In need of advice guys

ShottyTim · August 31, 2005, 08:20 PM

Hey guys, I have started to rever this site as my bible so to speak when it comes to life around firearms and such, and I have a genuine question.....My uncle started using cocaine, and this came as a shock to the family because, my family is tight knit, and I guess you could call us middle to upper class, so this type of thing was almost unheard of to us, he went down the hill, lost his house, his cars, he even went as far as driving two hours from my house to mine/grandfathers mountain house and pretty much cleaned the place out including my granpas mossberg hes had forever and a few other various firearms, then he proceeded to libe there, since we only go up around twice a year, he was later picked up for stealing a truck and a tank of gas, he was just released yesterday, and I am to say the least worried, because my uncle became the one thing i fear above all, a crazed drug attic, I am 18 and i own a remington 870 HD and I have been trained to use said weapon from a former LEO who trained me how to clear a house/room, i guess my question is this, even though hes family would any of you use deadly force if he decided to break into my house, I guess im sorta the man of the house cause my dad is currently in Florida setting up a satellite office for his company, and hell be there for the better part of a year. Opinions, suggestions, as well as any other stuff would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks so much in advance

Tim

butch50 · August 31, 2005, 08:36 PM

I personally would not shoot a relative to protect property. To protect life, yes - but even then it would require extreme and extraordinary circumstances before I would even begin to consider it.

If he broke in and was stealing a TV, no way would I shoot my kin, no freaking way. I would tell him to take the TV and the micro-wave to boot.

stephen426 · August 31, 2005, 08:38 PM

Tim,

Just because you have a gun and know how to use it does not make it the best solution. Is your uncle a violent person and has he ever been arrested for assaulting anyone? Did he sell the weapons he sold for drug money or did he use them to rob people at gun point? If he has never shown himself to be a violent person, I think whipping out the shotgun would be a bad idea. I know drugged up people can be unpredictable but he is still your family. Besides, I'm sure your mom or dad would not appreciate you shooting their brother. If he busted and threatened you with a weapon, that changes the story quite a bit!

He needs help. I'm not making excuses for him, but if family won't help him, who will? I would say get an alarm system if you don't already have one and make sure he doesn't get the code. If he does visit in the middle of the night, you'll be alerted at least. I would ask your parents if they would even want you to call the cops or just invite him in and give him a place to crash for the night.

One word of caution though... Your uncle has a nasty habit and along with that comes nasty people. If he owes his dealer money, they may come after him. If he happens to be around you guys, it becomes your problem as well. I wouldn't hesistate to put one between the eyes of his drug dealer. Your uncle may also have some druggie friends that might want to crash at your place as well. I would say "sorry, no can do."

Sorry to hear about your situation. The son of a business aquaintance is a drug addict. He has told me about some of the problems and it is a really sad situation. His son's friend died of an overdose and that still didn't wake him up. I've heard that one really has to want to help themselves before anyone can help them. Take care.

Dwight55 · August 31, 2005, 08:47 PM

Tim, . . . my advice to you is simply that, . . . pastoral advice about one of the worst of society's cancers: drug abuse.

When you next see your uncle, . . . be civilized with him, . . . but tell him in no uncertain tone that you know he is a user, . . . that users often become thieves, . . . that they hang around with the totally wrong people, . . . and you will not have it coming around you.

Let him know that you love him enough that you will call the police if he shows up at your place with drugs, . . . stoned, . . . or looking for a place to hide from his creditors.

And then do it.

He will not believe you, . . . he'll play the uncle/nephew card for all it is worth, . . . he will rob you of all he can get, . . . he will bring the trash around you, your children, your wife, . . . and you will suffer for it.

He needs help, . . . and if he is not willing to provide it himself, . . . the local LEO's can.

May God bless,
Dwight

Henry Baker · August 31, 2005, 09:04 PM

I would shoot but only if it was 100% needed to save another life. I would try to maim, not kill him, of course. But remember bullets fired by uncles kill just as fast as bullets fired by thugs. I don't envy your position.

Best of luck,
Henry Baker

BloodyBucket03 · August 31, 2005, 09:10 PM

Tim, I feel real sorry for you I understand you situation. I had a few problems like that with my family. If my uncle was drugged out and tried to break into my home and steal from me I would raise my weapon on him, warn him that I would use deadly force and I would give him a chance to leave but if he made any type of move I would send him to his maker. First off if you steal from your family you are a low down filthy animal!!! Trust me Tim I know you feel sorry for your uncle but he put himself into his own situation. You are the man of your home since your father is gone. A person who is drugged out like your uncle would do anything to get the next fix, harm your mother you or anyone else. Protect your home. Don't let anything happen. If he broke in use your right to protect your home. As Men it is our duty to protect our home and our family from harm. Do what's right.

