Do you ever pull over and help strangers?

[JohnKSa]

I have, and I may again, depending on the circumstances. I admit that I became a lot more careful once my situation changed such that my not making it home would have a significant negative impact on my family's future. At one time it was only my safety at stake, now I have to consider the impact on others as well.

The unfortunate thing is that it's very difficult to assess someone on the side of the road to determine if helping them will be safe. And as much as we might like to think that the danger of helping such people is a relatively new issue, it is not.

My late grandfather, many, many years ago, worked for the highway department and did a lot of driving in his job. He would occasionally pick people up and give them rides. That stopped the day that one man told him, as he was exiting the car, that he had gotten in the car with the intent of killing my grandfather and taking the vehicle but had changed his mind after getting to know him. Then he showed him the large screwdriver that was the intended murder weapon. It was something of an eye-opener for him.

[In The Ten Ring]

Sounds like your grandfather's kindness made an impact on exactly the kind of person that needed it the most. If your grandfather was a Christian, that sounded like the time for him to ask the man to give his life to Christ.

However, it seems like it turned your grandfather to fear instead of towards keeping up the good work.

Story sounds a lot like this one I found online just a few hours ago.

https://www.reddit.com/r/LetsNotMeet..._a_hitchhiker/

Are these sympathetic serial killers fairly common or is this sort of an urban myth?

***

It's impossible to completely assess someone on the side of the road. My guy last night, he did have a blow out. He was pulled over at the only space there was. He did have coal miner gear and anyone growing up where I did knows what that gear looks like. Was I a little hesitant? Yes, but I decided to risk it. While he was getting his gear I moved my .38 from right pants pocket to left coat pocket.

briandg's story of picking up the crazy lady sounds like something that would happen to me! In fact, she sounds a lot like a girl I took to church once. No joke, she went nuts in church, started screaming "NOBODY NEEDS A FATHER!" and it went downhill from there. I just wish I had it on video because it'd have to be worth a few million views at least.

[JohnKSa]

However, it seems like it turned your grandfather to fear instead of towards keeping up the good work.

Story sounds a lot like this one I found online just a few hours ago.

https://www.reddit.com/r/LetsNotMeet..._a_hitchhiker/

Are these sympathetic serial killers fairly common or is this sort of an urban myth?

I certainly can't speak to the authenticity of the story in the link you provided.

As far as the story I told, my grandfather is long dead so I can't ask him for more details or try to interrogate him to verify he was telling the truth. If you want to believe he was lying about the incident, or that he was a coward for changing his behavior, I guess that's up to you.

[In The Ten Ring]

And you really can't speak to the authenticity of the story your grandfather told you, but he's your family, and we tend to believe what family tells us and we can take it personally when a stranger questions what we were told.

I have no idea if either story is true but it's interesting the story exists, almost to the letter, elsewhere. Maybe it happened. Maybe your grandfather was trying to make you think before you picked up the wrong guy. That's not a bad thing.

Either way, it's a harmless enough story. Personal kindness overcomes the desire to kill. Bad guy, so moved by kindness, gives helpful advice.

Either way, you do think about it, and you wanted us to think about it also.

[JohnKSa]

And you really can't speak to the authenticity of the story your grandfather told you...

Right, that's pretty much what I said. The incident happened before I was born so there's obviously no way I could have witnessed it. I choose to believe him, but if you choose to believe he was lying because the incident doesn't fit your narrative then that's up to you.

[kozak6]

When I was young and had just gotten my car, I gave a woman a ride.

She was rude and ungrateful, demanded we stop for a pack of smokes (and to smoke in my car or wait for her to finish a smoke break) and she had only needed to go about 2-3 miles anyways. She could have passed for homeless or an addict, and I can't believe I helped her. I should have kept driving, and I'm very lucky things turned out ok.

Helped another guy with a jump start once. Decent neighborhood, decent truck, guy seemed ok. Nothing seemed suspect, and it turned out ok.

Working retail for a few years has hardened my heart, though. I'm not feeling terribly charitable at all these days.

Are these sympathetic serial killers fairly common or is this sort of an urban myth?

Who knows? The FBI has a Highway Serial Killings Initiative. Apparently, 750 murder victims were found along or near highways between 2004 and 2016, the majority of which were lot lizards killed by truckers.

