What Is A Mall Ninja ??? - Page 2

HighVelocity · April 30, 2005, 12:01 PM

Yahoo search turned this up:

a10t2 · April 30, 2005, 12:06 PM

I think the thought of a mall ninja in my house is pretty much the only thing that could keep me awake after a 113 hour shift... ;-)

1BadF350 · April 30, 2005, 12:29 PM

Holy Crap that is funny!!!!!!

LMAO

benzo1355 · April 30, 2005, 03:59 PM

I bet they dream about being in the military or an officer. But they were born with that uhhhh leg uhhhhhh arm uhhhh dieases thing that ahh the uhhhhh doctor said they uhhhhhhh can't, you know, do any hard labor. But they would if they were not uhhhhh born that way. Because they were made for combat.

Darn shame too what would the nation be with out their ninja skills to protect us all?

novus collectus · April 30, 2005, 05:10 PM

LOL Benzo. I knew a couple of guys just like that.

carolinaflats · April 30, 2005, 05:41 PM

Something along the same lines...just as funny, maybe funnier!

www.realultimatepower.net

I never have realized it but I work with a mallninja. He wears camo to work, constantly talks about his soon to be sword collection, armor piercing ammunition for the AR he owns but has never shot, and various tactical additions made to his Ford Taurus. He's a good guy...but we all have a good laugh whenever he opens his mouth.

Please, everyone share your mallninja encounters...this is classic!!!

fwcofficer · April 30, 2005, 05:44 PM

I read those posts, some of the most rediculous stuff I have ever read.

9mmMike · April 30, 2005, 05:45 PM

Quote:

I have to quit reading this...my wife just yelled at me for waking up the kids because I was laughing so hard. We need more posts like this.

I remember, back in the day, sending links to those threads to a buddy at his work. He called to yell at me because he was laughing so hard his co-workers thought he was cracking-up.
It's been a long time since I've read them but I still remember the ceramic plates to take .308 shots to the head while his "partner" assembled somekind of rifle...
Oh my. I guess I'll need to go back and read them again, when no ones around...

Mike

carolinaflats · April 30, 2005, 07:21 PM

Two of my favorite quotes so far:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Originally Posted By SpecialForces:
Dude, my sister shoots one of those when it's not jamming on her. Get a real gun.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You carry in my mall without a properly displayed permit, Nancy, and your ponytails will be flying as I take you down hard. I can draw a bath faster than you could draw a gun...

[ Edited By SPECIALFORCES

This is the greatest site ever

bclark1 · May 1, 2005, 01:22 AM

hahahaha at the original. i couldn't come up with that if i tried for days.

3 weelin geezer · May 1, 2005, 03:51 AM

And here I thought a mall ninja was either a Japanese smoker or my girlfriend(s).

Fred Hansen · May 1, 2005, 03:02 PM

Quote:

Estimated Danger Level 1-10: -The TMF gets a 9. His tactics ensure that if you make one wrong move, you're not coming home for dinner-and even if you don't, you're still not coming home for dinner. Either way, you don't get no dinner.

End Report

There is only one thing tougher than a Mall Ninja, and that's:

Wassup now bish? We changed outfits but we still ICY HOT.

benzo1355 · May 1, 2005, 06:22 PM

That might just be the funniest thing I have seen in my short life. They just lay around their parents huge house getting stoned talking about how bad they hate their parents and how bad they got it.

Then one day try to go all "gangster" on the wrong person. And get drawn down on while they pee all over their prepubesent selfs. Man if they were my kids and they started acting like that I would have him in a military academy faster then they could say "druggie white punks".

benzo1355 · May 1, 2005, 06:24 PM

What if the mall ninja and the icey hot stuntaz were to collide into a huge battle. Man where can I get tickets to that show? It might just be WWIII.

jburtonpdx · May 1, 2005, 06:26 PM

Quote:

What if the mall ninja and the icey hot stuntaz were to collide into a huge battle. Man where can I get tickets to that show? It might just be WWIII.

