Break Ins in my neighborhood

[TheNocturnus]

Hey folks. It's been awhile since I have been on here. There have been a rash of burglaries in my neighborhood the past month or so. Several cars and garages have been broken into and stuff has been stolen. Someone even stole a 9mm handgun out of someones car.

Now none of these has involved armed robbery or any violence but I am afraid it may come to that eventually. Because of this I have finally convinced my wife that she needs a gun of her own at the house while I am at work.

We plan on going to a LGS soon to pick one out for her. My question is after she finds the right gun for her, do you think I should push harder and ask her to carry it on her person at home when I am not there and maybe even get a ccw permit like I have? What would you do? Thanks!

[BarryLee]

First off I think it’s good that you’re concerned about your family’s safety. Also, keep in mind that most burglaries happen to unoccupied homes, so the likelihood of someone breaking into the house while your wife is there alone is low. However, this doesn’t mean you and your wife shouldn’t take some reasonable precautions like upgrading locks/doors, installing an alarm, securing all valuables inside the home, modifying landscaping to reduce cover, etc. As for her carrying a gun during the day this is fine, but I wouldn’t try to force her to do it if she wasn’t comfortable. I agree that her obtaining a permit is probably a good idea and also make sure she practices/trains to feel comfortable with the gun.

[FireForged]

I have always believed that each individual has to come to their own terms, their own way in regards to violence, conflict and what they are willing to do. Talking and fostering the idea of self defense is typically helpful but I would not "push" somebody into a course of action that they are not emotionally/psychologically invested in.

When my wife wanted a gun, I helped her pick it out. I offered advice about ammo and took her to the range myself. We have trained many hours and she says that she feels good about having a gun of her own. She keeps it handy in the home but never carries it. That is the extent of her current willingness and I plan to leave the subject alone until she bring something up.

[kilimanjaro]

She should get the carry permit just to keep her from leaving the pistol at home when she goes out. Burglars love stealing pistols, it's the easiest $50 they can make, outside of the prescription medicines in your cabinet.

[TheNocturnus]

All wonderful ideas guys. Thanks for the input.

[Arizona Fusilier]

Indeed, OP, I heartily applaud your due diligence in this matter. However, I do have to agree with FireForged, "pushing" the issue is potentially counter-productive and perhaps dangerous.

You have made progress, take it slow and methodical. These are weighty lifestyle choices.

[Dabull]

These points don't directly address your question, but I have found them to be useful considerations when advising someone on a comprehensive response to this sort of problem.

1. Make sure the gun is really right for her, even if it is not what you would want or even what you would want her to have. Give good advice, but let her pick her gun, otherwise it will sit in a shoebox or safe unused.

2. I've known some women who buy a gun, learn to shoot, but don't quite make the leap to thinking about using it on a person vs. a paper target. One woman said she just wanted to be able to scare someone off if they were threatening her. I asked what she would do if they went for the kids room. She immediately made the leap--"I would shoot him dead." She then realized she wanted to be around to protect her kids, and that could mean taking direct action rather than firing a warning shot.

3. Don't forget to harden your house. You don't have to get an alarm or a dog if you don't want to, just make the house look like someone is in it at all times and put some decent lights on at night. Maybe a dog's water bowl on the patio. If you are the only house on the block that looks unoccupied during the day, then you are the smash and grab house of the day. If you are the only dark house at night, you are the at the top of the break in list.

4. Talk to your neighbors about the problem. They may be unaware. If you sensitize them, they may be more vigilant to suspicious activity and call 911 if they hear a scream or shot.

I've had someone attempt to break into my house in the dark of night. While the psychological effects (where you stop thinking of your own house as a 100% safe place) are not as severe as those faced by a victim of a violent crime, it took me a couple of years before I could sleep through normal house noises again. Best to avoid this if you can.

[Evan Thomas]

You and she need to read pretty much everything on our own Kathy Jackson's (Pax) website, The Cornered Cat. It will answer any question you have and many you haven't even thought of -- it's the best advice available, and it's free.

For example, do you have kids, or plan to? If so, how do you plan to secure a handgun from them and still have it accessible? Hint: there's exactly one place where your wife will always have control of it.

