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Old January 15, 2019, 09:18 PM   #26
TXAZ
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Ring doorbell.
They stop at the door and we talk from my smartphone.
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Old January 16, 2019, 12:45 AM   #27
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Originally Posted by briandg
Did anyone else take anything away from this other than I shouldn't have opened my door? That's entirely not the point, as I said.
Frankly ... no.
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Old January 16, 2019, 11:43 AM   #28
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Not a stranger, read the post, we had spent a number of hours in conversation before, not even the first time in my home. I didn't recognize him because he wasn't in work clothes
not a stranger? ok.. perhaps its more fair to simply say that you don't know much about this guy. An acquaintance perhaps

If a haircut throws you off, if a change of clothes throws you off, if you do not know about and are unaware of any mental problems that a person might have, if you experience is limited to a couple of encounters and a few hours of social conversation and if you honestly do not know much about them.. they wouldn't be invited into my home.

I have always treated relationships with others like the layers of an onion. One thing at a time, one progression at a time, and TIME being the rather important to the overall judgment and assessment of another human being and I am in no hurry. A person does not enter my home simply because I know his name and have had previous superficial contact in social settings. The question is "what do I actually know about this person and have I had adequate time to make a reasonable assessment of him/her. To enter my home is a very personal thing and a person has to establish a certainly level of trust and earn a certainly level of respect before they enter my home. That's just me and I sure wouldn't show them my guns.
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Old January 16, 2019, 12:03 PM   #29
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One person in five suffers from some form of mental illness. I'm not sure what the percentage is of people with criminal records. I do know that I can't sort them out by looking at them. Over time I get to know people and develop a trust in them. I'm not afraid to invite people into my home, I just don't like it when people I don't know all that well show up at my door and want to come in. Especially at night. I don't show people I don't know that well my guns. My neighbor had someone break in to his house a couple of years ago and stole five of his expensive watches (he collects them. odd, but I collect guns which to him is just as odd), all his wifes good jewelry, and a laptop. They knew right what to go for and left everything else. It was pretty apparent that he'd shown this stuff to someone he casually knew and they came back and took it. I err on the side of caution. You might want to think about it.
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Old January 16, 2019, 12:06 PM   #30
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The point is that even a well known and invited guest may become a threat.
sure... anything is possible but we typically mitigate problem via the application of good judgment. In the absence of good judgment, the potential for difficulties can be more pronounced. Inviting someone into my home and showing them guns is pretty much an ALL ACCESS pass. In my world, a person has to earn that pass simply because of the potential for problems which may easily develop when such access and information is granted to mere acquaintances. Its not only the nature of the acquaintance that is in question but also what kind of people they may assocaiate with. I simply cannot make a reasonable assessment of someone or hold a reasonable confidence in what I believe to be their habitual nature, if I barely know them.
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Old January 16, 2019, 12:37 PM   #31
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Originally Posted by briandg
Did anyone else take anything away from this other than I shouldn't have opened my door? That's entirely not the point, as I said.

Frankly ... no.
Briandg, I do not get involved with this part of the forum, I read through this one because you are the OP.

Years ago I had plans on getting married, problem: I was invited to my 'wife to be' apartment, I would like to think she wanted to show off her cooking skills. About the time she got started their was a knock at the door. I did not see who was knocking but it sounded like a mob. The wife to be took care if it; she explained she did not know of anyone having a party, she explained she was not invit4ed and she did not know of anyone having a party and she made it very clear she was not interested in having a party.

She went back to cooking and I went back to waiting when there was another knock at the door; I told her I would take care if it. Another mob looking for a party. I reminded them what she said; she did not know who was having a party, she was not invited, she did not know of anyone having a party and she was not interested in having a party, it was at this time I told the party goer to 'MAKE TRACKS!' He had a bottle in one hand and a glass in the other; he gave me his best James Dean smile and I stepped out of the door and on him.

I was told by neighbors it was one on hell of a noise, I stepped back into the apartment without asking the wife to be what she thought, I honestly expected I did what she expected me to do.

Well there was a party, the host of the party wanted to know what happened to his party goers, He told the apartment manager he did not know anyone that lived on the second floor out side of the Gay guy and the two girls that lived above her. She corrected him, she informed him one of the girls was dating the guy that rides the Harley and then said, "here he comes right there".

I parked, spoke and then went upstairs, it was about that time the ship hit the sand. The marriage was off. She informed me she never saw anyone get so mad so fast and hit someone so hard in all of her life. I explained to her I was outnumbered, I told her I did not have time to hit anyone twice, I told her they should have learned how to act before they left their homes and no one warned them about me.

It helped that most of the neighbors came over to her apartment to tell her they were horrified at the mob that took over the complex. The little Gay guy said he had never seen pictures fly off the wall and then there was the noise.

