Absurdity warning! Contents of this thread may be tired or worn out!

spacemanspiff · July 29, 2005, 02:43 PM

so you're driving to work one day and you turn the corner to find yourself 25 yards away from a goose-stepping foreign army wearing funny looking helmets. you have your everyday carry glock 20 with 6 standard cap mags of powrball, and your trusty vepr with 10 fully loaded 75 rd drum mags.
what pose are you going to take as your picture is taken over the bodies of the 50,000 enemy soldiers you singlehandedly took out?

Trip20 · July 29, 2005, 02:56 PM

Please go here whilst theres still time.

skidmark · July 29, 2005, 03:31 PM

There will be no pictures of me standing on top of a mound of cold, dead bodies, because I carry a .45 ACP semi-automatic pistol (death to tupperwear toys), a weapon firing a bullet second only to the dreaded .50 BMG.

That being the case, the 50,000 goose-stepping, funny looking helmet wearing foreign army will surrender and I will become the modern-day Sgt. Alvin York without having to fire a single shot.

Please be sure that the photographer knows enough to use a bounce flash, as a direct flash will cause reflection from my tin-foil hat to create a false image of a halo, thus hiding the real one that shines behind me as I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death.

chris in va · July 29, 2005, 05:54 PM

You guys are seriously, seriously messed up.

mantis7 · July 29, 2005, 06:02 PM

BillCA · July 29, 2005, 09:31 PM

Owwwwie!

In regards to your scenario...
Look at the gearshift -- see that little "R" on there?

I dunno how fast a Dodge 4x4 will go in reverse, in 4WD with the throttle wide open, but I'd know about 30 seconds after rounding that corner!

**JohnKSa** · July 29, 2005, 09:39 PM

That's ridiculous... :barf:

Assuming you have one up the pipe in both guns you could only kill 842 of them unless you're killing more than one per shot.

swmike · July 29, 2005, 09:53 PM

Unless he lined them up just right and used ball ammo. Lots of penetration, you know.

After all when overwhelmed, innovate.

Capt. Charlie · July 29, 2005, 10:28 PM

Definitely the Captain Morgan stance! You know, one knee up high and arms crossed? Then again, too much Captain Morgan, and I'll be prone with the rest of the stiffs

**JohnKSa** · July 29, 2005, 10:37 PM

Ok, assuming he has 842 rounds on him, how many can he kill if they line up just right?

I'm thinking no more than 10 per shot to put a very liberal limit on it... so that still only gives him 8,420 down.

He's going to have to kill the other 41,580 with his tactical folding knife. Unfortunately it's going to get dull after a few thousand kills. Obviously he'll need to carry a sharpening stone.

USP45usp · July 29, 2005, 11:11 PM

John,

You don't know the Spiff Man, He's, well, tactical and stuff. He's into the Carbon Fiber so he has the laptop to take out at least 1,000 of them and then he is a ninjatudeness type of guy that can take out around 35,000 without them seeing him, He is +10000 on ninjatude you know.

And to top it all off, he's got this EVIL, EVIL dude that suplies him with arms by the name of "DangerboyWildAlaskaDon'tMessWithMe" dude that brings in all types of bad arms to the peaceful, and cuddly bear friendly area, of Alaska (were they peaceniks hug the Polar Bears when they get a chance... funny thing is... there isn't that many peaceniks left anymore

).

So you have to realize that yes, with the help of the crazy man, Spacemanspiff can indeed do what he has said. I've learned that you don't mess with a man from Alaska with Ninjatude!

Wayne

joab · July 29, 2005, 11:23 PM

Quote:

I'm thinking no more than 10 per shot to put a very liberal limit on it... so that still only gives him 8,420 down.

Won't some of the UN Peacekeepers have guns that they will no longer be using?

Wildalaska · July 29, 2005, 11:56 PM

Cant use the Glock it will kaboom with the first shot

WildanyacanthitnothinwithaveprAlaska

spacemanspiff · July 30, 2005, 12:39 AM

blasphemy!

**JohnKSa** · July 30, 2005, 01:17 AM

Quote:

he's got this EVIL, EVIL dude that suplies him with arms by the name of...

Crikey! Spiff AND WildtheycallmeKenAlaska against 50,000 troops...

Won't anybody help those poor troops? The HUMANITY!

They'll probably make the survivors shoot WA's .338

CajunBass · July 30, 2005, 07:13 AM

You got 25 yards from a foreign army and didn't know they were there? I guess this means you missed the morning news doesn't it?

Wildalaska · July 30, 2005, 12:17 PM

Quote:

They'll probably make the survivors shoot WA's .338

No thanks I dont want to be pilloried in the media for torturing prisoners

WildticklethemyeahthatsitletsticklealqaedaguystilltheytalkAlaska

SGHOTH · July 30, 2005, 12:23 PM

Getting back to the origional question. I think VEPR in the right hand, held high. Glock 20 in the left hand casually hanging and right foot up in the air on the pileus courpus.

Perhaps with the chin up and head held high. Slight smirk, corner of the mouth type.