[Tinbucket]

The word usually or rarely and so on can cause grief.
Wife was home alone, once when someone cam in the house through kitchen door.
Evidently they though no one was there as when she called out they ran out the door. She didn't get a look at them.
We had a home invasion, in the middle of the night about 1977. It so shook my wife and me she only remembers on one or two occasions.
My little Daughter cried for a long time for her Mother to sleep with her afterwards.
I had a gun...too far under the bed to reach.
I remember all too well.
We didn't call the Sheriff because we refused to believe it happened. It was bad dream until wife finally said I kinda remember.
When we get older we become easier targets and Criminals like easy targets.
First line of defense.
Our Family Dog stays inside, most of the time. First dog we've ever had inside.
Anyone tries to get in or even get's close to the house, he will wake the dead and if they should get in they will get chewed on.
However someone determined to break in might just kill a dog and come on in. Still would give us some warning. We might wake up enough to use firearms close at hand.
That is one note I missed when we had the home invasion. It is hard to come out of a deep sleep. If I had been alert it would have been different.
Thus our Family Dog stay ins side now.
Rural Families always had a Family dog or dogs and when they were at home pretty safe.
We've already experienced two coming to our door trying to get information for a later visit.
So we have a house sitter.

[psalm7]

I have talked to more than one officer that says the worst crime scenes they have worked are Home invasions gone wrong .
Iv always thought a firearm for self defence should be , if they are a shooter and pick up on it well let them pick out thier own . If its someone that is not a shooter and just wants something just in case I would sugest a double action revolver , less likely to have a accidental discharge , not likely to have to clear a jam , back the hammer for a better trigger pull .

[pax]

There have been a rash of burglaries in my neighborhood the past month or so. Several cars and garages have been broken into and stuff has been stolen. Someone even stole a 9mm handgun out of someones car.

TheNocturnus,

You're asking the right questions, and that's excellent. Sorry you have to go through this, though.

Best advice to begin with: harden your house. The gun is a last-ditch, we're-out-of-other-options defense -- and it's better to never have to use it if that's at all possible.

If it's not possible, and you do have to use it, you want the peace of mind that comes with knowing you did everything within your reasonable power to avoid having to kill someone. That knowledge makes the aftermath slightly less painful for most survivors, I've been told.

In addition to (don't put this off!) improving the locks on your doors and improving the security of your windows, you'll want to take a serious look at the outside of your house from the perspective of someone looking to break in. Do you have exterior lighting, or are there dark shadows that would help conceal someone from casual view? Is your front porch/front door visible from the street, or obscured by foliage? Some of those things you may not be able to change, but in cases where you can make the doors more visible, the lighting brighter, etc -- you'll want to do it.

Take a look, too, at your family's habits as they relate to your home security. Do you park your car in the garage? If so, how long does the door typically remain open after you enter? Do you, by habit, wait for the door to finish closing before getting out of the car? Or do you generally hop right out and rarely look around before you do?

Ditto if you usually park on the street. Do you usually take just a brief moment to look at your house before you get out of the car? Or are you usually so focused on other things that it's unusual when you do look? A small change of habit there might help you avoid trouble if it comes while you're away.

Who answers the door at your house when there's a knock or the doorbell rings? Do you have children who race each other to door and slam it open excitedly?

Does your door have a viewport? Do you use it, by habit, every time before you open the door? Does your wife?

Does your door have a deadbolt, a good one? Do you use it, by habit, every time you shut the door behind you when you arrive home? Or does it only get set at bedtime... if then?

Lots of other potential things to look at there, and that's going to be your highest value, lowest investment type of changes.

Now none of these has involved armed robbery or any violence but I am afraid it may come to that eventually. Because of this I have finally convinced my wife that she needs a gun of her own at the house while I am at work.

Smart. Good for her.

If you're willing to do it, I would strongly suggest professional firearms training for both you and your wife. That will set her mind at ease as a new gun owner, and perhaps give you some improved peace of mind as you mentally prepare to protect your family from danger.

You can start with the "this is the end the bullets come out" stuff from a national franchise, but it's probably better if you find a good local school and build your foundations based on self defense from the ground up.

We plan on going to a LGS soon to pick one out for her. My question is after she finds the right gun for her, do you think I should push harder and ask her to carry it on her person at home when I am not there and maybe even get a ccw permit like I have? What would you do? Thanks!

