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Old February 18, 2019, 01:20 PM   #1
fisherman
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My wife does not like me buying pistols.

I am one of those unfortunate guys that has a wife who dislikes guns (never brought up around them) and thinks my pistol purchases are a waste of money. All I bought in the last 2 years was a 9MM, a 22 poly ply, and a 380 Spectrum. Just wanted a small concealed carry in all three calibers. Going to see which one I like to carry the best. How are your wives when it comes to your pistols?
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Old February 18, 2019, 01:38 PM   #2
IdaD
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My wife wasn't raised around guns and doesn't like them either, but she has no problem with me owning them and teaching our daughters how to handle and shoot them when they are ready. I don't see it as that big of a deal, it's just one of those things we have differing opinions about and she's entitled to her opinion as much as I am to mine. In all important respects she and I are on the same page and we're rapidly approaching a quarter century together.
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Old February 18, 2019, 01:39 PM   #3
BobCat45
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My wife is supportive since she knows I enjoy shooting, and she likes me to be happy.

When I was fixin' to turn 66 I was talking to my brother on the phone about a match rifle I wanted to build. I know, this forum is about pistols, but this example stands out. When the phone call was over, she recommended that I go ahead and start ordering parts. "After you retire, you'll never spend the money. Spend it now and enjoy the rifle." I did and she was right.

Look up what you paid for your 9mm, .22, and .380, and when. Now look up prices - one of the online gun auction sites, or look at used guns at the lgs. You can point out that your guns are worth more now than when you bought them. Can't say that about cars, groceries, or a lot of things people buy and use.
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Old February 18, 2019, 01:43 PM   #4
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Tell her you are guilty of trying to protect her and yourself!

It's better to ask for forgiveness than ask for permission.
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Old February 18, 2019, 01:48 PM   #5
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I used to have a wife like that.
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Old February 18, 2019, 02:09 PM   #6
sigarms228
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My wife is fine with it though she probably thinks I have less pistols than I do.
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Old February 18, 2019, 02:10 PM   #7
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Every time I buy a gun I turn into a Prince for at least a month - My wife likes that and knows she gets to sell them all when I die.
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Old February 18, 2019, 02:10 PM   #8
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Simple, show her how much her purses, shoes, what ever are worth used compared to how much the guns you buy are worth!
Works for me. She buys a purse for $200 10 years ago that she can get fifty bucks, maybe, in a garage sale today. I buy a Yugo SKS on my C&R for $100 ten years ago that I can get $300 today!
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Old February 18, 2019, 02:24 PM   #9
2wheelwander
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True story. My wife was just like this. She tolerated the guns I brought into the marriage but hated to even look at them. My HBAR was straight from the gates of hell if you'd have asked her. I kept my CZ-85 on the top shelf of the bedroom closet for security. The kids were still in diapers and she began screaming how unsafe it was - they were still on sippy cups and couldn't take 3 steps without falling down, but I digress. I wanted a pistol safe to keep the CZ in the bedroom. Keep it locked up, but accessible. Nope, we couldn't afford to buy one, too expensive, make up your own reason and insert it here. So, it went downstairs into the rifle safe.

Fast forward a few months. She wakes up to a 'noise'. We lived out in the boonies. My wife has all the tactical common sense of a parrot, to this day. Any other incident like this I grabbed the pistol and cleared the house, check windows and doors. However things were about to change. My young wife is freaking out. Shaking me awake, not knowing how to whisper, there has got to be someone in the house because she just knows the sound she heard was a murderer. I look down at my adult Rottweiler who was the best guard dog you could ask for and she was looking at me wondering what all the fuss was about and why she was now awake to loud whispers. Keep i mind this was before cell phones and we didn't have a phone in the bedroom.