On Monday she went to work to informed them there would be no wedding. the boss said it was too bad he was not in Denver Saturday night. An article in the paper gave an account of a mother and son that were murdered by a stranger that knocked on the door.

And then there was 'THE classic motor rage event in Ft. Worth, Texas.

A whole new meaning to, "He did what?" there were no Bob Ukers there. No one was in a hurry because they were concerned I was going to make them late, they all waited patiently.

F. Guffey

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Old January 16, 2019, 12:41 PM   #32
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Your doorstep is not the world and I should have limited my scope
Most understood what you meant without further explanation. It is not a better place for the dumbing down to the lowest common denominator, either.
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Old January 16, 2019, 02:42 PM   #33
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I hope that some of you never have to answer to your God (gods, Karma, conscience, whatever) why you did not help the stranger who came to your door in a time of need.
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Old January 16, 2019, 03:02 PM   #34
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I hope that some of you never have to answer to your God (gods, Karma, conscience, whatever) why you did not help the stranger who came to your door in a time of need.
I disagree that this story you keep putting forward, of the stranger looking for help, is what happened in this case. As for God, I'm not sure he's a member here.
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Old January 16, 2019, 03:03 PM   #35
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F Guffey, not to make light of a serious situation but I thought I was reading a Jack Reacher book for a minute there.
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Old January 16, 2019, 03:19 PM   #36
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F. Guffey, you assaulted someone for smiling at you? Am I missing something?
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Old January 16, 2019, 03:25 PM   #37
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Originally Posted by GarandTd View Post
F. Guffey, you assaulted someone for smiling at you? Am I missing something?
You're not the only one confused.

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Old January 16, 2019, 03:37 PM   #38
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I disagree that this story you keep putting forward, of the stranger looking for help, is what happened in this case. As for God, I'm not sure he's a member here.
Do you disagree that the person have a mental health crisis is in need of assistance or that he was at the OP's doorstep?

I'm going to share a story that I should not about a friend I know well. The details were not clear at the time and they are less clear a decade and a half or so later. Said friend was going through less than an amicable divorce with a woman who was very good at manipulating situations. There was a point where said friend left his house, as best as memory goes, to get a drink or a bottle of drink. The local sheriff department called him and asked for a location meeting him at his destination with four deputies. Said individual was rather armed though everything was in the trunk and legally carried. It was a Sunday night and the officers likely would have been within their rights to detain the individual and hold him or her until Monday morning or perhaps longer though as I recall the story no laws had been broken. Cause was there to let a judge sort it out.

What did the officers do? One, at risk to himself perhaps, offered to sit with this young man and have a piece of pizza or two and did for a couple hours. In this particular case the agitated young man calmed down, went home, and the story ends well for everyone involved.

In this life we have the option to live it boldly and in a manner that can be remembered with praise or in fear behind doors even when our help is sought. The officer in the story won a friend for life at little cost but a touch of boldness and a slice of pizza.
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Old January 16, 2019, 03:46 PM   #39
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I'm going to share a story that I should not about a friend I know well.
Then please don't. I don't understand why people say this and then share.

Quote:
In this life we have the option to live it boldly and in a manner that can be remembered with praise or in fear behind doors even when our help is sought. The officer in the story won a friend for life at little cost but a touch of boldness and a slice of pizza.
I am not a police officer, nor was the OP acting as an active duty officer in this thread. A man came to his house to talk in a social manner. At the moment he knocked, per the OP, he didn't display any behavior that indicated he was in a mental health crisis and needed aid. I'd add that frankly the OP didn't render aid. When he realized the man was in trouble he asked to call someone or give the man a ride, but the end goal was to get the man out of his home. The man eventually left and the OP didn't follow up, from what we know I am not trying to assume behavior, as to how the man did or if he's feeling better. I don't blame the OP for those actions, I'm merely stating the reality of the situation.

In your own story law enforcement are brought in to interact with this man. I'm not suggesting, for myself, that I watch or listen to someone struggle on my doorstep and not do anything. Ask him what we needs, call him a taxi or an ambulance, there are plenty of options I'd consider. Would I invite that person in my house? No. I am not just responsible for myself. I have family I am not going to deliberately put in what could be harm's way.

If you want to help people in life there are many, many ways. Charitable organizations, both church related and not, outreach programs, the list goes on. There are a lot of ways to give back in settings that don't involve inviting people you don't know into your home. If me not inviting someone I don't know into my home means when I die that people won't praise me, I guess I have to live with that. Frankly I think bringing someone's relationship to God into question and asking them to debate it on an internet forum isn't worthy of praise either, but here we are.
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Old January 16, 2019, 04:32 PM   #40
F. Guffey
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GarandTd View Post
F. Guffey, you assaulted someone for smiling at you? Am I missing something?

You're not the only one confused.