It can't hurt to ask. Of course you're aware that you can't command or insist, and that pushing too hard can backfire!

The ccw permit would be an excellent precaution for her, and you can probably sell it to her as such. Having the permit doesn't mean she has to carry the gun, but if she doesn't have the permit, she can't carry the gun if she changes her mind or if something happens that escalates her sense of danger. In that sense, getting the permit is surprisingly cheap insurance.

Good luck to both of you. Please let her know, from me, that we'd love to see her on TFL one of these days.

pax

[stagpanther]

I lived in an area with a very high violent crime rate--saw plenty of break-ins and shootings.

The kinda good news is if there have been LOTS of break-ins, they are probably well-organized and have established surveillance in order to facilitate low-risk quick hits. The bad news is that if an organized gang is involved, they might not be adverse to a violent confrontation if it happens. Your local LE should be a good source of info on crime profiles. Lots of break-ins can also be an indicator of drug activity in the area as well.

Robbers like to hit places with predictable non-occupancy--or easy targets to subdue. Dog is a great idea--probably a better deterrent than a gun. Neighborhood watch/patrols--coordinated with LE--if it all possible are a good idea--especially during the day when most people are at work. One thing I learned is be very careful who you let into your house--not just big bad guys but even children can be passing intel to the bad guys--there's a good reason that robbers quickly head for the big screen video game set-ups--they often know what and where their targeted booty is and that if they are in and out fast the chances of getting caught go down dramatically, even if a home security alarm sounds.

Study your house and be aware of potential ambush points or concealed break-in points--same is true for neighborhood walk areas. Side windows and back doors are favorite entry points that I saw.

Lastly, things are just things and are replaceable--lives aren't.

[TailGator]

Lots of good advice has been given regarding hardening your home against burglars and how your actions and habits affect security.

Regarding the firearms aspects of your questions: It is a valid point that whatever pistol she picks is going to be most available if it is on her. She should understand that retrieving a pistol from a drawer or cabinet at best costs her seconds during which she is at risk and terrified, and at worst could make it inaccessible if an intruder deliberately or accidentally puts himself between her and the pistol. That is a point that you should make soon, because it may well affect which pistol she purchases. Similarly, she may care more about concealment if she is going to carry it outside the house than if she is going to have it on her at home and lock it up when she leaves. She needs to pick a pistol that not only fits her hand but also fits her needs and intentions.

To me, those decisions need to precede the purchase of the pistol.

[TheNocturnus]

Wow, great responses! To answer some questions.

We already have 2 dogs that bark when a leaf falls off a tree so they are very attuned to noises. We have started leaving our back porch, front porch and driveway lights on at night. We have dead bolts on the front and back doors and have also been locking our storm doors. I have also started locking my garage door.

My neighbors were the ones that brought this to my attention and they are all starting to become more aware of what is happening on our street. (Funny thing is that we have a neighborhood watch sign on our street)

We do have a child, she is 2 years old. My wife and I have discussed our plan in case someone were to break in in the middle of the night. We have rehearsed it many times. There is almost always someone home since I work nights and she days. When we go out as a family obviously nobody is there.

Pax, I have read your website many times and I have shown it to my wife as well. There is a plethora of great ideas on there, thanks again for that. I have been a member here for years now and as always, appreciate this great community. Thanks again for all of your advice and input.

[stagpanther]

Every house on my block was broken into at least once--except mine. I think it was because I was too unpredictable as to when I'd be home. The gang did make a "preliminary scan" of my house but thought better fishing might be elsewhere when I showed up at the window with my 45 acp at the ready (which BTW from the tactical point of view you'll be told is bad to paint a target--but it worked for me).

[jrothWA]

let her make the choice between revolver or semi.

She maybe be more favorable of a revolver due to simple operation and
the variable ammo that can be used, e.g.: a .357Mag can employ the .38Spl round from powder puff target loads to +P.

Presently, I suggest that she start squeezing a new tennis ball to help tone the muscles.

Good luck.

[Dragline45]

Unless she plans on training or becoming proficient with whatever it is you get her, then look at a full to mid size revolver and load it up with .38's.