[Prndll]

I have from time to time helped push a stalled vehicle off the road and into a safer spot (thinking of that person and of the ensuing traffic jam). I still hold the door for people and usually get thanked and sometimes I'll get asked for directions, so I give the best answer I know how.

Life has changed and it's become so difficult to just be nice to people. It is sad but it can make a person somewhat jaded.

[Lohman446]

For me it has to do with two things: as noted before cell phone coverage in my area is hit or miss depending on place, time of day, and carrier. That and no one seems to dress for winter. I quit carrying a "snatch" strap in my truck and now carry two chains because I got sick of people saying "back up and hit it harder". Nope. If I can pull you out gently with a chain I'll do it - need more you should call a wrecker. As my family owns a local wrecker company pulling people out ultimately costs me money and no I am not going to be one of the people who go "give me twenty bucks and I'll pull you out" with my truck. Either I do it or I tell you to call a wrecker.

Interesting story. The village about 8 miles from my house has a couple questionable areas - one that is pretty well known to manufacture meth. No big deal and most people don't give it much thought because there are so few people its not that big of a deal (yeh I know). I had been working building a bridge over the creek one day and needed to go pick up something from the hardware store. I got in my car and headed towards the village hardware. Along the way was a lady walking which really threw me. Not someone I recognized and I pulled over and asked if she needed help. She just wanted a ride to the gas station and I was about four miles away from where she wanted to go. The ditches in this area could easily conceal someone so I was at least paying some attention. She opened the door and looked at me a moment. I was going to the hardware store in town and may have been loosely concealing my pistol or just open carrying. She asked me "are you a cop" and when I told her no she got in anyways and proceeded to explain she didn't like cops.

It kind of threw me a little but not enough to be concerned. To the point of the presence of other people influencing things. Its true. Around my house it might be a long while before the next potential help comes by.

[Siggy-06]

Where I live now? Nope. In my old home town, I didnt mind giving someone a jump or help change a tire. No hitchhikers for me. Luckily I live in an area that has excellent cell coverage, and I have AAA if I ever need a tow.

[briandg]

it is a simple fact that is easily confirmed that people are increasingly found to have mental illness, people are increasingly turning to both violent and petty crime, and in many jurisdictions and regions, violence increases with every year. our culture breeds uncivilized, even sociopathic behavior. people are rarely trained in how to behave properly and everywhere we turn the unspoken message is that being good is for sissies and dorks. we have reached a threshold, many years ago. when people trained their kids to be good, it increased the number of good people exponentially, raising hoodlums does the exact opposite. a sickly stunted tree growing in the wrong garden won't beget a fine orchard.

you can apply a law of entropy here. it takes energy to reduce chaos, and work to decrease it. many periods in world history contained great events that encouraged personal and cultural improvement while others encouraged entropy by apathy.

one on one influence can have more effect than an entire congregation. that's why we need to hold doors and say thank you, and assist others in need. there are those who can't be touched, but the effort should be made.

in all of the years that missionaries have served,its possible that the good influence made a difference.

i don't think i made that woman any less crazy, but helping the guy with the tire probably kept him from taking a bad day out on coworkers or the public.

we spend all of this time discussing how to react, but proactive steps like disarmingly smiling at the dangerous looking guy on the corner isn't part of our strategy

[doofus47]

Sometimes. Not late at night anymore. As a bottom line, I don't pick up hitch hikers anymore.

[briandg]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Billy_Cook_(criminal)

A typical hitchhiker story was billy cook, a sociopathic spree killer from 1950. He had an apparent breakdown of some sort, hitchhiked around the country, and killed a number of people while doing it. I suspect that most hitchhiker problems range to robbery or carjacking, rather than violence like rape or murder, but there is still enough danger on both sides to make it a risky behavior.

So is opening the door for a guy who has a sample pack full of magazines.

[Glenn E. Meyer]

Not really a good Samaritan but similar. When my car reached 256K miles it was prone to unexpected roadside adventures. Coming back from an IDPA match, my car decided to blow hoses and steam itself to death. Calling the AAA, the tow truck arrives.

On the way back, the driver acts what I do. I said that I was psych professor. So Mr. Driver starts telling me how he has to see a shrink for his anger control and violence. He can't talk to anyone for more than 10 minutes without flipping out.

