I almost shot someone.....

[skizzums]

.....and it was 100% avoidable and very immature on my part. It's dark, rainy and I am driving home on the expressway, expediently to say the least. A white Focus stationwagon, late 90's model, following me close blinking his brights, passes and then weaves around back behind me and flashed brights several more times. this goes on for like ten minutes, dude had to of flashed his brights at me fifteen times at least. I am getting a little agitated, I have been driving for two hours and I am almost home. I turn on my interior light so he can see me, and after my visually exaggerated signed profanities, I throw my arms up to say "hey, just get in front of me and stay there". I move over to the slow lane and let him do whatever he is doing. After not seeing him for a minute or so, he comes back cutting me off into the SLOW lane that I am in, okay I am angry now, I ride up on him and just keep my brights on. He gives me a kind gesture with one of his fingers and turns his mirror down.

My exit comes up, it is a two-lane exit that then splits off into small single lanes that loop around for a right-tun only lane into the mall(confusing, but just imagaine a small lane, with no shoulder because going up a steep hill and a sharp curve. At this point my brights are off, I can see we are going to the same place so I back off, I don't want him to think I am following him. Halfway around the bend, he turns his car to the left, then reverses slightly to block me. I am cattycornered to the right because I was going to attempt to just go around. I see him get, what seems obvious to be a gun, from the glove box and exits his vehicle. My thinking right now is, if I try to go around him he has a clear shot at my drivers side, so I have the car in reverse and my gun in my hand, safety off(my "car-gun" stays in the drivers door panel). He is walking towards me, flipping up his shirt, I guess to make it clear he is armed.

My window is down, one foot out of the car, other on the brake, gun in hand pointed at aggressor, propped on door. I say "If you come one step closer or grab at your waistband one more time, I am going to shoot you, I WILL do it". He sees that I have the advantage and I see his demeanor change instantly from aggressor to trembling fear. He stops and starts walking back, he was very close, less than ten feet, he says "your not the only one bro(pointing to his waistband". I say "okay, that's clear, can we not shoot each other please and go about our business?, keeps your hands clear and don't come closer, I swear to god your about to get shot!!!"

He says okay, I see his aggression drop and he is turning away, I point my pistol away from him. now that it is clear that neither of us want to shoot the other and he is back at his car. I say "what the hell were you following me around for, flashing me and cutting me off over and over?"(I know, doesn't seem like the time to converse, but our rage has diminished and we are back to being humans again at this point). His answer made my jaw drop, it made me understand just how stupid all this was and how much I should have just let it go. he says "we were both following the Porche, I was flashing you when it was cool for you to pass again, if you knew anything about SPEED-RACING you would have known that....." I said, "dude, I don't know what Porsche your talking about, and I don't know anything about speed-racing, I know I wanna get home after a long drive and I don't wanna shoot someone or vice-versa.....I apologize for turning my brights on, but you should understand that I didn't know we were teaming up to race through traffic, im way too old for that s%^&." he says "alright, cool" and gets in his car.

so freaking stupid, for both of us, although he was the aggressor that armed up and got out of the car after blocking me in. as far as I know, I could have shot the man and I would have had every right, despite the circumstances leading up to it. but lord knows it would have been the dumbest shooting I have ever heard of and I am glad tempers went down. I am not sure the intentions of the man as he exited the vehicle, since he was approaching me quickly and only the sight of my gun slowed him down. he apparently thought we were a gang of racers shooting down the highway in unison and looking out for each other and I just thought he was an idiot who was cutting me off and flashing his lights in my face. but this is as much my fault for not being a grown-up and further deteriorating the situation, I could have just slowed down and drove home, or I could have just taken the next exit, I could have backed far enough away that we didn't see each other again. But, I was angry and was doing an aggressive action by riding up on him with my brights on, it was stupid and i'll think back on this situation in the future. If it was a kid or even a younger person driving, I probably would have just shrugged it of, but he was in his late 30's as far as I could tell, that shouldn't matter but it made me mad that he seemed to be persuing me on the highway.

