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Old October 9, 2015, 08:03 PM   #1
James K
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Intruder

On the other hand, a gun might not be needed to teach an intruder a lesson. Here is an old story for those who might not have heard it.

A family in Arizona returned home from a trip and, as they stopped in front of their house, noticed that their front door was open. Knowing they had locked it, they took the prudent approach and called the police.
A police officer checked out the home and discovered an intruder, completely naked, hiding in the hall closet. The nude man shoved the officer aside and ran out the front door. Seeing the police car at the curb, the man then did a sharp left turn and vaulted the board fence into the yard of the next-door neighbor.
Unfortunately, the man had not properly “cased” the neighborhood. Had he done so, he would have learned that the neighbor was well known throughout the Southwest for his magnificent and yard-filling cactus collection.


Jim
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Old October 9, 2015, 08:20 PM   #2
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ROTFLMAO
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Old October 9, 2015, 09:46 PM   #3
A pause for the COZ
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D'oh!!!!!!!
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Old October 9, 2015, 11:09 PM   #4
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Quote:
Unfortunately, the man had not properly “cased” the neighborhood. Had he done so, he would have learned that the neighbor was well known throughout the Southwest for his magnificent and yard-filling cactus collection.
I once remember a story in the local paper about a man on PCP who climbed a cactus naked to run from the police. Seems to be a recurring theme.
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Old October 10, 2015, 03:06 AM   #5
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When I was a kid in Phoenix, Arizona, Mom was an ER nurse. They had a lot of drunks come in full of cacti, lots of kids, and every so often a policeman would bring someone in handcuffs to get the spines removed from him.

That story is not apocryphal at all.
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Old October 10, 2015, 03:18 AM   #6
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When I was a kid in Phoenix, Arizona, Mom was an ER nurse. They had a lot of drunks come in full of cacti, lots of kids, and every so often a policeman would bring someone in handcuffs to get the spines removed from him.

That story is not apocryphal at all.
It may be that there is a correlation between the Dumb gene and Cacti... maybe???
I wonder if the magnetic effect happens before or after they run? I mean If I put one in my front yard would it work like fly paper. Would I come out and see a bunch of Dumb Arses stuck to my cactus before they commit a crime??
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Old October 10, 2015, 01:05 PM   #7
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Hahaha! That's great.

They're like big zappers I guess!
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Old October 12, 2015, 09:40 AM   #8
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So, the moral of the story is "get enough cactus, and you can leave your door unlocked b/c no one will be able ro reach it."?
lol
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Old October 12, 2015, 09:59 AM   #9
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Actually, people have advised the placement of thorny bushes around windows.
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Old October 12, 2015, 11:29 AM   #10
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I have seen the thorny bushes by the windows suggestion many times, but I always wonder what happens when there is a fire and the window is your only escape route... Better perforated than dead, I suppose.
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Old October 12, 2015, 05:24 PM   #11
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My gun draw is nothing to brag about, but my cactus raising is a WHOLE LOT slower!
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Old October 12, 2015, 09:07 PM   #12
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I have seen the thorny bushes by the windows suggestion many times, but I always wonder what happens when there is a fire and the window is your only escape route... Better perforated than dead, I suppose.
Keep heavy blankets handy to throw over the cacti or to wrap yourself
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Old October 14, 2015, 07:02 AM   #13
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funny stuff, but very dependent on chance, 'what if', and 'maybe'. I'll stick with better locks, and a shotgun.
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Old October 14, 2015, 09:22 PM   #14
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OldMarksman
Quote:
people have advised the placement of thorny bushes around windows.
I'm actually on that landscaping plan. Except my cactus kept driving my wife crazy, so we've backed off.
I guess that the baseline is "make sure you bring enough cactus."
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