Now, things are about to change and these were the words said -

Wife -do you hear that?!
Me - I do, how long have you heard this? (I actually heard nothing)
Wife - its been going on for a few minutes and its getting louder. SOMEONE IS IN THE HOUSE! DO SOMETHING!
Me - Settle down honey. I will take care of this, but I need just one thing from you and you need to be brave. (by now she is nearing tears)
Wife - (Voice shaking) OK, what do you need me to do?
Me -I need you to, very quietly and carefully, go downstairs to the kitchen and grab my car keys from the kitchen counter. Then go downstairs again (we lived in a a split level) and open the gun safe. Grab my pistol and the magazine beside it. Bring it back up to me and I will the go clear the house. Don't forget, be quiet.

Wife didn't know rather to loose her mind in terror or hit me out of anger. After she settled down, I asked her to look at the dog and realize there was no one in the house. If there were, the dog would have responded. She settled down.

The next morning we had the conversation regarding how common sense works. I think it was around that time I told her she can ask me to do anything, but don't tell me how to do it. Mow the lawn? No problem, but don't come out and tell me what I'm doing wrong. Protect the family? Its my duty. But don't tell me to lock up an inanimate object two floors away because you watch too much TV, and then ask me to grab a coat hanger and save your life at 3am from an unknown number or people in our home.

Soon after money magically became available for a pistol safe that went into the closet. It was a miracle how that happened I tell ya.
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Old February 18, 2019, 02:26 PM   #10
Lohman446
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A) Guns are not an investment. They are toys. If they are an investment then both parties to the shared fiscal asset have a say unless separate fiscal investment categories are agreed upon. Guns are a luxury purchase. While some argument can be made that they are a defensive necessity this argument falls apart after the ownership of the basic necessity (one).

B) Each party should have some portion of the shared fiscal assets as discretionary spending for luxury items. As long as you are within your agreed upon discretionary limit you are good to go.

C) There is an argument based on safety in the house against guns. This argument is readily countered by safe and proper storage of firearms. Again once you have one this argument loses traction.

Also understand that your wife likely knows you have "a lot" of guns. This non-quantitative measurement is important. As others have illustrated "a lot" + 1 is probably still "a lot". While I find deceit distasteful its unlikely she is going to notice if you have one more gun anymore than you are going to notice if she has one more pair of shoes (or whatever).
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Old February 18, 2019, 03:26 PM   #11
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My wife is very anti gun and I get the ‘hairy eyeball’ when I talk about them. I once asked her if she would like to go to the range, ‘I’d rather clean the toilet’...ok, I’m in the ‘pick your battles’ school of thought..I don’t bring up guns and shooting, she’s fine with that. I’ve had a CCWP for over 12 months, she doesn’t know I EDC, even if I do do it for her(and grand kiddies)...BUT my $, from MY garage biz(custom bicycle wheels)....so...
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Old February 18, 2019, 03:32 PM   #12
5whiskey
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Quote:
A) Guns are not an investment. They are toys. If they are an investment then both parties to the shared fiscal asset have a say unless separate fiscal investment categories are agreed upon. Guns are a luxury purchase. While some argument can be made that they are a defensive necessity this argument falls apart after the ownership of the basic necessity (one).

B) Each party should have some portion of the shared fiscal assets as discretionary spending for luxury items. As long as you are within your agreed upon discretionary limit you are good to go.

C) There is an argument based on safety in the house against guns. This argument is readily countered by safe and proper storage of firearms. Again once you have one this argument loses traction.

Also understand that your wife likely knows you have "a lot" of guns. This non-quantitative measurement is important. As others have illustrated "a lot" + 1 is probably still "a lot". While I find deceit distasteful its unlikely she is going to notice if you have one more gun anymore than you are going to notice if she has one more pair of shoes (or whatever).
All of the above post is spot on, but the bold is especially important.
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Old February 18, 2019, 04:13 PM   #13
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My wife is not into guns. She doesn't like when I bring home new ones. While most guns may not be an investment, they do hold they're value better than alot of other things. They are more a hobby for me. A collection of sorts. I want my kids to be comfortable with and responsible with firearms. After all, they are going to own my collection one day. I invite my wife to the range every now and again. I think she thinks I'm meeting women there or something. She doesn't know exactly how many guns I have and I like it that way. She tolerates it because deep down she knows there are much worse things I could be doing.
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Old February 18, 2019, 04:21 PM   #14
Targa
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I can’t relate. My wife is very encouraging as long a we are financially responsible with firearm purchases which applies to everything in our lives.
When we are at the range I am usually the one asking if we are ready to go yet...
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Old February 18, 2019, 04:23 PM   #15
stinkeypete
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Buy better pistols!