I NEVER want to shoot anyone, even if they're the scum of the earth, it's not my job. I want to give life and never want to take it, I let road-rage and immaturity get in the way of common sense and goodwill. I am not a generally angry driver, but apparently I need to make it where I am NEVER an angry driver, because one situation like this is one too many. Who knows what my future would be if I had decided to pull trigger, I was very close. I thought quickly about the situation while it was occurring and what I was doing. my thoughts were "he has a gun, HE blocked ME in, HE got out of his car with a gun. he is coming towards me, I CAN shoot if I need too...right? yes I can shoot, don't hesitate to shoot if you need to".....very stressful, million things zooming through my head at once. my hands are still shaky. in the end though, regardless of the previous events leading up, I am damned glad I had my gun. I will never do that again though, I have things to live for.

I have to add, after our incident, we both drove down the same road for some time, politely, even sitting SxS at a couple red-lights. I gave him a "peace-out" salute when I turned right, he waved back. funny how anger changes people in the moment and how fast a misunderstanding can lead to violence.

[leadcounsel]

Well, at least you didn't get into a firefight and you are mature enough to learn from the situation and move past it.

We've all experienced angry road agitation. It's a modern way of life. Late for something important, and nobody seems to drive with purpose. Or we feel we are minding our own business and are surprised by the angry person behind us.

Learn a technique to deal with both. In your situation for instance, if he was literally following you for 10 minutes flashing brights, why didn't you just let him pass? One technique is to let them pass, then after they pass an off ramp, quickly exit so they can't follow you.

NEVER give them opportunity to engage. Put vehicles and distance between you.

Here's what very likely could have happened. http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headline...rage-incident/

Robert Taylor, 56, and James Pullum, 43, were driving on a highway in Ionia, Mich., when Taylor began to closely follow Pullum, according to the Ionia Public Safety Department, based on witness reports.

Two adult men - old enough to be grand parents, and CCW holders, engaged in silly road rage and died shooting each other in a parking lot.

If, somehow, you were able to survive, you'd very easily be prosecuted with numerous felonies, spend easily $50,000 defending yourself. If convicted, you'd spend years doing hard time. Your life would be ruined with an acquittal, and irreparably ruined with a conviction.

Also, think of the devastation to your family, kids, parents, etc. Think of the collateral negativity on gun rights as one more negative story of a concealed carry shootout... There really is no way this ends good.

Now, is that really worth the trivial nonsense of a few inconveniences that in 24 hours you'll have long forgotten? I think not.

Learn from it. Teach your kids and others these lessons. And here is a REAL HONEST LEARNING POINT. WE ARE ALL RESPONSIBLE FOR ROAD RAGE. Yes, you. The person who doesn't use his turn signal. You. The person that drives slow in the passing lane, with 20 cars on your bumper while you stubbornly refuse to move over. You. The tail-gator. If we all just drove with a bit more consideration for those around us, and used our blinkers, and merged over, and drove the speed limit, then we can all contribute to reducing road rage. Slow and inconsiderate drivers are just as responsible as fast and reckless drivers.

[Shadi Khalil]

The road brings out the worst in everyone. When I am armed and driving, I have myself in check but its not easy when someone is endangering your life and agitating you. Glad no one got hurt.

[Brit]

My vehicle belongs to me, it is a marked Security Jeep, my Sons Company markings, I used to fill in on shifts, no longer do that.

Do not have any of the flashing lights, sitting on my tail incidents.

Panhandler's bypass me at lights.

The good thing is this, all the reflective tape does a great job of other drivers seeing me at night!

I will be 80 YOA in October, with age comes wisdom? Or just not to many things seem worth getting upset about?

[TailGator]

Both of you had some opportunities to de-escalate that you didn't take, but blockading the road was a very hostile thing for him to do. I'm glad that it came out OK, and it did largely because you were able to regain some wits and find a way out of a sticky situation without shooting.

And FWIW, I have no idea what speed-racing is either.