A female friend of mine recently asked me to help her go gun shopping. She was set on all the cute small semi autos sitting in the case and I did my best to tell her the pro's and con's of all the types of handguns. I asked her if she was ever going to shoot or practice with it which she replied no she just wants it to have it, so I recommended a revolver which she wasn't really interested in. So I explained to her about malfunctions in semi-autos, how to clear them, and then handed her a semi-auto with snap caps and simulated a double feed and then a failure to eject. Even with me giving the step by step she had some trouble clearing them, and I then asked her that if her adrenaline was pumping and she was in a potentially life threatening situation would she be able to or feel comfortable clearing the malfunctions and most importantly remember all the steps, she instantly replied absolutely not and decided the simplicity of the revolver was good for her. In the end she got a S&W model 10.

[longspurr]

A handgun is most useful to fight your way to a long gun. This is an often heard quote that is easy to understand. A short shotgun or a pistol caliber carbine is much easier to hit with and training is easier. A long gun can also be better secured than a pistol from the little ones.

For garage protection, I put a motion detector light covering the entry to the garage. The detector is turned ON / OFF from inside the house. This is the type with 2 light bulbs the come on when the detectror is activated. I removed one of the lights and put in a sonic alert. This way when the light comes on the alarm sounder does too. Works day or night when I want it ON.

[A pause for the COZ]

IP Cameras are a good idea too. I have 5 of them now. I keep them up on one of our many used computers we have. Wife can look around when the dogs are barking and I am on night shift.
Plus I get emails when the motion alarm goes off. You can also log into them off site via the internet. IT dept at work opened a route through the fire wall so I can access one from work. ( they are kinda funny about it) and I cant leave it up.
But they let me log in and check from time to time as long as I dont abuse the privilege.
The Email suffice for 90% of my needs. It gives you an image of what set the alarm off. Usually a cat.
Look into it, they are cheap now.

Here is a image of the UPS guy dropping of my Honady LNL AP



Here is the set up I keep up all the time. But can still log in from any computer in the house.

[Big Shrek]

Wanna see burglars avoid a home, Burglar Bars make 'em do it.
Especially if you have the doors covered with Bar Screen Doors with double-key lock deadbolts.
USE the key, every time you go in/out. If the crooks see you failing to do so regularly...well...
Get the Emergency Exit type bars over the bedroom windows...test & lube yearly...
Have Fire Extinguishers in EVERY bedroom/living room/kitchen area.

That's just the first layer...second is Safe Touch home security...lotsa cameras...
45-second response time on average...or whatever security company you like...
Crooks hate cameras.

Third, a nice big doggie. Germ Shep, Rotty, Cujo...whatever.
I like seeing at least TWO dogs at a home, as it gives them someone to play with when you aren't around.
Plus, one dog might be a wimp when confronted, but two give each other courage and confidence.
Its also just Two Much Trouble for most crooks...

Fourth, nice big fence, front & back, at least a 6', preferrably an 8-10.
Keeps the Rotty in while keeping others out.

Fifth, Train, Train, Train.
Send your Wife to a reputable CCW or Defense course. Hopefully both.

[Brotherbadger]

My question is after she finds the right gun for her, do you think I should push harder and ask her to carry it on her person at home when I am not there and maybe even get a ccw permit like I have? What would you do?

I wouldn't push it. Carrying a gun is a very personal choice that she may not be comfortable with. I would tell her that if she ever feels the need to do so, that you will help her and offer to take classes with her.

[Brit]

My Wife has a License, can not get her to carry a pistol "I am always with her"
True. One day had her purse carry our Glock 42. She is not interested much though.

Good lights, on at night, no dog. When we are out, good monitored alarm.

When I am dressed, I am Glock'ed up (G19) in bed, bed side table.

No children, unless baby sitting. Only pistol out then, on me.

Our house, illuminated, the ones on each side, not. We have a very bright street light out front, plus a light on the garage, front door. Jeep in the garage, always.

We have lived here since 2004, two break in's total in that time, both known!
One workmen, one wayward kid, that family moved out. 133 town homes.

I do a patrol, marked Security vehicle, no charge, I am on the HOA.

One way in, same way out. No drive through possible. Get my Wife to carry on person? not holding my breath. But like she says, we are joined at the hip!