ShottyTim · August 31, 2005, 09:17 PM

guys i cant thank you enough for the responses, and believe me "pulling out my shotty" is the last option, but we have been down the road of trying to help him, he has extorted soo much money out of my grandparents its ridiculous, and if he needed a place to crash, i would happily let him, but the only reason he would come to my house would be to try and steal something, it was so bad, my mom happened to be buying him a hotel room for a night, when she found him out walking on a busy street all doped up, she drove him around till he sobered up, then got him a hotel room, and get this after all she has done for him, while she was in paying for the room, he stole or CD player that she leaves in her car for when she goes to the gym, It has gotten to the point where i dont see him as an uncle anymore, the uncle i once knew, would never steal from family, would never break into houses and steal, would never assault family for confronting him about it, just curious what yall thought, and in all respects i feel obligated to defend my house, dont get me wrong, i would never shoot anyone without life or death type agenda, but the fact and the matter is, he scares me, and he wouldnt, except when hes looking for a high or is high, he almost unstoppable, and i have been boxing for 8 years, and wrestling on and off, and hes around my size, and when hes like how he is, i wouldnt even think of trying, again guys thanks very much for your responses, kinda starting to open up my eyes, again thanks.

Tim

progunner1957 · August 31, 2005, 09:49 PM

Tim,

You have my sympathy - what a mess! If I were in your situation, the first thing I would do is get a restraining order against the uncle. I know, I know - it's not worth the paper it's written on as far as actually doing anything to protect you and your family, but it will accomplish two things: 1- It will tell your uncle in no uncertain terms to STAY AWAY from you and your family, and 2- it will help to cover you with regard to the court if things go bad and you do have to use deadly force against the uncle. I would think if you state to the authorities that your uncle is mentally unstable and that you fear for the safety of yourself and your family, that should do it as far as getting the restraining order.

IMHO, you need to establish with the powers that be that your uncle is potentially dangerous to you and your family. I have never gotten a restraining order against anyone, so you may want to get some legal advice from an attorney on how to do so. You should probably consult an attorney on this situation anyway, just to be clear on how to lawfully deal with your uncle.

Any time you have a problem with him, call 911 and get the Police on the scene to contain your uncle, and also to establish a legal paper trail on him, again to help cover you in case the worst comes to pass.

As far as using deadly force, I would not do so unless I was in immediate danger of grave bodily harm or death, or a family member was in danger of the same.

If you do have to use deadly force, be absolutely certain to tell the responding officer, "I was in fear for my life." In order to be lawfully justified in using deadly force to defend yourself or another person, that statement has to be 100% true.

Good luck and be safe, my friend.

Twycross · September 1, 2005, 12:35 AM

I am afraid I might sound a bit callous here.

My advice is just to view him as you would any other druggy. Don't let him into your house. If he asks for money, just give him what you would give to a street begger. If he steals something from you, report it to the police. +1 on the restraining order. If he forces his way into your house, treat it as you would any B&E. If he threatens you with deadly force, plug him. And any of his buddies/creditors who are joining in.

Just because he is 'family' does not give him some special dispensation to do what he wants. He is a common criminal, and should be treated as such. Yea, it will be hard, particularly if you had some sort of relationship with him. But that is the past. Keep strong.

-Rant off- (removes heart of stone)

Oddly enough, I also have an uncle who went over the edge. Not as far as your story, but enough that I see him as a potential threat. Fortunately, I never liked, or really knew him.

ShottyTim · September 1, 2005, 12:58 AM

guys cant thank you enough for the posts, really opening up my eyes.

Tim

jburtonpdx · September 1, 2005, 04:37 AM

Tim
Its over used and sort of a cliche - tough love, raise the bottom for him. I hope your mom understands this also- find an al-anon meeting, you dont have to attend or stay at the meeting, but pick up a bunch of pamphlets about co-dependancy and read them.

As other posters have stated - DO NOT LET HIS DISEASE HURT YOU. Your mom and you need to make it clear that he is not welcome around any of you while he is using anything, coke, pot, alcohol - nuthin. If he shows up at your house, call 911.

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/english.html

claude783 · September 1, 2005, 04:54 PM

God, these drugs turn otherwise decent people into the zombies.

