Creative answers to the question: "Are you carrying?"

[nemo2econ]

Okay, for whatever reason, it is possible that someone wonders if you are carrying or not. For some who are less inhibited, or maybe a friend who knows you participate in shooting sports, they may just come out and ask you:

"Are you carrying?"

What would be your three best creative answers that would best defuse the situation without answering the question directly?

Answers can be humorous or serious but they should quickly end the dialog about whether or not you are packing heat in a way that does not directly insult the one who, perhaps inadvisably but likely innocently, asked the question. The goal here is to defuse the situation without answering the question directly and, for most reasonable/normal human beings, for the questioner to go away without future pestering about the matter.

So, how would you recommend the question be answered?

[hogdogs]

Drugs or gun?
Carrying what?
Makes ya wonder, huh...
Brent

[comn-cents]

Do I look Pregnant?
What?
It's a beer gut man.

[Shadi Khalil]

Say, I'm a diabetic and thats my meter. The person asking will feel like jerk and you might get a free candy bar out of it.

[OldMarksman]

Maybe yes, maybe no.

That's not public information.

Do you really expect me to answer that?

[Don H]

"Are you carrying?"

Why would you ask someone such a personal question?

[Jofaba]

stranger asks:

Casual: smile, and mean it, and say "lets keep it civil and safe, you need help with something?"

sketchy: focused eyes, calm demeanor "neither of us wants to go down that road."

dangerous: Well, they already know because it's pointed at them.

--

Someone you know asks:

casual: "Would it make you feel safer if I was?"

answer is no: "I left it in the car"
answer is yes:"then don't worry"

sketchy: "carrying what?"
answer is nevermind: "okay"
answer is gun: "Why would you ask me that?"
answer is I just want to know: "no, but you're making me kinda wish I was"


dangerous: step back, draw, point toward the ground between us "you just changed things man. Step back or I'll treat you like I don't know you."

notes: I don't yet carry and these are desk chair answers. I hope I never have to draw once I do get my license. I will only be carrying for actual life or death personal protection. I don't want to have to beg for my freedom because of some Rambo senario. These answers were thought out but maybe they're wrong. I really don't know what I'd say in either senario, but I do know how I'd react if someone was threatening my life and I actually feared that if I didn't act that I would die. Coming up with a catch phrase is kind of silly but also kind of fun. I hope that none of my answers scare anyone, as I probably really wouldn't say anything snappy. It entirely depends on the person, how safe you feel around them, why they were asking and whether you felt that they were actually threatening your and possibly moving towards threatening your life.

[2cooltoolz]

No

[Dubs]

Swine flu? Yes.

[GojuBrian]

No, I just like you.

[SigSauerIsBetter]

No, it's one of those old cell phones attached to my belt, the charger is in the backpack.

[Cruncher Block]

Depends on whether or not I am obligated to share that information.

Usually, "No".

[Keltyke]

Unless you're a LEO, it's NOYB.

[bigghoss]

define "are"

I did not have carrying relations with that weapon

I'm not carrying, I don't even own a gun. I THINK YOU'RE CARRYING!(this follows my motto of "admit nothing, deny everything, make counter accusations)

[zxcvbob]

Grab your crotch and say something a little crude.

[the rifleer]

Ya, you wanna pop off a couple rounds? It usually makes me feel better.

Only on days that end with "y".

Hey, I'm asking the questions here, buddy!!!

The question is, are YOU carrying?

Mutter something very softly and walk away...

answer No and node your head Yes at the same time.

note- obviously this isn't the right thing to say and i dont carry... I also cant follow instructions.

[relee]

No...Do I look pregnant to you?

Yes...Twins (especially if you have your backup that day!)

Wait a minute mister... I didn't even kiss her

[fastforty]

"Do you really want to find out?"

"You really *don't* want to find out."

"Stand right here and act like a paper target."

[Ricklin]

If Mae West was asking I would just say I'm glad to see her!

[Niner4Tango]

My parents: "Yeah" (They'll feel better)

My Girlfriend: "I don't know, think you can find it?" (Let the fun begin. Actually, she wouldn't ask, she already knows)

A friend: "Yeah, shoulder holster" ( He's probably carrying, too)

A stranger: I practice a dirty look that ends all conversation

[curt.45]

Grab your crotch and say something a little crude

you beat me to it.

[wmeSha]

Since I teach at a University (and carry is currently prohibited by law) I find it interesting that I get this question from time to time.

In class I've come up with a couple of satisfactory answers:

1. Smile, look right at the questioner, "That would be illegal."

My students did not overlook that I did not answer the direct question, so it leaves the answer ambiguous.

2. Smile, look right at the questioner, "Would it make you want to study harder if the answer was 'yes'?"

For what it's worth, any student of game theory understands that an important element of concealment is the doubt a criminal has. Even people who don't carry will benefit if a criminal just can't be certain. So I like to play the uncertainty card, but I like to do it in a playful sassy way.

When a colleague asked me in the hallway a few days ago, I just smiled, looked at him, and said, "I might be." I remarked to the student next to me that the question was very serendipitous (since we were on our way to the parking lot to make our way to the local shooting range).

[woad_yurt]

My few close friends would never ask because they know the answer already. If anyone did ask me, I'd look surprised and I'd ask "why ask me a crazy question like that?" Then I'd move on to another topic. If they persisted, I'd tell 'em to cut it out with their crazy questions, to leave me alone.

[ZeSpectre]

Okay, for whatever reason, it is possible that someone wonders if you are carrying or not. For some who are less inhibited, or maybe a friend who knows you participate in shooting sports, they may just come out and ask you:

"Are you carrying?"

What would be your three best creative answers that would best defuse the situation without answering the question directly?

Wow, that completely depends on who is asking and how they are asking.

For example my wife has, in certain situations, (crossing a BIG, VERY dark store parking lot at night) asked me. In that case she gets a simple, reassuring answer.

Asked by a business owner once, my reply was "Yes, is there a problem?"

On the other hand I had a friend of a friend who seemed to think it was all a big joke to loudly ask me if I was "packin' today" when we were out in various public places. I finally got fed up one afternoon and the conversation went like this.
Him: "Hey man, you PACKIN' today?" (snide tone used loudly and in public)
Me: (in my best condescending tone) "Hey man, you stopped beating your wife yet?

If memory serves that was pretty much the last time he chose to talk to me.

[alienbogey]

"The voices in my head told me to........ and sometimes I do what they say, sometimes I don't."