SamD · July 30, 2005, 01:25 PM

IF I happened to come into posession of any plastic, it'll be C4 not Austrian Tupperware.

Not much of a photo op after using that. :barf: I don't do pix anywho. They always get my bad side with the scars.
Sam

Superhornet · August 1, 2005, 08:22 AM

If you happen to come upon a scene like that....step out of the car unarmed, put you head between you legs and kiss you butt goodbye.............

Avizpls · August 1, 2005, 08:40 AM

I can't believe this thread is still running away unlocked

spacemanspiff · August 1, 2005, 11:12 AM

oh i'm sorry aviz, is this taking precious seconds away from everyone elses ninja fantasies of stopping hordes of terrorists on planes, trains and automobiles?

Avizpls · August 1, 2005, 11:38 AM

haha, I dont know. You'll have to take that up with them.

Billy Sparks · August 1, 2005, 11:51 AM

The bad thing is that I probably couldn't get time off from work to stop the hordes. Hmmm maybe I can have my boss micro manage them...that has done wonders for my moral.

spacemanspiff · August 1, 2005, 12:04 PM

achmed: mrs sparks, can billy come out and play 'stop the jihad' with us?

mrs sparks: no achmed, billy has to finish completing the cover pages for his TPS reports. maybe tomorrow he can play with you.

July 29, 2005, 02:43 PM	#1
spacemanspiff Senior Member Join Date: January 16, 2002 Location: alaska Posts: 3,498	Absurdity warning! Contents of this thread may be tired or worn out! so you're driving to work one day and you turn the corner to find yourself 25 yards away from a goose-stepping foreign army wearing funny looking helmets. you have your everyday carry glock 20 with 6 standard cap mags of powrball, and your trusty vepr with 10 fully loaded 75 rd drum mags. what pose are you going to take as your picture is taken over the bodies of the 50,000 enemy soldiers you singlehandedly took out? __________________ "Every man alone is sincere; at the entrance of a second person hypocrisy begins." - Ralph Waldo Emerson "People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use." - Soren Kierkegaard

July 29, 2005, 03:31 PM	#3
skidmark Senior Member Join Date: January 27, 2005 Location: Richmond VA - home of a street full of second-place trophies. Posts: 151	There will be no pictures of me standing on top of a mound of cold, dead bodies, because I carry a .45 ACP semi-automatic pistol (death to tupperwear toys), a weapon firing a bullet second only to the dreaded .50 BMG. That being the case, the 50,000 goose-stepping, funny looking helmet wearing foreign army will surrender and I will become the modern-day Sgt. Alvin York without having to fire a single shot. Please be sure that the photographer knows enough to use a bounce flash, as a direct flash will cause reflection from my tin-foil hat to create a false image of a halo, thus hiding the real one that shines behind me as I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death. Last edited by skidmark; July 29, 2005 at 03:34 PM. Reason: I can't spel werth a dorn

July 29, 2005, 06:02 PM	#5
mantis7 Member Join Date: July 29, 2005 Posts: 21	Mine would be something like this

July 29, 2005, 09:31 PM	#6
BillCA Senior Member Join Date: November 28, 2004 Location: Silicon Valley, Ca Posts: 7,117	Owwwwie! In regards to your scenario... Look at the gearshift -- see that little "R" on there? I dunno how fast a Dodge 4x4 will go in reverse, in 4WD with the throttle wide open, but I'd know about 30 seconds after rounding that corner! __________________ BillCA in CA (Unfortunately)

July 29, 2005, 09:39 PM	#7
JohnKSa Staff Join Date: February 12, 2001 Location: DFW Area Posts: 24,972	That's ridiculous... :barf: Assuming you have one up the pipe in both guns you could only kill 842 of them unless you're killing more than one per shot. __________________ Do you know about the TEXAS State Rifle Association?

July 29, 2005, 02:56 PM	#2
Trip20 Senior Member Join Date: March 21, 2005 Posts: 2,181	Please go here whilst theres still time.

July 29, 2005, 05:54 PM	#4
chris in va Senior Member Join Date: December 26, 2004 Location: Louisville KY Posts: 13,806	You guys are seriously, seriously messed up.

July 29, 2005, 09:53 PM	#8
swmike Senior Member Join Date: June 25, 2005 Location: Marysville, WA Posts: 670	Unless he lined them up just right and used ball ammo. Lots of penetration, you know. After all when overwhelmed, innovate. __________________ My definition of Gun Control--- A steady grip and hitting your target. "In God we trust, all others are suspects." "If I shoot all the ammo I am carrying, either I won't need any more, or more won't be of any help". ____________________________________________

July 29, 2005, 10:28 PM	#9
Capt. Charlie Moderator Emeritus Join Date: March 24, 2005 Location: Steubenville, OH Posts: 4,446	Definitely the Captain Morgan stance! You know, one knee up high and arms crossed? Then again, too much Captain Morgan, and I'll be prone with the rest of the stiffs __________________ TFL Members are ambassadors to the world for firearm owners. What kind of ambassador does *your* post make *you?* I train in earnest, to do the things that I pray in earnest, I'll never have to do. --Capt. Charlie

July 29, 2005, 10:37 PM	#10
JohnKSa Staff Join Date: February 12, 2001 Location: DFW Area Posts: 24,972	Ok, assuming he has 842 rounds on him, how many can he kill if they line up just right? I'm thinking no more than 10 per shot to put a very liberal limit on it... so that still only gives him 8,420 down. He's going to have to kill the other 41,580 with his tactical folding knife. Unfortunately it's going to get dull after a few thousand kills. Obviously he'll need to carry a sharpening stone. __________________ Do you know about the TEXAS State Rifle Association?