My buddy, going back 30 years, has a son (age 36) who has gone down the drug road. He has spent time in prison, gets out, makes it for a short time, then falls down again.

His mental state isn't much higher than a parrot from all the drugs. Because of this, he steals, lies, and has no concept of decency.

His dad and mother have cried themselves to sleep many nights. They have also been in the situation where they almost had to put a bullet into their son when he was "high".

What you are looking at is no longer a man. Think of a demon from hell, something just using the body of your uncle. Sorry, but that is how I see it. Once the drugs become their life, they have sold their soul into hell!

I know the decison to use a gun to protect family against family is a terrible decison. Perhaps it begins to give you an idea of our Civil War (1860-1865) when father fought son, brother fought brother...I can only tell you to pray that something gets done, and that you are not put into the position of having to deal with it...one thing, don't let him in your home, your car, or your life!

Mannlicher · September 1, 2005, 05:57 PM

cut him off, and cut him out. I would flat out tell him that he is NOT welcome, and should NOT come around.
Been there, done that. It's not pretty.

coolridelude · September 1, 2005, 06:58 PM

that is a tough decsion. if he was on drugs when he tried to rob the house i would tell him to leave. now if he came towards me or my family he will be put down. druggs don't have any remorse they just want to get a fix. he will not see you as family only as another victum. so your choice is easy. if he goes to harm you or your family shoot.

you can only help someone so much. you have to think about your family. not his. i may sound cold hearted but. i ahve pulled a gun on my uncle he was an alcoholic.

my uncle had pushed my grandfather(his father) and my grandmother for money. i came home from school and they were on the floor. i ran to my room got my .410 and said " get out of here now or i will blow your stinking head off" i will not put up with drug addicts or boozers. if someone even family was going to hurt my loved ones. i will protect them at any cost.

huntatnight · September 1, 2005, 07:32 PM

As a retired LEO and trained hostage negotiator, I will give you a few words of respectful advice:

Be respectful to him and do not ever talk to him in a condescending way, always in a soft voice and remain calm,... if he is agitated he will have to calm down to hear what you are saying, However, be FIRM
Let him know you will help him,... moral support only if he tries to clean up
Do not give him money because you don't want it to become a habit, if you do he will see you as an easy mark and show up more often, maybe with "friends"
Keep your distance at all times if you can, if inside, keep a piece of furniture between you and he, if on the street avoid him if you can......
Watch your back, if you sense ANY trouble make every attempt with whatever excuse you need to get away
Call the police for every serious incident with him, and file a report. This will go a long way in regard to proving he is a danger to you and family.......
If a last resort, protect yourself and make damn sure it is justified......

tshadow6 · September 1, 2005, 08:53 PM

Most burglaries occur during the day, because honest people work. I would install good locks, a safe and not let Uncle in the house if possible. Killing someone you know makes the police look for motive.

Lawyer Daggit · September 1, 2005, 10:33 PM

I agree with most already written- most addicts will lie, cheat, steal and sell their own grandmother for their next fix.

Don't let him in the house and only shoot to protect life- not property.

I would suggest an ultimatum that you have nothing to do with him unless he completes a three month residential program and stays clean.

August 31, 2005, 08:20 PM	#1
ShottyTim Senior Member Join Date: June 4, 2005 Posts: 138	In need of advice guys Hey guys, I have started to rever this site as my bible so to speak when it comes to life around firearms and such, and I have a genuine question.....My uncle started using cocaine, and this came as a shock to the family because, my family is tight knit, and I guess you could call us middle to upper class, so this type of thing was almost unheard of to us, he went down the hill, lost his house, his cars, he even went as far as driving two hours from my house to mine/grandfathers mountain house and pretty much cleaned the place out including my granpas mossberg hes had forever and a few other various firearms, then he proceeded to libe there, since we only go up around twice a year, he was later picked up for stealing a truck and a tank of gas, he was just released yesterday, and I am to say the least worried, because my uncle became the one thing i fear above all, a crazed drug attic, I am 18 and i own a remington 870 HD and I have been trained to use said weapon from a former LEO who trained me how to clear a house/room, i guess my question is this, even though hes family would any of you use deadly force if he decided to break into my house, I guess im sorta the man of the house cause my dad is currently in Florida setting up a satellite office for his company, and hell be there for the better part of a year. Opinions, suggestions, as well as any other stuff would be greatly appreciated. Thanks so much in advance Tim __________________ Molon Labe meaning come and get them

