Overcoming mental aversion - Page 2

wayneinFL · August 17, 2012, 05:03 PM

Quote:

I encouraged a friend to purchase a gun to hunt with, He later used it on himself.

Ouch.

I talked a friend through a purchase on a 20 gauge, advised him on what to buy, etc. A few years later, he shot himself with it. The kid was about my little brother's age.

He had all kinds of problems, never was real well adjusted. It was sad, but it was something that he was going to do eventually, either by literal suicide, or something else- a car wreck, a drug overdose, a fight. When I got the call, I wasn't surprised.

FrosSsT · August 17, 2012, 10:23 PM

Never had someone close commit suicide - but I was in a bad car accident, and afterwords I was afraid to drive. I think that it is natural to temporarily feel nervous around the tool or thing that helped cause a moment of great pain in our lives. Time heals all.

Salmoneye · August 18, 2012, 05:28 AM

Quote:

Years ago, my best friend committed suicide with a Ruger Blackhawk revolver in .357Magnum. I was a pallbearer at his funeral, and it was a tough time for me. I guess I was lucky to come to understand at least a large part of why he did what he did, what he was going through at the time, and to realize that how he committed suicide was totally unimportant--the issue was why.

I think that at some level, we all find within ourselves a desire to shift the focus or blame away from where it belongs to avoid having to deal with the real issues involved. It was ultimately a decision HE made and carried out. The gun he used to accomplish his purpose was just a tool and didn't do anything other than function as it was designed to do.

I'm sorry for your loss.

I have nothing I could possibly add to that...

BlueTrain · August 18, 2012, 09:46 AM

The only thing I could add here is that nobody will kill themselves intentionally just because there happens to be a gun in the house. No one kills themselves without a reason. Unfortunately, I thnk it cannot be denied that a gun just might make it easier. While I've known a few who did shoot themselves, it seems like I've reaad of just as many who found another way.

BurgerBoy · August 18, 2012, 05:53 PM

I'm sorry to hear about your loss.

geetarman · August 18, 2012, 09:12 PM

Please accept my condolences on your loss.

I really am at a loss for words to respond.

InigoMontoya · October 21, 2012, 09:04 PM

UPDATE:

This weekend was the season opener for quail. Myself and a few coworkers went on a camping/hunting trip. Had a blast. Didn't get any birds (drought has really taken it's toll!), but had a lot of fun.

The "best" part (if that word applies) was that I was an hour into the hunt the first time I thought about my dad. I was tired from walking so I sat down on a rock to rest and it hit me... There I was, comfortably sitting down with a shotgun in my lap... The last pose my father struck. I thought about how easy it would be to do it myself.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not suicidal or depressed. When I say "how easy it would be" I'm referencing the physical act, not expressing any sort of desire.

So sitting on the rock was a decidedly sobering buzzkill moment but after I got back up and started walking again I was back in the game.

In summary: The scars are obviously still there, but the mental aversion has been overcome.

On a side note: A few weeks ago I bought a (replica) Remmington Model 1858. I'd never fired cap and ball before and the purchase was an impulse buy. But I brought it along as something to play with in camp... Great fun!

RamItOne · October 21, 2012, 09:15 PM

Congrats.

**Tom Servo** · October 21, 2012, 09:29 PM

Quote:

The scars are obviously still there, but the mental aversion has been overcome.

That's a start. Dealing with grief isn't a destination; it's a journey.

CWKahrFan · October 21, 2012, 10:19 PM

Good news... Thanks for telling... We're with you.

Salmoneye · October 22, 2012, 05:26 AM

I understand the feeling that you had on that rock...

I'm glad you walked away...

Scouse · October 22, 2012, 04:00 PM

Sorry for your loss. You are clearly a strong fellow.
All the best to you and yours.

Sparks1957 · October 22, 2012, 05:28 PM

Quote:

I understand the feeling that you had on that rock...

I understand too, and I'm glad you're still here with us. All my best.

InigoMontoya · October 23, 2012, 11:08 PM

I just reread this thread...

In my original post I mention the smell. As I sit here, I can't remember the smell. Am I doing better because I'm blocking things out, or is this simply time making memories fuzzy (as it is prone to doing)?

**JohnKSa** · October 23, 2012, 11:51 PM

People are supposed to forget and memories are supposed to fade with time. That's normal. It keeps us sane.

rebs · October 24, 2012, 03:59 AM

My condolences to you and your family. I pray you continue to move forward.