July 29, 2005, 11:11 PM	#11
USP45usp Junior member Join Date: May 17, 2000 Location: Eugene, OR Posts: 3,427	John, You don't know the Spiff Man, He's, well, tactical and stuff. He's into the Carbon Fiber so he has the laptop to take out at least 1,000 of them and then he is a ninjatudeness type of guy that can take out around 35,000 without them seeing him, He is +10000 on ninjatude you know. And to top it all off, he's got this EVIL, EVIL dude that suplies him with arms by the name of "DangerboyWildAlaskaDon'tMessWithMe" dude that brings in all types of bad arms to the peaceful, and cuddly bear friendly area, of Alaska (were they peaceniks hug the Polar Bears when they get a chance... funny thing is... there isn't that many peaceniks left anymore ). So you have to realize that yes, with the help of the crazy man, Spacemanspiff can indeed do what he has said. I've learned that you don't mess with a man from Alaska with Ninjatude! Wayne

July 29, 2005, 11:56 PM	#13
Wildalaska Junior member Join Date: November 25, 2002 Location: In my own little weird world in Anchorage, Alaska Posts: 14,172	Cant use the Glock it will kaboom with the first shot WildanyacanthitnothinwithaveprAlaska

July 30, 2005, 12:39 AM	#14
spacemanspiff Senior Member Join Date: January 16, 2002 Location: alaska Posts: 3,498	blasphemy! __________________ "Every man alone is sincere; at the entrance of a second person hypocrisy begins." - Ralph Waldo Emerson "People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use." - Soren Kierkegaard

July 30, 2005, 07:13 AM	#16
CajunBass Senior Member Join Date: May 6, 2005 Location: North Chesterfield, Virginia Posts: 4,767	You got 25 yards from a foreign army and didn't know they were there? I guess this means you missed the morning news doesn't it? __________________ For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16 (NKJV)

July 30, 2005, 12:23 PM	#18
SGHOTH Senior Member Join Date: June 5, 2004 Posts: 452	Getting back to the origional question. I think VEPR in the right hand, held high. Glock 20 in the left hand casually hanging and right foot up in the air on the pileus courpus. Perhaps with the chin up and head held high. Slight smirk, corner of the mouth type.

July 30, 2005, 01:25 PM	#19
SamD Senior Member Join Date: May 18, 2004 Location: Nueva Mexico Posts: 166	IF I happened to come into posession of any plastic, it'll be C4 not Austrian Tupperware. Not much of a photo op after using that. :barf: I don't do pix anywho. They always get my bad side with the scars. Sam __________________ "It's too late to work within the system, but too early to shoot the bastards"

August 1, 2005, 08:22 AM	#20
Superhornet Senior Member Join Date: March 24, 2005 Location: florida Posts: 292	If you happen to come upon a scene like that....step out of the car unarmed, put you head between you legs and kiss you butt goodbye.............

August 1, 2005, 08:40 AM	#21
Avizpls Senior Member Join Date: November 9, 2004 Posts: 774	I can't believe this thread is still running away unlocked

August 1, 2005, 11:12 AM	#22
spacemanspiff Senior Member Join Date: January 16, 2002 Location: alaska Posts: 3,498	oh i'm sorry aviz, is this taking precious seconds away from everyone elses ninja fantasies of stopping hordes of terrorists on planes, trains and automobiles? __________________ "Every man alone is sincere; at the entrance of a second person hypocrisy begins." - Ralph Waldo Emerson "People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use." - Soren Kierkegaard

August 1, 2005, 11:38 AM	#23
Avizpls Senior Member Join Date: November 9, 2004 Posts: 774	haha, I dont know. You'll have to take that up with them.

August 1, 2005, 11:51 AM	#24
Billy Sparks Senior Member Join Date: December 10, 1999 Location: Winston-Salem, NC 27105 Posts: 745	The bad thing is that I probably couldn't get time off from work to stop the hordes. Hmmm maybe I can have my boss micro manage them...that has done wonders for my moral.

August 1, 2005, 12:04 PM	#25
spacemanspiff Senior Member Join Date: January 16, 2002 Location: alaska Posts: 3,498	achmed: mrs sparks, can billy come out and play 'stop the jihad' with us? mrs sparks: no achmed, billy has to finish completing the cover pages for his TPS reports. maybe tomorrow he can play with you. __________________ "Every man alone is sincere; at the entrance of a second person hypocrisy begins." - Ralph Waldo Emerson "People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use." - Soren Kierkegaard