[g.willikers]

Obviously the guy has been playing way too many video games and got confused between fantasy and reality.
And carrying a gun.
Geeze, they're out there.
Guess you handled it ok, 'cause you're still here to tell the tale.

I will be 80 YOA in October, with age comes wisdom? Or just not too many things seem worth getting upset about?

Naw, it's just that with age comes being too tired to get excited.

[weblance]

What kind of a moron tucks a gun in his waistband, then decides to go street racing in an old station wagon? Brilliant

[Koda94]

im not certain I belive the guys "speed racing" excuse...

Skizzums, did you report this to the police?

[stephen426]

Glad it all worked out. I've had my own (not so proud) moments when I was younger and dumber. I've learned not to let a few seconds of my life cost me years of my life, or even cost me my life. Miami was rated the worst road rage in Miami. Cooler heads often prevail and controlling your ego will help you avoid most confrontations. I've had a few situations where I ticked off a few drivers but a simple wave (sorry, mea culpa) quickly lowers tensions.

[Sevens]

I definitely see a laundry list of things you did that were very much in error, but all of it pales in comparison to the other guy and all of his antics.

FWIW, I had been a hardcore hobbyist handgun owner, shooter and handloader for 20 years before I ever got a license to carry and I am 100% certain that my driving (specifically) and situations even remotely like the one you described simply ceased to exist probably 6-12 months after I started leaving the house every day while armed.

We often talk about the tremendous responsibility that we have to -AVOID- conflict while armed, but getting a little time under my belt showed me that I definitely had maturity to gain and I did. My bottom line & point is that I simply do not get sucked in to road rage nonsense anymore. Does not happen. And the simple reason I tell myself is that my children are far, far too young to have a Dad in jail or dead.

At it's root... each of you was trying to "get the last word" in your comically stupid altercation. Your best move from the very start was to let him get the last word the very first time he demanded it.

Glad it ended amicably. We can only hope that the other guy took as much positive away from it as you obviously have. (hard to imagine that he did, though...)

[g.willikers]

On the other hand, there can be satisfaction in seeing someone who had been trying to run you off the road screw up and go sailing off into the wild blue yonder, instead.
Self induced, of course.
Just a thought.

[Tactical Jackalope]

Miami was rated the worst road rage in Miami. Cooler heads often prevail and controlling your ego will help you avoid most confrontations. I've had a few situations where I ticked off a few drivers but a simple wave (sorry, mea culpa) quickly lowers tensions.

Tell me about it. I was born here and I'm still here.

What you read about the road rage here is all too real.
So annoying..People put their pride in their cars, themselves, their way of driving, their lane, their speed....etc.

Glad you're okay OP. That blocking the road stunt he did was insane.

[leadcounsel]

I'm sure we can all speak to it, but it's worth reminding:

We have NO IDEA of the person/people in the other car. Unstable and mentally ill and hotly irrational people are frankly quite common. It's best to avoid them at all costs.

In my profession, and personal life, I've encountered a wide number of these people. It's just best to avoid them. Step number one to not be a victim of such nonsense is to not be there and step two is to extract yourself. Fate will catch up with them later down the road.

While not road rage related, it does related to dangerous driving. In one instance, during an icy storm in Indiana when safe speeds on the interstate were under 35mph, and ideally probably around 25mph, a sporty car FLEW past me probably 60mph. Everyone just let this moron pass. Within a few miles ahead we saw his destroyed car off the road. Just last month I was on the interstate and a man on a motorcycle FLEW past me, probably double my 60mph speed, weaving through 4 lanes of interstate traffic. About 10 minutes later I saw a police car and parked in front was his bike. He was standing in handcuffs as the police officer was apparently reading him his rights.

Bad drivers tend to weed themselves out. I try to spend as little time on the road as possible, and when I see a bad driver, I create distance because I don't want to be there when their bad luck strikes.

[Mike38]

...did you report this to the police?

I would have called Police around the second or third time the guy flashed his lights behind me.

[stephen426]

Originally Posted by Constantine

Tell me about it. I was born here and I'm still here.

