Do you ever pull over and help strangers?

[JohnKSa]

You used the terms "lying" and "coward," not me.

Sure. You just implied he was repeating an urban myth instead of truthfully recounting an incident in his life and that he was "turned to fear". Obviously different from lying and being a coward.

And, of course there's the obvious contradiction that if the story wasn't true there would be no reason for him to be afraid. But whatever.

The real tragedy is, how many people has that story prevented doing the right thing?

Since we don't have any stats, I'm going to make some up and say that it has saved exactly as many people from being crime victims as it has dissuaded people from stopping to help people in genuine distress. So I'm going to say that it's a wash--totally neutral in its effects and therefore not a tragedy at all.

Realistically, it has been my experience that people do what they want to and rarely take the time to think things through carefully, reviewing all the stories they've heard to determine if doing something is wise or not.

I know that I have stopped to help people in spite of having heard, and believed the story. And I have also passed people by for a variety of reasons without ever even thinking about the story.

[In The Ten Ring]

I have found the "command voice" works very well on stopping shady guys in their tracks during their walk up.

"Stop, do NOT come any closer!" "What do you need?" Left hand up in "stop!" gesture or pointing, right hand reaching for you know what.

They go into the "um, um, um" mode.

Despite my compulsive need to help people I keep my head on a swivel and I endeavor to see everyone before they see me.

briandg is dead on (no pun intended) snow shoveling is a known killer for the out-of-shape.

I stop and check on those out in snow too. I have found that tire chains are da bomb in deep snow or on ice. I've passed heavy duty 4x4 trucks on hills with my little 1 wheel drive car with her chains on. What's "1 wheel drive?" Whichever front wheel gets less traction is the only one that pulls.

Driving on snow takes some experience and practice, which we tend to get where I live.

[GarandTd]

When I was in my late teens, I gave a young woman a ride after my friends and I found her car up an embankment. She was visibly intoxicated and there were empty liquor bottles on the floor. I probably should have called the police, but I took her home instead. She was lucid enough to direct me to where she was staying and had friends at her place to receive her.

I generally stop if I see somone in distress. I don't give rides or pick up strangers, not to say it would never happen. I often wonder the stories of hitchhikers that I see, but I don't pick them up.

I've been helped by strangers and I help strangers. I don't let fear rule my life. I think if we do, the bad guys win.

Also, while I respect the freedom of religion, don't for one second think that it is a prerequisite for being a kind and compassionate human being. Religion is not required to have strong morals and values.

[Cheapshooter]

I'm not entirely stupid. I've done some practice with weak side gun handling in the car.

That can be debatable.

I took her in knowing quite well that she may have been dangerous. It's what I do.

The first point of self defense being avoid the potential in the first place. Not practice for an event you unwisely got yourself into.
When approached in a parking lot, or gas station for help, usually with a story about how they need money to get home, I simply get out my phone and offer to contact the police to help them. Most often they suddenly find their car, or it isn't out of gas, and leave for other "hunting grounds" quickly as I randomly dial fictitious numbers.

[jhenry]

Of course I stop. There are particular circumstances where that would not be a wise decision, so excluding those rare situations I stop. If it is a bike i stop with no exceptions.

For those who never stop no matter what, saying in essence "to hell with everybody but me", when you are in a bad way and need help I hope the person passing by disagrees with you.

[briandg]

don't be implying that i;'m stupid because i will take a risk in order to offer help. you are pretty clearly saying that the initial decision to be a cop or other emergency personnel is a stupid decision, because that decision s going to lead to a whole lifetime of doing those things. You choose not to even consider it. Your decision is your own, I disagree with you without considering you to be stupid.

I don't guess you got the memo. self defense is about any situation. You presume a lot, deciding that offering assistance to a person after carefully considering the risks is a personal choice, whether or not you think it's unwise, the choice is about whether people are concerned enough about the other person to care. I'm sure that you make decisions that I consider "unwise."

The chance that any one person is dangerous is probably pretty slim. It's a moral decision. a tattooed and pierced goober or homeless looking guy can be given the benefit of doubt, or just assumed to be a threat and chased off. Personally, I assume that everybody maybe a threat, and then go through a number of other questions before I decide what to do.

[In The Ten Ring]

Also, while I respect the freedom of religion, don't for one second think that it is a prerequisite for being a kind and compassionate human being. Religion is not required to have strong morals and values.

Although not by any means needed for compassion, religion does seem to help.

For those who never stop no matter what, saying in essence "to hell with everybody but me", when you are in a bad way and need help I hope the person passing by disagrees with you.

They hope so too! They won't admit it, but they do, they have, and they will.

We all know not to judge a book by its cover....but to judge by evidence and actions. One thing I will judge by and that's neck, facial, and head tattoos. Police officers on this site might confirm, that's usually a bad place for tattoos. I wouldn't do that man wrong, but my alert status would go up.