August 18, 2012, 09:46 AM	#29
BlueTrain Senior Member Join Date: September 26, 2005 Location: Northern Virginia Posts: 6,141	The only thing I could add here is that nobody will kill themselves intentionally just because there happens to be a gun in the house. No one kills themselves without a reason. Unfortunately, I thnk it cannot be denied that a gun just might make it easier. While I've known a few who did shoot themselves, it seems like I've reaad of just as many who found another way. __________________ Shoot low, sheriff. They're riding Shetlands! Underneath the starry flag, civilize 'em with a Krag, and return us to our own beloved homes! Buy War Bonds.

August 18, 2012, 05:53 PM	#30
BurgerBoy Member Join Date: August 11, 2012 Location: Western Kentucky Posts: 62	I'm sorry to hear about your loss. __________________ Vietnam Veteran - 1966-1970 USASA Carry Pistol - Glock Gen 3 23, .40 Caliber. Carry Pistol - Glock Gen 3 19, 9mm. Self Defense Stories

August 18, 2012, 09:12 PM	#31
geetarman Senior Member Join Date: November 18, 2009 Location: Arizona Posts: 3,157	Please accept my condolences on your loss. I really am at a loss for words to respond. __________________ Geetarman Carpe Cerveza

October 21, 2012, 10:19 PM	#35
CWKahrFan Senior Member Join Date: November 3, 2010 Posts: 2,016	Good news... Thanks for telling... We're with you. __________________ What did Mrs. Bullet say to Mr. Bullet? ... "We're having a BeeBee!"... IF THE SHOE FITS, WEAR IT!... IF THE GUN FITS, SHOOT IT! "Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it."

October 23, 2012, 11:51 PM	#40
JohnKSa Staff Join Date: February 12, 2001 Location: DFW Area Posts: 24,972	People are supposed to forget and memories are supposed to fade with time. That's normal. It keeps us sane. __________________ Do you know about the TEXAS State Rifle Association?

August 17, 2012, 10:23 PM	#27
FrosSsT Senior Member Join Date: July 17, 2011 Location: NJ Posts: 595	Never had someone close commit suicide - but I was in a bad car accident, and afterwords I was afraid to drive. I think that it is natural to temporarily feel nervous around the tool or thing that helped cause a moment of great pain in our lives. Time heals all.

October 21, 2012, 09:04 PM	#32
InigoMontoya Senior Member Join Date: January 14, 2007 Location: Ridgecrest, CA Posts: 229	UPDATE: This weekend was the season opener for quail. Myself and a few coworkers went on a camping/hunting trip. Had a blast. Didn't get any birds (drought has really taken it's toll!), but had a lot of fun. The "best" part (if that word applies) was that I was an hour into the hunt the first time I thought about my dad. I was tired from walking so I sat down on a rock to rest and it hit me... There I was, comfortably sitting down with a shotgun in my lap... The last pose my father struck. I thought about how easy it would be to do it myself. Don't get me wrong, I'm not suicidal or depressed. When I say "how easy it would be" I'm referencing the physical act, not expressing any sort of desire. So sitting on the rock was a decidedly sobering buzzkill moment but after I got back up and started walking again I was back in the game. In summary: The scars are obviously still there, but the mental aversion has been overcome. On a side note: A few weeks ago I bought a (replica) Remmington Model 1858. I'd never fired cap and ball before and the purchase was an impulse buy. But I brought it along as something to play with in camp... Great fun!

October 21, 2012, 09:15 PM	#33
RamItOne Senior Member Join Date: May 24, 2011 Posts: 990	Congrats.

October 22, 2012, 05:26 AM	#36
Salmoneye Senior Member Join Date: December 31, 2011 Location: Vermont Posts: 2,076	I understand the feeling that you had on that rock... I'm glad you walked away...

October 22, 2012, 04:00 PM	#37
Scouse Senior Member Join Date: June 9, 2011 Posts: 133	Sorry for your loss. You are clearly a strong fellow. All the best to you and yours.

October 23, 2012, 11:08 PM	#39
InigoMontoya Senior Member Join Date: January 14, 2007 Location: Ridgecrest, CA Posts: 229	I just reread this thread... In my original post I mention the smell. As I sit here, I can't remember the smell. Am I doing better because I'm blocking things out, or is this simply time making memories fuzzy (as it is prone to doing)?

October 24, 2012, 03:59 AM	#41
rebs Senior Member Join Date: January 10, 2012 Posts: 3,881	My condolences to you and your family. I pray you continue to move forward.