Now, I have on full gun gear (quite concealed). Gun, mag, knives - the works. I think - oh, wow. Am I going to have to shoot the tow truck driver or go H2H/knife in the cab of the tow truck.

So, I say - really - tell me more about it. He starts to expound. I say - Hmm, so you feel that ... Tell me more.

Very Rogerian with unconditional positive regard and no explict suggestions.

I get home, say Bye Bye.

[stephen426]

I have helped people many times before and will continue to do so. I am a bit sexist and usually only stop for women. I know a woman can rob you and shoot you dead just as quick as any man, but I have sisters and daughters. My hope is that paying it forward will encourage others to do the same rather than leaving them alone and stranded on the side of the road.

I was heading back to grad school and there were about 4-5 girls stuck on the side of the road. I let them use my cell phone first to call whoever they needed to call and let them determine the best course of action. This was a while back so not everyone had a cell phone back then. They asked for a ride a few miles away so I obliged. I was thinking of what COULD happen if I wasn't the one stopping to help them. There are sick people out there and human trafficking is still a very real problem.

I know there are risks, but I believe we need to do good when we can. Approach from a distance if possible. Look for possible hiding places. Look at body language. Are there others around (witnesses deter crime)?

[In The Ten Ring]

I choose to believe him, but if you choose to believe he was lying because the incident doesn't fit your narrative then that's up to you

You used the terms "lying" and "coward," not me. I tend to believe people's stories unless I have reason not to, I just found it odd how similar the two stories were. I mentioned the oddity to my GF and she thinks maybe it was a way for hitch hikers to troll the Good Samaritan, and she used this quote as an example, "I could tell ya but then I'd have to kill ya," which anyone that's been around the military has probably heard before. It's not a real threat, just a bit of gallows humor but certain people could take it the wrong way.

The real tragedy is, how many people has that story prevented doing the right thing?

***
The last time I crossed NY was immediately after Winter Storm Stella hit in 2017. It was about 9 PM and I had just gotten into PA but I picked up a tail somewhere around Binghampton. The guy tailgated me into the rest stop, which I overlooked as "just another bad Yankee driver." I should have just kept going as I had never been tailgated going into a rest stop.

What I suspect they were doing was reading the plate to see I wasn't a local and making sure I was alone.

They pulled in front of the rest stop building while I went as far down the lot as I could go as I wanted seclusion to reload my weapons and continue my drive in comfort. However, most of the parking lot was blocked with deep snow and the spot I pulled into was reserved for police. I backed up but here came a guy from that car, running up to me. To his credit I could see both hands and he stayed about 5 feet from the car. I only rolled the window down about 2 inches. Here came the story!

"We're on our way to Buffalo, my child is in the car, and my wife is pregnant, we just need 7 more dollars to stay in a motel."

1). There were two other people in the car, and neither were children.
2). Who would be out, with child and pregnant wife, in sub freezing weather, the day after a winter storm that has shut down the interstate?
3). How do you get to Buffalo, which is in the north of New York, by driving south into Pennsylvania?

I calmly declined to which he began to stomp his feet, shake his fists, and scream obscenities. Since I had kept the car in gear and pointed at the exit, driving off was pretty easy. I reported what info I had to 911 and implored them to check it out.

See, I'm not always so trusting.

[In The Ten Ring]

Who knows? The FBI has a Highway Serial Killings Initiative. Apparently, 750 murder victims were found along or near highways between 2004 and 2016, the majority of which were lot lizards killed by truckers.

I may have stopped a lot lizard from being attacked once, at a rest stop. I am not sure she was a hooker but I've come to believe she was. Prostitution being illegal and yet, in constant demand, allows hookers to be easy targets. Predators know they are not missed. Ditto for the homeless.

A typical hitchhiker story was billy cook, a sociopathic spree killer from 1950. He had an apparent breakdown of some sort, hitchhiked around the country, and killed a number of people while doing it. I suspect that most hitchhiker problems range to robbery or carjacking, rather than violence like rape or murder, but there is still enough danger on both sides to make it a risky behavior.

It's possible John's grandpa may have run into that guy.....you just never know. I think the serial killer mentality is fairly common and I think if the conditions were right, people we would otherwise trust would kill in a heartbeat if they thought they could get away with it.