Haha... You and me both! I'm not sure why everyone is so shocked that there are actually people FROM Miami. lol

[Aguila Blanca]

Other than your not doing enough to de-escalate the situation early on (turning on your interior lights and flipping him off does not count as de-escalation), I don't think you were stupid. I do think he was incredibly stupid. What the heck is "speed racing," and why would someone assume that a strange driver on the highway would know "anything" about it?

IMHO Mr. Speed Racer is lucky he didn't get himself shot. Whatever his intentions, his actions were those of an aggressor. As I keep trying to get through to my daughter, actions have consequences. Life is not a game.

[Model12Win]

I solve my road rage with lucid daydreaming fantasies.

I like to imagine a few AC-47 Spooky gunships flying overhead, pouring thousands of rounds of 7.62mm minigun fire into the cars in front of me, granting me safe passage during a traffic jam.

Well we can all dream right?

[745SW]

I think being older has it's advantages. You've made it this far and must be doing something right.

[Pond, James Pond]

When things went sour you handled it well. Ready for the worst, but working toward an outcome neither would regret.

As you've already assessed for yourself, I think the error was not mentally and physically disengaging from the situation early on by slowing right down, waving him passed or just leaving the freeway altogether. That said, though, we're all human. We get tired, we bottle up the day's frustrations and we can therefore get wound up and make choices that in hindsight are clearly unwise.

It seems you've accepted that already and, as I said, when the chips were down you ego/tiredness/frustrations did NOT interfere with reading and managing the situation with a cool head. So don't be overly hard on yourself.

Frankly, I'm impressed you've even shared it. Many would not dare for fear of losing face or would continue to see the situation was entirely the other guy's making, never once thinking they could learn from the experience. Good for you.

[full case load]

Years ago under different but just as dumb circumstances, (probably dumber), I almost shot someone too. I am very glad I did not. It scared the hell outta me but it taught me, that if required, I could and would.

[BlueTrain]

One way to avoid road rage is to have excruciatingly good manners. But anyone knows how rare such things are. I see an abundance of drivers who seem to think the speed limits do not apply to them and in any case, are set at an artificially low limit and could not possibly be obeyed.

I used to think of driving as a sort of Grand Prix but now I think it's more like Roller Derby.

[Tactical Jackalope]

They say defensive driving is key. But where I'm from you react defensively and the other person gets mad at you doing so and the antics ensue.

Example. You're in your lane. And someone is changing lanes into you. You lay on the horn and brake so they don't cause an accident. They jerk back into their lane. Then they'll either step on it and cut you off, give you the finger, at the next light put down their window and start screaming and cussing at you, or flip a switch where they cut off everyone and their mother just to get far away from you. It's never ending...

[BlueTrain]

Well, there you go! You never blow your horn at another driver. It just isn't done! The horn is for getting the attention of girls. Flashing lights (not mentioned in the driver's manual) is to be reserved for signaling other cars of the same make, assuming you drive a relatively unusual car, like a Morgan or a Bristol or a Desoto or maybe even an Olds.

The basic aim, besides reaching home at night, is to avoid getting in a fight. I realize that threatening someone can be efficient but it sometimes results in making someone afraid of you. My father once told me that someone who is afraid of you is the person who will kill you.

I'm not saying I don't get mad at people now and then.

[Stevie-Ray]

Please tell me after all this, you weren't driving a Prius. I mean after all, the other guy was in a Focus wagon.

And as far knowing about speed racing, It simply reminded me of an old Japanese cartoon, back when I was a kid.

[skizzums]

almost as bad brother. I was driving my wife's 2014 Ford Fiesta Hatchback, nice car and fairly new, but a "speed-racer" it is not, I have to turn off the air conditioning to get up to the speed limit on a long hill. we bought it for the 40MPG, not the drift racing cup.......

as to the previous question....no, I didn't call the police. I have called the police twice in my life and they always know how to make things worse for me. this disagreement was settled, no one was harmed and no property was destroyed, the police can go find money from someone else.