Forget Carrying a Gun, My Wife Won't Even Carry Pepper Spray!

[Mastrogiacomo]

Unfortunately, some people can only learn the hard way, assuming they live to move beyond it. I would think just watching the crime programs liked "Disappeared," "Joe McKenna" or reading Ann Rule's "The Stranger Beside Me" to get how quickly bad things will happen...and how easily. People are always surprised that I study martial arts. It's odd isn't it? No one says of a bear, "don't worry, it's female." Every female creature of the wild knows to fight and must to survive. Only human females think it's more feminine to be a victim than to fight back. Not to be negative but I don't see her changing. If being there for her children isn't worth it for her to defend herself, nothing will change her mind until something bad happens. Not what you wanted to hear, but it's true.

Laura

[Hiker 1]

Mastrogiacomo is 100% spot on. There are also men who fall into this mentality.

Wolves, sheep and sheepdogs, I suppose.

[Light256]

if she's part of medical field (doctor/nurse) could it possibly be the Hippocratic Oath? to do no harm? that may have her second guessing herself. just a thought...

[Rifleman1776]

She lives with you and presumably knows your views and opinions on the subject. But, some people can just never bring themselves to inflict injury on another human under any circumstances. Until/unless she is willing to make "THE DECISION" there is nothing you can do to convince her to carry. Logic doesn't apply. It is a human condition.

[Ryu825]

She's not my wife but a girl I used to talk to said she couldn't carry a gun cause if she were ever in a situation where she needed it she'd freeze and be killed by her own weapon. Upon hearing that I thought maybe shed do the same with other difficult situations including nonviolent ones and it seemed to show in all of her personal decisions and issues so I just stopped talking to her. Not saying anything about anyone's wife, just sharing my short experience with a girl who has no fight in her.

[Pyzon]

walks to her car after dark to an off-site underground parking garage in a neighborhood frequented by drug addicts and the like, she's been threatened by patients more than once (she's a surgical resident)

Does the facility she works at offer security escorts for employees (male and female) that have to walk to a car in the dark in a tough neighborhood ?

If so, does she ask for the service ?

How about working in a more safe facility ?

Nobody can be forced to take responsibility for something not of interest.

I sure hope she stays safe though.

[manta49]

I don't know any women that carry anything here for self defence. My wife doesn't carry anything and I have no concerns. Bad thing can happen but the odds very small.

[Theohazard]

Originally Posted by Pyzon

Does the facility she works at offer security escorts for employees (male and female) that have to walk to a car in the dark in a tough neighborhood ?

I haven't asked her yet (I've already annoyed her to the point of being counter-productive.) I'm sure a security guard or a colleague would be happy to walk her to her car, but I'm also sure she would never want to inconvenience someone so she'd never ask. And me getting involved with the hospital would just make her angry and even less likely to listen to me.

Originally Posted by Pyzon

How about working in a more safe facility ?

Unfortunately that's not an option. She's in her surgery residency for three more years and she only works at two different hospitals. If a doctor quits a surgery residency it's pretty much a career-killer.

Originally Posted by Wyosmith

Theo, my sister was exactly the same way back in 1973.
I tried and tried to get her to take my advice seriously. No go!
She and I got along great, but I was a Marine and she was a nurse and she kept telling me “this isn’t a combat zone”. Everything is fine.

Well a few months later while on a road trip she and her friend were attacked. I had thrown my old Ruger 44 into their car with them before they left. My sis objected but I just got a bit forceful and she relented and allowed it to come along. 8 days later she and her friend were cornered by 2 men who broke the window of the little Dodge Colt they were driving and grabbed her friend, trying to drag her through the window.

My sister then remembered the 44 and was able to get it off the floor behind the driver seat. It is just lucky she was able to get the Ruger before she too was grabbed. When she brought up the handgun and pointed it at the man holding her friend he froze. He let her friend go and my Sister chased them off. No one was hurt badly and no one killed, but that was the moment the light came on for them both. It was the beginning of the end of her "liberal Hippie" period.

Ever since then my sister is a pistol packing lady. She has even turned down a job once when they told her she couldn't pack. She later got the exact same job in the same place when they decided she could keep her gun in her purse. (about 2 years later)

The reason for the story is simple.

Sad as it may be, the only thing that is likely to change your wife’s outlook on personal defense is to survive an attack, or be close enough to one that responding to violence with the use of counter-violence is no long just a theory.

When someone is primarily motivated my emotion no amount of logic or reason will make any difference at all. This is a very sad fact about human kind, but it is none the less a fact.
I would be praying to the Holy God that she either never has to be involved, or that she is not harmed when it happens the first time. But God is the only answer to this potential problem you have at this time.

May He give you wisdom.

Wyosmith, I think you and the others are right; it might take something bad happening for her to change her mind. If it does, I hope it ends well for all involved, just like what happened to your sister. Semper Fi, my friend.

[orionengnr]

Tell her you have decided to cancel your car, life, medical and homeowner's insurance.
Then take down the smoke detectors and the fire extinguisher and put them in the trash.
Cut the seatbelts out of your car, disable the airbags and throw away the kid's car-seat.
While you're at it, give away the dog and remove the locks from your front and back doors.

Think she'll get the message then?

[Glenn E. Meyer]

We are starting to go in circles.

If a person has a personality constellation such that active self-defense does not appeal to them and your hopefully rational arguments do not change that view - there is little to be done.

If emotional horror stories of crime don't worth either - there's really nothing left.

That it, folks?

[Willie Lowman]

there's really nothing left.

That it, folks?

Yeah. That's it. What else is there to do? Have an intervention and show her pictures of people that have been brutally attacked?

You forget to lock the thread when you left, Glenn?

[pax]

If you expect your [wife, girlfriend, significant other, lover, friend, husband, boyfriend, partner] to respect your choices about carrying a gun and protecting yourself, then you must respect their choices about same.

pax