helps if someone gets injured -- you both are comfortable with it.

Breakages in general -- if one breaks, you have something to carry until the other is fixed (again, only applies if one of you carries predominantly, and the other doesn't). Also helps simplify the spare parts to have on hand, and consumables such as magazines and ammunition. And it can also help with accessories like mag pouches, lights/lasers and holsters.

If you both carry most of the time, you have a spare with you in the case of a breakage, which is especially useful if there is a significant difference in training between you -- whoever is better trained still has something to work with.
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Old February 24, 2010, 04:13 PM   #16
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I have two 45's and one 9mm. My wife has a 9mm - I never thought about carrying compatible ammo when I am with her. She HATES the feel and sound of a 45 when it goes boom, so she chose the 9mm. My 9mm lives by my bedside and I carry one of the 45's.

Her one 9mm is her carry gun and she keeps that in her glove box with a spare magazine (she never carries the gun in her purse except when I sneak it there, which annoys me but what can I do - if I get demanding she might not keep the gun at all).

But your situation is smart! I like that.
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Old February 25, 2010, 02:04 PM   #17
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The odds that most of us need compatibility for armed combat is pretty remote. Nonetheless, being familiar with each other's firearms is wise, and if you both use the same firearms it just keeps things a lot simpler. I have glock 17 and 19 and my gf uses the 19 when we shoot together. I just consider it easier than mixing calibers, and the manual of arms is the same. I think we all get too wrapped up in the mechanics of things and put too much emphasis on the weapons platforms and equipment. Any weapon that you can use competently should be adequate. I have 40s and 45s as well but my glock is the one I can use blindfolded, one handed, and half asleep. I am flexibile so I focus on being proficient with the firearm we both prefer vs. the one that I alone prefer.
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Old February 25, 2010, 02:30 PM   #18
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Although it is not a bad idea, I agree with the others and don't see the possibility of an extended firefight that would require the exchanging of mags. But if that is what works for you and your better half, then by all means go for it.

My (way better half), wife and I by like the 1911 platform, her cc is a Colt Defender, mine the Delta. We can both shoot each and every gun we own comfortably and shoot regularly, on our range, gongs, paper and trap, and hunt together.

So no, IMO I don't think there is a right or wrong way to go about arming your wife, gf, significant other or whatever, as long as they practice often with what they use, and are comfortable with it.
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Old February 25, 2010, 03:07 PM   #19
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(she never carries the gun in her purse except when I sneak it there...
Why in the world would you ever do that? If she doesn't know it's there, it's nothing more than a rabbit's foot (and about as useful). If she does know it's there, leaving it in the purse to humor you, but not committed to using it when necessary, it's just an extra weight for her to lug around -- and a dangerous extra weight at that since she has no commitment to using it if necessary and no mind to keep track of it as something important to her.

This is not just a respect thing -- though it is certainly that, if she is an adult but isn't being treated like one by the man she loves -- it also indicates a huge misunderstanding of the role of the firearm in personal protection. The gun is not a talisman or a lucky charm or an amulet intended to ward off danger by its mere existence. It is a tool designed to be used by someone committed to doing whatever it takes to save her own life.

The firearm is and can be a very effective weapon, in the hands of someone with the right mindset. In the hands of someone without that mindset, it is both a nuisance and a deadly menace. "Sneaking" a firearm into someone else's personal belongings, in hopes that the gun itself will protect them in the absence of their own desire to do so, shows a shamanistic attitude toward a simple tool, and a failed defensive mindset of one's own.

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Old February 25, 2010, 03:16 PM   #20
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I should have clarified - I ninja the gun into her purse when we are going out together. So in a restaurant, she will go to pay and see it in there and give me a look. If you think about it, I have to be in the car with her to sneak the gun from the glove box into her purse.

I am trying to get her to see that having it all the time is not a bad thing. I don't believe in her accidentally finding it and it being a sudden boon when she is in trouble. Also, I don't think she'd be afraid to use it if she had to, but obviously I can't answer that with certainty. But any time it IS in her purse, I am with her.
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Old February 25, 2010, 07:45 PM   #21
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We both carry 9mm

I carry a S&W Model 669 and she just bought a Walther PPS.
We will both carry an extra magazine once she has her CWL. For now I carry and she stands besides me. My pistol is too big for her hands to shoot comfortably, so we decided to have her find a pistol for herself. We spent hours and hours with the salesman going over nearly every 9mm in the store. Once she decided on the PPS as her carry pistol I knew she made a decision that she's 100% comfortable with, and she will carry 99% of the time she's away from home.

I have a .357 revolver and a XD-45 at home and she's very proficient using and shooting both of them. I have no worries when we're apart that she won't be able to defend herself.

IMHO, the best option is to have the "Other" in your life choose for themselves what they will use, but train them to use all of the guns (both handguns and long guns) in your possession. You'll sleep much better at night knowing they can defend themselves if the need arises.
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Old February 26, 2010, 09:06 PM   #22
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As far as same guns go, the wife and I each have Taurus 941UL's, G26's, G36's, Beretta 92FS she has the one made in Italy. This way no fighting and arguing over guns. I also have a 649 and she a 60-9
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Old March 8, 2010, 08:58 PM   #23
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we both carry the same style of gun..all xd's in same calibers
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Old March 8, 2010, 09:12 PM   #24
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Update on my wife's 9mm PPS

She spent the day at the range on Saturday with her best girlfriend and she did very well. After the first 6 shots which were way low her GF told her to relax and not to anticipate the shot. Seems she was overcompensating for the recoil before she would shoot. She got it fixed and was on paper the rest of the day.
Today is her birthday and she asked me to pay for her CWL courses as her present. How can I say no. We love to shoot and now we will both be carrying soon.
PAX -- She loves your Corneredcat website and reads it quite a bit. You really write well, so she can understand what you are saying and she understands the point you are getting across too. Thanks.
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Old March 10, 2010, 03:48 PM   #25
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Hey, MTT you forgot MR. and MRS. Smith. It makes sense, but if I have to rely on my spouses shooting abilities, I'm probably screwed. Don't get me wrong, I love the woman, but she's not much of a gun person. God help my pocket book if she was!
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