Glenn, your tow truck story reminds me of what happened to me in 2001. I had managed to get myself stuck on a section of road I really had no business on. I just couldn't get up out of that valley! It was likely an issue of wrong tires and back then, I didn't have a clue about tire chains. It was either sleep in the car all night till the snowplows cleared the road the next day or call a tow truck.

I called the local service and it turned out I went to high school with the dispatcher so he cut me a deal for $50.00. I had that much in cash (good thing I didn't buy that ammo I saw at Walmart). The wrecker came and pulled me up the hill. Near the summit he said "you know this will be a high dollar tow." I replied, "ya, I know, the dispatcher already quoted me $50.00."

The driver said "whoa! He doesn't set the prices---I do! It'll be $200.00." I (suddenly very happy I was armed as this man made three of me) replied "really? I tell you what. We'll call your dispatcher back and while he's thinking your comments over I'll call a deputy to come out and talk that over with you."

The wrecker driver said "OK, $50.00 is fine." I should have pushed to have the man fired but I let it go. I now carry tire chains in winter and don't drive on roads I don't need to be on.

[briandg]

We have had a surge in panhandling in my area, it was a very unusual thing up until a few years ago. They are illegally accosting people in parking lots now.

I have noticed that many of them try to break through the defenses by shaking your hand. Gain your trust and friendship. The first time this happened to me a few years ago, I had wife and was filling her car, while pump was running, swept my eyes over the lot again. Big dude in ratty clothes with backpack was approaching with haste, hand out. I swept back my denim jacket and had my pistol half drawn before he made a couple more steps. I have not drawn since then, now that I have experienced it, but those guys don't get my hand, and I've suggested that he step back once. More than once I've reached into the jacket to give notice that there was a potential for danger. Not brandished a weapon, just a strong hint. There have been cars stolen and occasional hold ups at places here in those same few years.

Don't tell me that I'm over reacting. If you are about to be robbed or attacked, it looks just the same as being asked to voluntarily give money until information is available. anyone who is "normal" will have learned not to sneak up behind a person, I THINK. maybe scaring a person is a good thing? In any case, a person who appears out of the darkness behind you should be considered a possible risk, and unlike a hitchhiker, driving on isn't an option.

Two cars were stolen from a nearby lot just a couple of weeks ago, people left the things running. Just yesterday I was out, parked and got gas, went in for a coke, and there was a nice, oh so nice escalade or some such thing running on the parking lot near the door.

Really, people? No, it was not a decoy put there by police, it was a numb nutted nerd who was buying a drink. I never imagined that someone would walk away from a car unless they wanted it to be stolen.

Just to pass on info, I won't give money to panhandlers who approach me outside, but will throw things at the ones who sit at the side. rocks, bottles, (just kidding) If someone approaches me for "gas money" I offer to put ten into their tank, just pull up and I'll fill it. Nobody has done so.

early last summer I was out and stopped for gas and a drink. Couple of kids were trying to by ONE drink, her card was declined, they said that they didn't have the full $1.50. the woman running the register took the cup back and told them to move on.

"oh, for the love of god! You are going to pour it out?"

I told the kids that I was buying and to go get another drink so they didn't have to share, make it a big one, pick out some food, get on their way down the highway. they declined my offer but took the drink.

Point to that is that I don't believe in giving money to panhandlers. I'll feed them or help them some other way.

[briandg]

Ten ring, billy cook is properly defined as a spree killer. They have different motivations and different methods. His crimes were a random, disorganized, seat of his pants thing. No planning whatsoever, a result of a total breakdown of some sort. He had kept his life under control until then, but god knows if there were other bodies in other mines before he left. Depression era joplin wasn't sweet and innocent. Bonnie and clyde even lived here for a time and there was an infamous shootout just at the south edge of town.

Ten ring, we also have a gouging law here. Increasing prices of any kind due to natural disaster or act of god is illegal. I think that gas is allowed to go up a few percent. Grocery gouging will be investigated. Hotels had better not exceed the posted prices, that brings in the state atty general. Increasing the price of towing because of weather is not allowed, etc. The exception is for independents who are allowed to set their own prices without regulation.

When we had the tornado several years ago there was gouging on building supplies and the atty general stepped in. You don't want to do that stuff when it is on the heels of a nationally publicized weather emergency.