:barf: :barf: :barf: :barf: :barf:

Uhm heh, nuff said

Mike Hull · May 1, 2005, 08:06 PM

Lost photo. Never mind.

Jack Malloy · May 2, 2005, 09:34 AM

Na,
Chairborn Rangers are guys who never were in the military, but to hear their paramilitary lingo, you would never know it. They go on and on like life master sargeants, but never saw a day in uniform once they were asked to leave the boy scouts....
A friend of mine who was in the army described the term to me years and years (actually decades) ago.
The guys who ARE in the Military but never see anything more dangerous than a pencil cut and never wield any weapon more deadly than an accountants pencil are called REMF, aka Rear Echelon Mother Somthingorothers.

Jack Malloy · May 2, 2005, 09:37 AM

Remember,
The true Chairborn Ranger has never made jumps from anything other than his Lazy Boy Recliner, LOL....

20cows · May 2, 2005, 10:12 AM

Wouldja look at d' bling on dem boyz!

IZinterrogator · May 2, 2005, 03:49 PM

REMFs are guys who go to the field for no longer than a day and wear a starched uniform and spit-shined boots when they do. A REMF looks uncomfortable in the field, a chairborne ranger just looks goofy in the field and is usually dehydrated and exhausted from the heavy load of superfluous crap strapped to his body.

In summary, a chairborne ranger is a REMF with a grossly overexaggerated sense of his high speed/low drag factor.

oneeyeross · May 2, 2005, 04:02 PM

Then there's boonie rats who'd rather be in the field than back at garrison.

38splfan · May 2, 2005, 08:16 PM

Quote:

Then there's boonie rats who'd rather be in the field than back at garrison.

Count me in that group

Just got back from 15 days in Yakima, getting ready for more shortly.
Got back from "the big show" in October, going back June '06.
Year in Korea before that, feild rotations in JSA. Two weeks out, four back.

We have some severe mall ninja's at the range here. The one I remember most is the guy who always shows up with his thigh rig on even though drawing from a holster is not allowed here. He also wears a backwards black ball cap with a desert camo "du-rag" under it.

Can't lump the Oakley's in there as we were all issued them in Iraq so they're pretty common.

Personally, I max the "ninja-meter" with my stained Carhartt jacket, my "crush and dent" Stetson, and my Turkish Mauser.

Maybe I'd be more tactical if I took the bandoleirs of surplus ammo and draped them over my chest?

oneeyeross · May 2, 2005, 08:55 PM

Well, my boonie rat days are LONG gone and over. Never did a Yak attack, but was stationed out there at the Clinic for a year. Nice place to live, but I wouldn't want to visit!

Now, Graf and Hohenfels....Argh...Spent a year there one month....or something like that. Nov/Dec 75. Man...That was cold.

"Tanks for the memories...."

Walter · May 2, 2005, 10:53 PM

Nothing wrong with "boonie rats". Count me in as one.
I volunteered to go back to Nam in 1969 just to get the
hell out of stateside training duty with the 28th Marines
at Pendleton.
I decided I would rather dodge AK rounds than put up with
the B S the Training Officers and Gunnys wanted to put
us through.
I know training is necessary, but for someone who has
been there, and just spent three months recuperating from
having been there, the training seemed to be a little much.

But back to the point at hand, I want to know if anyone ever
identified "Gecko 45"? Who was/is he? Or she? Whoever they
are, in my book, they are sheer genius!

Walter

support_six · May 2, 2005, 11:21 PM

True "Mall Ninjas" also have a bank of yellow lights on top of their "personal" Taurus (cause it ain't legal for them to buy the red and blue ones!).

I almost wet myself when I looked out in the parking lot of the MP barracks and noticed about half the POV's had yellow lights on top. Man, those things are like $500. Troops cried about how they couldn't afford BDU's with no holes and had to have the 1SG give them a haircut from the company barber's kit, but they could afford a bunch of "Mall Ninja" crap!