I read in a police magazine many years ago that if approached with the "I ran out of gas" story to offer to call police, so they could give the guy a ride. Three times I've used that and three times the fellow got angry/yelled obscenities while the third just sadly walked off. *In his case there was no car left where he said it was.

My father lost a gas can when he let a guy "borrow" it when the guy approached his house asking for gasoline. Later, dad was going to do the same thing, but that time I happened to be over there and I went with the guy. He put it into his tank and I believe he was honestly out of gasoline. He offered to pay, I refused.

Last fall I came across a car stopped on a hill in the turning lane. That's very odd as there is no place to turn off on that road (defeating the reason for a turning lane but hey, govt.). I pulled over into a driveway, tried to ask permission to be there but no one was home, and walked to the guy's car. He was a teenager, out of gasoline. *I warned him not to continue cranking as he could burn up the fuel pump (modern ones are lubricated by gasoline in the tank).

I went home to fetch him some, realized I had no spare fuel, so I drove to a gas station and got him 2.5 gallons. By the time I got back to him, two deputies had pulled over to check on him (good on them!). I pulled in behind them, and he and I tanked him up. He paid me $8.00.

When I was leaving the officers thanked me to which I replied "we have a duty to help each other" and that made an impression on that officer. I then grabbed his hand and thanked him for "what he does for the community." The officer was visibly taken aback. *I love doing that. It makes that guy's day a little better.

[Ricklin]

I fully agree 10 ring. I rarely miss an opportunity to thank those that serve and protect us.

My kudos today are for my local fire department. Had a fire at my place, their incredibly quick response saved my home.

My thanks to the Longview, WA fire department.

[Don Fischer]

Depends on my gut feeling. Generally I'm alright done it a lot. Spent a lot of years driving OTR trucks and have done it a lot. I don't view every person I see as some kind of ax killer! Of course I also have a gun close by. It's sad to me to pass someone that really needs help, at least I think it is.

Where I live, help if your broke down is a long way off! Closest gas and food is 35 mi. I've pretty much soured on letting people have gas unless they have the money with them. One time to many I've let people have gas with no money but a promise to mail it to me. Have never had anyone mail it to me. Oh yea, the closest gas station is also 35 mi!

[Glenn E. Meyer]

One local scam around here is a guy runs up to you in a parking lot of Walmart and frantically yells that his wife's water just broke and he needs money to ....

I responded as I moved away from him that I'm calling 911 for an ambulance. Guess what he ran away!

[In The Ten Ring]

Ricklin,

That's great man! Very rarely is a fire department able to save a house, those usually burn up by the time the fire department can get there (former firefighter here).

Drop by there with a case of beer, a fruit basket, and a typed "thank you" letter.

Don, that's saying something man. Keep up the good work and may you remain safe doing it.

Glenn, I guess the guy needs money to clean up after that water spill? Drugs change the way brains work, the normal response to a woman in labor is to call an ambulance, not hand out money. SMH!

I ran into panhandlers not too long ago at a local gas station. I went back later and complained to the manager, he must have taken it seriously as I haven't been asked again.

[briandg]

You would expect something a little less drama Queenie.

The pan handling started in earnest after the ef5 tornado hit. Fema built hundreds of trailers outside of town on the biggest lot of empty space that they could find. Soon, people started appearing around that place with signs, many of them said 'homeless after tornado'. Homeless?

While several thousand left town because of the lack of housing and damaged infrastructure, as well as the hundreds of positions lost when businesses were literally scrubbed from the earth, others flocked here to get work in restoration and clean up. (Just a hint, taking a job in clean up allows one to hold a second job as a looter).

Every day, thousands of people were fed and sheltered and received medical care and a significant number of those people had travelled here just for the free food and benefits. Some of them played the card of missing relatives, you know, cousin Alf was living in his car right over there and we haven't heard nothing about him and YOU PEOPLE AIN'T DOING NOTHING ABOUT IT! there were many really bad people and many aggressive, even dangerous ones who came to ride the gravy train.

[In The Ten Ring]

Panhandlers in this area tend to be heroin addicts. Quite a bit of that in that town where this gas station is.

I once pulled into a gas station parking lot (behind the building) to apply for a job. I saw a man, sitting in the woods. I thought, "now what's he doing? Heroin injection?" I decided not to apply for work there. Gas station went out of business not long after.

[Ricklin]

We were going to deliver lunch to the crew, instead we made a more substantial donation to their widows and orphans fund. We sent the donation in that crews name.

[briandg]

I believe that many if not most of ours are genuinely homeless, lots of them just drunks or mentally damaged. There is a Christian mission but it requires everyone to be at every prayer service, and you might be surprised at how many people have tantrums rather than say a prayer. But if someone holds a five out the window, the panhandlers yell 'god bless'.