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No, the wife to be gave him all the information he was going to get. I repeated everything she said. the last thing I said to him was, "MAKE TRACKS", Smiling was not an option, again, I was outnumbered, I have been there before, I understand if I do not get started early I may not have time to start at all.

Ya though I walked through valley I feared no one.


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Old January 16, 2019, 06:20 PM   #41
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F Guffey, not to make light of a serious situation but I thought I was reading a Jack Reacher book for a minute there.
Thank you. You should have been with me in south Texas, everyone was warned so they put me with a few people that had never had an exciting day in their life. That all changed. When I left they all ask: "Who was that guy?

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Old January 16, 2019, 08:42 PM   #42
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She informed me she never saw anyone get so mad so fast and hit someone so hard in all of her life. I explained...outnumbered...did not have time to hit anyone twice....they should have learned how to act.....no one warned them about me.
Your story makes it sound like you assaulted some party goers for knocking on the wrong door. Call it what you want.
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Old January 16, 2019, 09:24 PM   #43
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Yep,, there is either a lot of the story missing or someone needs an anger mgt class
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Old January 16, 2019, 09:40 PM   #44
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In the first scenario by the OP I would have invited the psychotic guy to step into my living room and offer him twenty bucks if he could shoot an apple off my head. Just joking, but come on, remember "stranger danger" in the 2nd grade? And on the second scenario presented by mister Guffey, I'd have to suggest he search a rougher neighborhood for the kind of girl he seems to feel he would like to make his wife and good luck with that one. Oh well, peace and love.
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Old January 17, 2019, 01:16 AM   #45
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I have two things: 1. security cameras watching around my house. 2. A no soliciting sign of which I expanded upon, to include in bold that (among other things)reads: If you were not invited here you need to leave-no excuses, no exceptions. From my security cameras recording I could tell w/o a doubt a certain uninvited stranger was not coming over offering some get to know you cookies! I feel no obligation to anyone to answer my phone or to respond to a knock on my door. Unless I know a person very well they are not let into my home. My home is my inner sanctum and it will remain as such. I am not paranoid, rather I am very cautious. The town I live in is chock-a-block with drifters and dopers.
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Old January 17, 2019, 02:54 AM   #46
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I don't know how long it took before I realized that he was in a fully developed psychotic episode, including hallucinations, delusions, complete severance from reality. He got so wired up and angry that I was getting concerned.
There are some good guidelines online for dealing with persons who are hallucinating/experiencing delusions. It is enough of a jar to one's system to realize that someone is experiencing an alternate reality without having to try to figure out how to deal with it constructively on the fly.
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Old January 22, 2019, 11:50 AM   #47
F. Guffey
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A long story with a tragic end.

I was the visitor at the door:

Again: I was at a house in Houston, Texas on the west side, as everyone should expect I rang the door bell, a young lady answered. I introduced myself and then she introduced herself and finished with "get me out of here ; please!"

I know, there is 911, restraining orders and lawyers for separations etc. so I responded with, "OK". I believed this young lady was denied access to help. It appeared the ship hit the sand when he? Passed me, grabbed her and shoved her into the wall and then slammed the door shut.

I walked to the street to get a few tools and then returned to the house and proceeded to remove the facial boards and trim from around the door frame, I understand, it is not easy to sneak up on someone with all of the hammering and banging but the noise did not escape his attention. He asked me what I was doing. I explained to him I was going to remove the front door because I agreed to get her out of the house.

It was about that time he started to negotiate. He suggested if it was necessary to open the door he would open it. I explained to him we were not going to open the door we were going to remove it; the rational? She was not going to be out of my site. He then wanted to know about putting the door back together. I made it clear installing the door was his problem.

Anyhow; he opened the door and I removed the hinge pins and then carried the door to a tree in his front door and then leaned the door against the tree to show his neighbors I was the good guy, (back to 911) if I WAS THE BAD GUY HE WOULD HAVE CALLED 911.

And then I proceeded to separate her and her stuff from him and his stuff. He did complain about the heat caused by the open (missing) door; I explained to him I was not responsible for the electrical bill.

Because everyone involved was afraid of him she would not tell me where she was going; later I was notified of her new address, I called her and asked her if she would consider someplace else, I informed her I had been to Alabama, I was in Selma when the march began, I was in Montgomery when the march came to an end, on that day they said to me "You are a Yankee aren't you. And I replied with, "Thank you". On that day I met some of the best friends I have ever had.

“A long story with a tragic end”

F. Guffey
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Old January 22, 2019, 04:21 PM   #48
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OP, glad everything turned out for the better.

That's the thing with lessons. Sometimes they're rough and unexpected. I know you won't make any of those mistakes again.

I'm in an area where no one even acknowledges their neighbors. So anyone knocking on or trying to look into your home is strange.

Yes, I have stories. Don't we all? lol. Anyway, a lot of good advice here.
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