April 30, 2005, 12:29 PM	#28
1BadF350 Senior Member Join Date: January 15, 2005 Location: Ashburn, VA Posts: 915	Holy Crap that is funny!!!!!! LMAO __________________ "I actually don't know what a barrel shroud is, I think it's a shoulder thing that goes up." Carolyn McCarthy (D-NY) Author HR:1022, when asked what a barrel shroud is and why it needs to be regulated.

April 30, 2005, 05:44 PM	#32
fwcofficer Senior Member Join Date: February 14, 2005 Location: Miami, Fl (Northern Cuba) Posts: 197	I read those posts, some of the most rediculous stuff I have ever read. __________________ #20 Tony Stewart

May 1, 2005, 08:06 PM	#41
Mike Hull Member Join Date: May 17, 2004 Location: Cottonwood, AZ USA Posts: 76	Lost photo. Never mind. __________________ Mike

May 2, 2005, 10:12 AM	#44
20cows Senior Member Join Date: February 22, 2005 Location: West Texas Posts: 376	Icy Hot Stuntaz Wouldja look at d' bling on dem boyz!

May 2, 2005, 03:49 PM	#45
IZinterrogator Senior Member Join Date: November 8, 2004 Location: Prescott Valley, AZ Posts: 2,457	REMFs are guys who go to the field for no longer than a day and wear a starched uniform and spit-shined boots when they do. A REMF looks uncomfortable in the field, a chairborne ranger just looks goofy in the field and is usually dehydrated and exhausted from the heavy load of superfluous crap strapped to his body. In summary, a chairborne ranger is a REMF with a grossly overexaggerated sense of his high speed/low drag factor. __________________ "If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude than the animated contest of freedom, go from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains sit lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen!” - Samuel Adams

April 30, 2005, 12:01 PM	#26
HighVelocity Senior Member Join Date: January 1, 2005 Location: DFW, TX Posts: 220	Yahoo search turned this up:

April 30, 2005, 12:06 PM	#27
a10t2 Member Join Date: April 5, 2005 Location: CO Posts: 82	I think the thought of a mall ninja in my house is pretty much the only thing that could keep me awake after a 113 hour shift... ;-)

April 30, 2005, 03:59 PM	#29
benzo1355 Member Join Date: March 10, 2005 Location: Georgia Posts: 75	I bet they dream about being in the military or an officer. But they were born with that uhhhh leg uhhhhhh arm uhhhh dieases thing that ahh the uhhhhh doctor said they uhhhhhhh can't, you know, do any hard labor. But they would if they were not uhhhhh born that way. Because they were made for combat. Darn shame too what would the nation be with out their ninja skills to protect us all?

April 30, 2005, 05:10 PM	#30
novus collectus Junior member Join Date: March 15, 2005 Location: Maryland Posts: 940	LOL Benzo. I knew a couple of guys just like that.

April 30, 2005, 05:41 PM	#31
carolinaflats Senior Member Join Date: February 13, 2005 Location: Charleston,SC Posts: 165	Something along the same lines...just as funny, maybe funnier! www.realultimatepower.net I never have realized it but I work with a mallninja. He wears camo to work, constantly talks about his soon to be sword collection, armor piercing ammunition for the AR he owns but has never shot, and various tactical additions made to his Ford Taurus. He's a good guy...but we all have a good laugh whenever he opens his mouth. Please, everyone share your mallninja encounters...this is classic!!!

April 30, 2005, 07:21 PM	#34
carolinaflats Senior Member Join Date: February 13, 2005 Location: Charleston,SC Posts: 165	Two of my favorite quotes so far: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Originally Posted By SpecialForces: Dude, my sister shoots one of those when it's not jamming on her. Get a real gun. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- You carry in my mall without a properly displayed permit, Nancy, and your ponytails will be flying as I take you down hard. I can draw a bath faster than you could draw a gun... [ Edited By SPECIALFORCES This is the greatest site ever

May 1, 2005, 01:22 AM	#35
bclark1 Senior Member Join Date: January 5, 2005 Location: Ohio Posts: 1,531	hahahaha at the original. i couldn't come up with that if i tried for days.