August 31, 2005, 08:36 PM	#2
butch50 Senior Member Join Date: April 15, 2005 Location: Republic of Texas Posts: 1,403	I personally would not shoot a relative to protect property. To protect life, yes - but even then it would require extreme and extraordinary circumstances before I would even begin to consider it. If he broke in and was stealing a TV, no way would I shoot my kin, no freaking way. I would tell him to take the TV and the micro-wave to boot. __________________ ‘‘Among the many misdeeds of the British rule in India, history will look upon the act of depriving a whole nation of arms, as the blackest.’’ ~ Mahatma Ghandi, "Gandhi, An Autobiography", page 446 ‘‘The great object is that every man be armed. Everyone who is able may have a gun.’’ ~ Patrick Henry

August 31, 2005, 08:38 PM	#3
stephen426 Senior Member Join Date: March 11, 2005 Posts: 3,840	Tim, Just because you have a gun and know how to use it does not make it the best solution. Is your uncle a violent person and has he ever been arrested for assaulting anyone? Did he sell the weapons he sold for drug money or did he use them to rob people at gun point? If he has never shown himself to be a violent person, I think whipping out the shotgun would be a bad idea. I know drugged up people can be unpredictable but he is still your family. Besides, I'm sure your mom or dad would not appreciate you shooting their brother. If he busted and threatened you with a weapon, that changes the story quite a bit! He needs help. I'm not making excuses for him, but if family won't help him, who will? I would say get an alarm system if you don't already have one and make sure he doesn't get the code. If he does visit in the middle of the night, you'll be alerted at least. I would ask your parents if they would even want you to call the cops or just invite him in and give him a place to crash for the night. One word of caution though... Your uncle has a nasty habit and along with that comes nasty people. If he owes his dealer money, they may come after him. If he happens to be around you guys, it becomes your problem as well. I wouldn't hesistate to put one between the eyes of his drug dealer. Your uncle may also have some druggie friends that might want to crash at your place as well. I would say "sorry, no can do." Sorry to hear about your situation. The son of a business aquaintance is a drug addict. He has told me about some of the problems and it is a really sad situation. His son's friend died of an overdose and that still didn't wake him up. I've heard that one really has to want to help themselves before anyone can help them. Take care. __________________ The ATF should be a convenience store instead of a government agency!

August 31, 2005, 08:47 PM	#4
Dwight55 Senior Member Join Date: June 18, 2004 Location: Central Ohio Posts: 2,568	Tim, . . . my advice to you is simply that, . . . pastoral advice about one of the worst of society's cancers: drug abuse. When you next see your uncle, . . . be civilized with him, . . . but tell him in no uncertain tone that you know he is a user, . . . that users often become thieves, . . . that they hang around with the totally wrong people, . . . and you will not have it coming around you. Let him know that you love him enough that you will call the police if he shows up at your place with drugs, . . . stoned, . . . or looking for a place to hide from his creditors. And then do it. He will not believe you, . . . he'll play the uncle/nephew card for all it is worth, . . . he will rob you of all he can get, . . . he will bring the trash around you, your children, your wife, . . . and you will suffer for it. He needs help, . . . and if he is not willing to provide it himself, . . . the local LEO's can. May God bless, Dwight __________________ www.dwightsgunleather.com If you can breathe, . . . thank God! If you can read, . . . thank a teacher! If you are reading this in English, . . . thank a Veteran!

August 31, 2005, 09:10 PM	#6
BloodyBucket03 Senior Member Join Date: August 24, 2005 Location: Wake Forest, North Carolina Posts: 188	Tim, I feel real sorry for you I understand you situation. I had a few problems like that with my family. If my uncle was drugged out and tried to break into my home and steal from me I would raise my weapon on him, warn him that I would use deadly force and I would give him a chance to leave but if he made any type of move I would send him to his maker. First off if you steal from your family you are a low down filthy animal!!! Trust me Tim I know you feel sorry for your uncle but he put himself into his own situation. You are the man of your home since your father is gone. A person who is drugged out like your uncle would do anything to get the next fix, harm your mother you or anyone else. Protect your home. Don't let anything happen. If he broke in use your right to protect your home. As Men it is our duty to protect our home and our family from harm. Do what's right. __________________ "Better to fight for something than live for nothing."-General George S. Patton "He said to them, "But now if you have a purse, take it, and also a bag; and "if you don't have a sword, sell your cloak and buyone.'' Luke 22:36