I actually took a few of the work for food ones home. Kind of worried me that I was being cased. I usually took them to my mother-in-law's house so I could get out of doing it myself and when they finished I generally paid them about ten an hour. Not going to give a guy a bag of groceries after he proved his honesty.

[In The Ten Ring]

Ricklin,

An even better idea, good thinking.

Briandg, I agree, I believe most homeless are due to mental illness and/or addiction of some sort.

Not surprised by the "blessings given for cash" personal codes. LOL

[jmr40]

I have, but it depends on the situation. I keep a set of tire plugs, tools, and an air compressor in all of my vehicles. I've plugged a few tires and aired them up. Mostly in some remote spots.

In early January I stopped to fill up about 1/2 mile from home. There was a young guy there (20ish) with an old Honda that had died. I tried to jump start him, but it was not working. Most likely a bad alternator. The kid was just getting off from work and lived in the next town over, 20 miles away. I had a good feeling about it and had nothing to do anyway so I gave him a ride home.

[briandg]

Now here's something that shows an extreme case of intentions and pavement to hell. Woman stopped her car in the left lane of a highway to save some DUCKLINGS. Motorcycle with a man and daughter on it hit the parked car, both died.

She was convicted of both criminal negligence and dangerous driving that led to death. Sentenced to ninety days in jail, 240 hours of public service, ten years without driving.

https://www.ctvnews.ca/canada/woman-...bars-1.2153205

Just being on foot on the highway carries a heavy fine here, meant to keep foot traffic out of driving lanes. Hitchers can be picked up on sight and arrested, or dumped at the next exit or destination

There have been times that I've stopped for critters, but not a highway, not on a lane,and certainly not DUCKLINGS.

[tony pasley]

When I see " will work for" signs being a small farmer I offer them work most beg off but some take me up and have turned out to do good work. One young couple accepted my offer for work and worked 2 days stacking hay on trailers, then helped rebuild a fence line then help unload the trailers into the hay loft. They worked for 5 days I paid them what was agreed from the start also gave them some food to travel on and a bonus because they worked hard without complaint. Yes those a few and far between but they are still out there.

[johnwilliamson062]

A while back living just off a university I dealt with pan handlers a lot. Never gave money as there are plenty of programs available if they want to go through the process. One time I was making a quick stop after the grocery and guy asked me for money in the parking lot saying he is hungry. I had a box of frosted mini wheats on the top of the pile in my trunk so I just grabbed them and tossed them to him. Guy looks surprised pauses a few seconds, then says "I don't have milk a spoon or bowl" I replied "neither do I. I just snack on them dry" and he threw the box into my trunk and mumbled under his breath as he walked away.

[In The Ten Ring]

I could not imagine running over ducklings!

If at all possible, I avoid critters in the road, and I would most certainly try to help a momma and her babies across if I could do so safely.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGMzGxeO1wQ

I always stop and carry turtles across although once a baby snapper PEED ON ME when I picked him up. I didn't drop him though and took him on across, putting him into the water in the ditch. I washed my hand off in the ditch and put on some hand sanitizer.

The passenger of a stopped van gave me a slow clap.

[briandg]

Okay, out on a crazy deep rural road I was approaching a stop sign and a lizard ran across the road. Slammed on the brakes. Seriously, who wants to run over a poor little lizard? My brother in law was wearing his belt, good for him, saving that lizard might have broken his nose without the belt.

Yep, I can imagine what would have happened if someone had been riding my bumper. I probably would have run over the lizard.

[Cheapshooter]

Recently near a Southwest Missouri town popular with tourists a young man on his way home from a local establishment saw a young lady on the side of the road. Her car "obviously" was having trouble. He stopped, and got out to see if he could help. Then two men jumped from the darkness, hit him in the head knocking him to the ground. One jumped in his car, and drove off. Followed by the young lady, and other male assailant in the "obviously" broken down car.
The proper response, if you are concerned about your own safety, and life as well as the supposedly stranded motorist. In Missouri *55 on your cell phone connects you directly to the Highway Patrol who will then send the appropriate help. Of course the young man in the story also couldn't call anybody. His phone was in the car that was stolen.

[Lohman446]

The thing is we are not all living safely behind gated walls with our long guns having all our purchases sent via carrier*. We do go out in the community, we do expose ourselves to risk, and we do attempt to be prepared for it. Stopping, or not, is simply a continuation of how we balance risk with being part of society.

*safety no longer guaranteed apparently. https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/...nts/416955002/

[OldMarksman]

If predators need a different car, or money, or a hostage with an ATM card, there are several ways to go about obtaining those things.

Setting a trap by posing as a motorist in need is a tried and true strategy for that.