[bassJAM1]

I’ve stopped once, I was 20ish and with a buddy and we saw a car have a blowout in front of us. Overweight guy in his 50’s got out and when he saw us told us all about his bad back and how he was on disability and wasn’t sure if he could physically change a tire. My buddy and I changed out his spare while he leaned over us watching every move. Then he said he’d offer us money but he had just spent his last dollar on a frozen pizza for him and his ma. I could see his wallet in the car and cash hanging out of it so I knew he was lying, but I wouldn’t have accepted any money anyway.

I have pulled over and rolled down my window to ask people if they need help. In these days of cell phones, they always tell me someone is on their way. I’m also a bald guy with a full beard and it’s typically women stopped, so they may just be a little afraid of a stranger which I completely understand.

I was grateful a few years ago that someone stopped and helped my wife. It had snowed that day and her normal route home from work was closed due to a wreck. She tried calling me to find another route but I was in a meeting and didn’t answer so she ended up calling my brother (we had just married so she was new to the area). My brother sent her down THE steepest hill in the county, which is windy and a one lane road on top of that. My wife got 1/3 of the way down the road, started sliding on the snow and stopped in right in the middle of the road. Then she started crying and calls me again. I was 45 minutes away but left work right away to go help her. But some local guy shows up a few minutes later, gets out and asks if he can help. He offered to help her out, and desperate my wife agreed. So my wife gets out of her CRV, also gets out my step-daughter (yeah, there was a scared 4 year old in the car as well) and the guy drives her car down the hill and all then way back up until it’s on flat pavement. I know my wife was terrified this guy was either going to murder her and her daughter, or just run off with her SUV but everything ended up being fine.

[briandg]

Then there are women who marry serial killers like ted bundy, but won't let the phone repair man check out her lines. It's unfortunate that we aren't more uniformity nature and predictable.

[briandg]

Snow may be the achilles' heel for women. I once did that exact thing, but it was getting out of her drive, uphill, so she could go down the hill. Not a crv, but another crossover. I suggested that she come back from the east, to avoid the hill, and she got Snotty.

I have never passed a person in snow unless there are numerous people there. A snow event is unplanned. The chance that a bandit is waiting by a car that's off of the road must be pretty slim, yet leaving the old guy out in the snow could kill him.

Should you guys disagree about taking the chance and helping the snow bound, consider this.

Snow and exertion Bring on heart attacks, a confirmable fact. A person with existing heart trouble who is shoveling his car out can die right where they stand. A friend of mine is a body builder, strength coach at a gym. We both smoke cigars, nicotine is bad for the heart.

He lit a cigar and shoveled eight inches of snow by hand, felt bad when he was through, and hours later drove himself to the er through eight inches of snow. Christ, he had a terrible attack while shoveling, they said that his physical condition was all that saved him.

If you have any Christian spirit, no matter who it is, stop for people with winter problems if you can. I'm begging you.

[Mainah]

I do, but not for everyone. If I’m in a high traffic area with good phone service I keep driving and assume help will arrive. On rural roads I will help folks if I feel safe in doing so, I don’t always feel safe enough to stop. But I always make sure to report someone in potential distress to emergency response.

[mr bolo]

no, most people have a phone or I can see them making a call

one time in heavy traffic my alternator went out and the car died at the stop light, and a man with his family traveling from CANADA asked if I needed a push? and all his kids got out and pushed my vehicle across the intersection and into a parking lot at a supermarket.

I still stop to do this type of assistance for an emergency, but dont pick up hitchikers or people on the side of the hwy with a back pack.

If I saw an old lady or elderly man with a flat tire I would help him change it

[Evan Thomas]

I seem to be the person who's approached in store parking lots by women and old people who need help. The first time it happened, I was in my early 30s, and the woman was quite elderly. She came up to my car window and asked if I could give her a ride back to her senior-living apartment building, as she wasn't feeling well. All my big-city survival instincts kicked in, and it took a second to convince myself that this 80-something lady wasn't going to mug me.

Usually it's someone whose car won't start. Apparently I look like the sort of person who has jumper cables...

I only ever pick up hitchhikers in canoe country, and then only if they're carrying their life jacket and paddle. That's that "social variables" thing Glenn mentioned.

[hdwhit]

In the Ten Ring asked:
So, do you ever give rides to strangers?

Yes.

Do you ever pull over and help those in need?

More often than I give rides to strangers.

Was I armed? Of course. Would I have given him a ride if I hadn't of been?

I am rarely armed, but I stop anyway.