August 31, 2005, 09:04 PM	#5
Henry Baker Senior Member Join Date: August 8, 2005 Location: Central Florida Posts: 199	I would shoot but only if it was 100% needed to save another life. I would try to maim, not kill him, of course. But remember bullets fired by uncles kill just as fast as bullets fired by thugs. I don't envy your position. Best of luck, Henry Baker

August 31, 2005, 09:17 PM	#7
ShottyTim Senior Member Join Date: June 4, 2005 Posts: 138	guys i cant thank you enough for the responses, and believe me "pulling out my shotty" is the last option, but we have been down the road of trying to help him, he has extorted soo much money out of my grandparents its ridiculous, and if he needed a place to crash, i would happily let him, but the only reason he would come to my house would be to try and steal something, it was so bad, my mom happened to be buying him a hotel room for a night, when she found him out walking on a busy street all doped up, she drove him around till he sobered up, then got him a hotel room, and get this after all she has done for him, while she was in paying for the room, he stole or CD player that she leaves in her car for when she goes to the gym, It has gotten to the point where i dont see him as an uncle anymore, the uncle i once knew, would never steal from family, would never break into houses and steal, would never assault family for confronting him about it, just curious what yall thought, and in all respects i feel obligated to defend my house, dont get me wrong, i would never shoot anyone without life or death type agenda, but the fact and the matter is, he scares me, and he wouldnt, except when hes looking for a high or is high, he almost unstoppable, and i have been boxing for 8 years, and wrestling on and off, and hes around my size, and when hes like how he is, i wouldnt even think of trying, again guys thanks very much for your responses, kinda starting to open up my eyes, again thanks. Tim __________________ Molon Labe meaning come and get them

August 31, 2005, 09:49 PM	#8
progunner1957 Junior member Join Date: November 9, 2004 Location: USA - east of the continental divide Posts: 924	Tim, You have my sympathy - what a mess! If I were in your situation, the first thing I would do is get a restraining order against the uncle. I know, I know - it's not worth the paper it's written on as far as actually doing anything to protect you and your family, but it will accomplish two things: 1- It will tell your uncle in no uncertain terms to STAY AWAY from you and your family, and 2- it will help to cover you with regard to the court if things go bad and you do have to use deadly force against the uncle. I would think if you state to the authorities that your uncle is mentally unstable and that you fear for the safety of yourself and your family, that should do it as far as getting the restraining order. IMHO, you need to establish with the powers that be that your uncle is potentially dangerous to you and your family. I have never gotten a restraining order against anyone, so you may want to get some legal advice from an attorney on how to do so. You should probably consult an attorney on this situation anyway, just to be clear on how to lawfully deal with your uncle. Any time you have a problem with him, call 911 and get the Police on the scene to contain your uncle, and also to establish a legal paper trail on him, again to help cover you in case the worst comes to pass. As far as using deadly force, I would not do so unless I was in immediate danger of grave bodily harm or death, or a family member was in danger of the same. If you do have to use deadly force, be absolutely certain to tell the responding officer, "I was in fear for my life." In order to be lawfully justified in using deadly force to defend yourself or another person, that statement has to be 100% true. Good luck and be safe, my friend.

September 1, 2005, 12:35 AM	#9
Twycross Senior Member Join Date: January 26, 2005 Location: Montana Posts: 1,187	I am afraid I might sound a bit callous here. My advice is just to view him as you would any other druggy. Don't let him into your house. If he asks for money, just give him what you would give to a street begger. If he steals something from you, report it to the police. +1 on the restraining order. If he forces his way into your house, treat it as you would any B&E. If he threatens you with deadly force, plug him. And any of his buddies/creditors who are joining in. Just because he is 'family' does not give him some special dispensation to do what he wants. He is a common criminal, and should be treated as such. Yea, it will be hard, particularly if you had some sort of relationship with him. But that is the past. Keep strong. -Rant off- (removes heart of stone) Oddly enough, I also have an uncle who went over the edge. Not as far as your story, but enough that I see him as a potential threat. Fortunately, I never liked, or really knew him. __________________ The test of character is not 'hanging in' when you expect light at the end of the tunnel, but performance of duty, and persistence of example when you know no light is coming. - Vice Admiral James Stockdale, USN (ret.) Last edited by Twycross; September 1, 2005 at 12:44 AM. Reason: Slight softening

September 1, 2005, 12:58 AM	#10
ShottyTim Senior Member Join Date: June 4, 2005 Posts: 138	guys cant thank you enough for the posts, really opening up my eyes. Tim __________________ Molon Labe meaning come and get them