May 1, 2005, 03:51 AM	#36
3 weelin geezer Senior Member Join Date: June 25, 2004 Posts: 438	And here I thought a mall ninja was either a Japanese smoker or my girlfriend(s).

May 1, 2005, 06:22 PM	#38
benzo1355 Member Join Date: March 10, 2005 Location: Georgia Posts: 75	That might just be the funniest thing I have seen in my short life. They just lay around their parents huge house getting stoned talking about how bad they hate their parents and how bad they got it. Then one day try to go all "gangster" on the wrong person. And get drawn down on while they pee all over their prepubesent selfs. Man if they were my kids and they started acting like that I would have him in a military academy faster then they could say "druggie white punks".

May 1, 2005, 06:24 PM	#39
benzo1355 Member Join Date: March 10, 2005 Location: Georgia Posts: 75	What if the mall ninja and the icey hot stuntaz were to collide into a huge battle. Man where can I get tickets to that show? It might just be WWIII.

May 2, 2005, 09:34 AM	#42
Jack Malloy Senior Member Join Date: February 3, 2005 Posts: 791	Na, Chairborn Rangers are guys who never were in the military, but to hear their paramilitary lingo, you would never know it. They go on and on like life master sargeants, but never saw a day in uniform once they were asked to leave the boy scouts.... A friend of mine who was in the army described the term to me years and years (actually decades) ago. The guys who ARE in the Military but never see anything more dangerous than a pencil cut and never wield any weapon more deadly than an accountants pencil are called REMF, aka Rear Echelon Mother Somthingorothers.

May 2, 2005, 09:37 AM	#43
Jack Malloy Senior Member Join Date: February 3, 2005 Posts: 791	Remember, The true Chairborn Ranger has never made jumps from anything other than his Lazy Boy Recliner, LOL....

May 2, 2005, 04:02 PM	#46
oneeyeross Member Join Date: March 19, 2005 Location: Wet Washington Posts: 88	Then there's boonie rats who'd rather be in the field than back at garrison.

May 2, 2005, 08:55 PM	#48
oneeyeross Member Join Date: March 19, 2005 Location: Wet Washington Posts: 88	Well, my boonie rat days are LONG gone and over. Never did a Yak attack, but was stationed out there at the Clinic for a year. Nice place to live, but I wouldn't want to visit! Now, Graf and Hohenfels....Argh...Spent a year there one month....or something like that. Nov/Dec 75. Man...That was cold. "Tanks for the memories...."

May 2, 2005, 10:53 PM	#49
Walter Senior Member Join Date: November 17, 2004 Location: North Texas Posts: 641	Nothing wrong with "boonie rats". Count me in as one. I volunteered to go back to Nam in 1969 just to get the hell out of stateside training duty with the 28th Marines at Pendleton. I decided I would rather dodge AK rounds than put up with the B S the Training Officers and Gunnys wanted to put us through. I know training is necessary, but for someone who has been there, and just spent three months recuperating from having been there, the training seemed to be a little much. But back to the point at hand, I want to know if anyone ever identified "Gecko 45"? Who was/is he? Or she? Whoever they are, in my book, they are sheer genius! Walter

May 2, 2005, 11:21 PM	#50
support_six Senior Member Join Date: August 29, 2000 Location: Richland, WA Posts: 678	True "Mall Ninjas" also have a bank of yellow lights on top of their "personal" Taurus (cause it ain't legal for them to buy the red and blue ones!). I almost wet myself when I looked out in the parking lot of the MP barracks and noticed about half the POV's had yellow lights on top. Man, those things are like $500. Troops cried about how they couldn't afford BDU's with no holes and had to have the 1SG give them a haircut from the company barber's kit, but they could afford a bunch of "Mall Ninja" crap!