Maybe your wife is right- buying pistols is dull. Shooting pistols is fun! Get to the range, join a club, go to a weekly pistol league, get out in the woods and pulverize some tin cans.

Imagine a guy who’s hobby is buying golf clubs, but he doesn’t go golfing. You might point out to your wife how exoensive golf is and golfers never recover a scant fraction of what they pay for clubs.

Shooting for me is a very inexpensive hobby. I buy a gun, enjoy it for many years, then sell it or trade it at a profit. Buying a hard asset and selling at a profit seems like an investment. But then a fella needs to know what to buy at what price and how to maintain and how much to sell for,
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Old February 18, 2019, 05:22 PM   #16
Tactical Jackalope
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I had a wife like that.

No she carries a Smith and Wesson Shield in 9mm.
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Old February 18, 2019, 05:28 PM   #17
Onward Allusion
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I feel for you. My ex is an anti. Before she became the ex, she wanted me to sell all my guns. One of the big reasons I got rid of her.

At least your wife let you buy guns.
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Old February 18, 2019, 05:28 PM   #18
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In my house, guns come and go frequently as I get bored with one or another. One thing I learned a long time ago was...I keep them all black (no stainless slides) and my wife can't tell one from another. A dozen guns later and they all look the same to her. My FDE S&W SD9 was my first "new" gun in years (or so she thinks).
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Old February 18, 2019, 05:49 PM   #19
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No joint bank account, dont get anything colorful, and if she asks: "I've had this one for a while remember? Havent taken it to the range lately though. Wanna go?"
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Old February 18, 2019, 06:07 PM   #20
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Tell your wife you don’t like her buying purses, shoes, excessive clothes and makeup.
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Old February 18, 2019, 06:13 PM   #21
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Quote:
How are your wives when it comes to your pistols?
My best man and I went rabbit hunting on the morning of my wedding day. Some things need to be understood up front. Somethings are questions never to be asked; like, "Can my dog stay in the house?"

On the last day of January this year, my wife and I celebrated our Fiftieth wedding anniversary! My wife is fine with pistols on her bedside and mine and Pointers living in the house.
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Old February 18, 2019, 06:52 PM   #22
chaim
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I'm still single. One of the reasons, a couple women who things got close with (we were talking about engagement, and in one of these cases, we were shopping rings) made getting rid of my guns one of their requirements (not brought up until after things got serious- the old idea so many women have that they'll change the things about their man they don't like instead of having to learn to live with them). We could never negotiate that issue, and we broke up.

As for how I'd suggest you deal with your situation, I am a strong believer that adults should have some money that is theirs. As a married couple, you should have joint accounts, but you should each have some money that is just yours. What you each save for and use that money for is up to you.
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Old February 18, 2019, 07:03 PM   #23
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Wife was ambivalent about guns early on (not raised around them) so tolerated me getting guns and target practicing since I enjoyed it and raised with guns. But then there was a vicious mistaken ID home invasion a mile from us and she told me to do whatever was necessary to protect our girls. She is an enthusiastic supporter of gun rights now. 20 years later I am still working on getting armed up properly!
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Old February 18, 2019, 07:15 PM   #24
GarandTd
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I do some side work, scrap once in a while, save change. These are several ways I supplement my gun interests so my wife can't really say much about it. She also thinks I'm buying guns without telling her far more than I actually am, so I guess I've got that going for me. She doesn't understand why I "need" them even after I straight tell her it's not a need, but a want. I encourage my wife to spend a little on herself and find some hobbies. I think she's just jealous because I've found mine.
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Old February 18, 2019, 07:22 PM   #25
Lohman446
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My hobbies include high end whiskey, gambling, working out, running, and guns. My wife doesn’t care as long as the bills are paid and the above list does not include women. Perhaps you should present alternative options
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