September 1, 2005, 04:37 AM	#11
jburtonpdx Senior Member Join Date: February 22, 2005 Posts: 267	Tim Its over used and sort of a cliche - tough love, raise the bottom for him. I hope your mom understands this also- find an al-anon meeting, you dont have to attend or stay at the meeting, but pick up a bunch of pamphlets about co-dependancy and read them. As other posters have stated - DO NOT LET HIS DISEASE HURT YOU. Your mom and you need to make it clear that he is not welcome around any of you while he is using anything, coke, pot, alcohol - nuthin. If he shows up at your house, call 911. http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/english.html

September 1, 2005, 04:54 PM	#12
claude783 Senior Member Join Date: August 21, 2004 Location: people's republic of California Posts: 386	God, these drugs turn otherwise decent people into the zombies. My buddy, going back 30 years, has a son (age 36) who has gone down the drug road. He has spent time in prison, gets out, makes it for a short time, then falls down again. His mental state isn't much higher than a parrot from all the drugs. Because of this, he steals, lies, and has no concept of decency. His dad and mother have cried themselves to sleep many nights. They have also been in the situation where they almost had to put a bullet into their son when he was "high". What you are looking at is no longer a man. Think of a demon from hell, something just using the body of your uncle. Sorry, but that is how I see it. Once the drugs become their life, they have sold their soul into hell! I know the decison to use a gun to protect family against family is a terrible decison. Perhaps it begins to give you an idea of our Civil War (1860-1865) when father fought son, brother fought brother...I can only tell you to pray that something gets done, and that you are not put into the position of having to deal with it...one thing, don't let him in your home, your car, or your life!

September 1, 2005, 05:57 PM	#13
Mannlicher Senior Member Join Date: July 8, 2001 Location: North Central Florida & Miami Posts: 3,209	cut him off, and cut him out. I would flat out tell him that he is NOT welcome, and should NOT come around. Been there, done that. It's not pretty. __________________ Nemo Me Impune Lacesset "The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they're ignorant; it's just that they know so much that isn't so.".........Ronald Reagan

September 1, 2005, 06:58 PM	#14
coolridelude Senior Member Join Date: February 26, 2005 Location: TX Posts: 411	that is a tough decsion. if he was on drugs when he tried to rob the house i would tell him to leave. now if he came towards me or my family he will be put down. druggs don't have any remorse they just want to get a fix. he will not see you as family only as another victum. so your choice is easy. if he goes to harm you or your family shoot. you can only help someone so much. you have to think about your family. not his. i may sound cold hearted but. i ahve pulled a gun on my uncle he was an alcoholic. my uncle had pushed my grandfather(his father) and my grandmother for money. i came home from school and they were on the floor. i ran to my room got my .410 and said " get out of here now or i will blow your stinking head off" i will not put up with drug addicts or boozers. if someone even family was going to hurt my loved ones. i will protect them at any cost.

September 1, 2005, 07:32 PM	#15
huntatnight Member Join Date: August 25, 2005 Location: Pa. Posts: 49	As a retired LEO and trained hostage negotiator, I will give you a few words of respectful advice: Be respectful to him and do not ever talk to him in a condescending way, always in a soft voice and remain calm,... if he is agitated he will have to calm down to hear what you are saying, However, be FIRM Let him know you will help him,... moral support only if he tries to clean up Do not give him money because you don't want it to become a habit, if you do he will see you as an easy mark and show up more often, maybe with "friends" Keep your distance at all times if you can, if inside, keep a piece of furniture between you and he, if on the street avoid him if you can...... Watch your back, if you sense ANY trouble make every attempt with whatever excuse you need to get away Call the police for every serious incident with him, and file a report. This will go a long way in regard to proving he is a danger to you and family....... If a last resort, protect yourself and make damn sure it is justified...... __________________ I took anger management classes, now I can only wax people from 9 to 5!!

September 1, 2005, 08:53 PM	#16
tshadow6 Senior Member Join Date: June 26, 2005 Posts: 619	dopers Most burglaries occur during the day, because honest people work. I would install good locks, a safe and not let Uncle in the house if possible. Killing someone you know makes the police look for motive.

September 1, 2005, 10:33 PM	#17
Lawyer Daggit Senior Member Join Date: December 5, 2004 Posts: 1,181	I agree with most already written- most addicts will lie, cheat, steal and sell their own grandmother for their next fix. Don't let him in the house and only shoot to protect life- not property. I would suggest an ultimatum that you have nothing to do with him unless he completes a three month residential program and stays clean.