Social Awareness vs Condition White

Gopher · December 7, 2000, 01:14 AM

How do I awaken my wife to the realities of life. She seems to go through life in condition white. She gets mad at me when I sit on a certain side of a table in a resturant, or dont roll the window down to give a dollar to the "homeless" man on the corner, or "bow up" at the gang of "kids" standing in front of the store. By this I dont mean assuming an aggresive demeanor but just being aware of my surroundings.

She is in the middle of her first semester of a Masters in Social Work. She has a BS in Socal Work/Counseling and looks at me as a Redneck paranoid homophobe. She has always worked for Mom And Pop businesses and really has no experience in Corporate America. She really has lead a sheltered life in more ways than one. I love her dearly but would like to open her eyes to some "truths" before she leaves the world of academia. Any suggestions on how to awaken my sleeping bride?

RHC · December 7, 2000, 11:20 AM

Save your breath. Her first week as a social worker will accomplish everything you have in mind.

Jay Baker · December 7, 2000, 02:04 PM

I imagine RHC is correct. Your wife will have to "see the elephant," before she understands that Life's Realities, are very rarely compatible with Social Ideals.

Some time ago, a young woman who was a friend of mine, went through a "reality wakeup" in virtually the same situation. She was very liberal, going through the Master's program in Social(istic) Sciences at USC, then got her doctorate in same field. She was very anti-gun, very ensconced in believing in the "inherent goodness" that lies underneath the surface of all criminals, blah blah.

After she got her doctorate, she began working in one of the social institutions in San Jose, working with the junenile "offenders." She just knew she could help them. But then, one day, a fifteen year old "client", broke into her apartment while she was taking a shower. He grabbed her by the hair, jerked her out of the shower and held a large knife to her throat, preparing to rape her.

Someone had heard her scream, and two men came running in and wrestled the "client" to the floor, befoe he raped her (and probably would have cut her throat ear-to-ear).

Directly afterward, she bought a Mdl. 60 S&W, and a Mdl. 66 .357. She also started going with a young lawyer working in the D.A's. office, who was a gun owner and IPSC shooter. She learned to shoot, well. She also started carrying, illegally, but she didn;t care. The "client" who had attacked her was slapped on the wrist.

Previously, there was a thread here about "carrying a piece" in the shower. Some made fun of those who said they had a gun in, or near the shower. I didn't give this example as it didn't matter to those who pooo-poooed the choice.

I assure you that to this day, that woman who is still a friend of mine, places her Mdl. 60, IN the shower, on a platform placed there for it, under a wash cloth. Although she has not needed it in the shower, she has used her revolver to stop another attack on her, by another "client".

Her entire perspective on guns and self defense and "saving" the poor little criminals, has changed.

I hope your wife does not have to "see the elephant" in this manner, but if she does, I hope she is not injured.

FWIW. J.B.

GunFool · December 8, 2000, 10:29 AM

I wouldn't be surprised to find that many of us have the same sort of situation with our friends or loved ones. My fiancee, for example, comes from a nice upper crust suburb where guns are absolutely unheard of except on cops or in the nearby city where they are -only- used in crimes. Now I came from Hicksville (more or less) where guns were much more commonplace. She thinks my interest in guns (either as a hobby or for personal defense) is barbaric. She is especially hateful of handguns. We've gotten to the point where she somewhat accepts the idea that shooting is my hobby and guns are just a necessary evil that goes along with that, but she won't have anything to do with them. Now we live in a normally 'low crime' area that just happens to be situated right in between two growing urban centers. So the crime is coming. She works in a job where she handles occassionally large amounts of money and where the doors are open to midnight. She is often in the store until 1 or 2 AM with only one other person helping out. I simply cannot convince her that she is at risk of getting robbed or assaulted. I finally got her into the habit of carrying a folding knife, which she loves for its utility, but can't imagine using for self defense (god, I couldn't imagine actually 'cutting' someone!). These sorts of crimes are happening more often in our area but it always seems that no one takes precautions until after they've been a victim.

Must be the whole 'It cant happen to me' syndrome.

Glamdring · December 9, 2000, 09:39 AM

Gopher: A couple of ideas for your SO. Since she is in social work should be easy for her to do some work at a women's shelter. I would think she could probably even get credit for it. Do some case studies of rape victums and rapist [read Goblins].

GunFool: Does your SO not believe that robberies happen or that they couldn't happen "here"? Back when I was still in middle management I had some employees that wouldn't stay and watch the cash drawer, previous manager had passed on many bad habits, no matter what I said. So finally I got poed enough to just take the whole cash drawer out, since they weren't watching it, and put it in the safe then came back and pretended to check to see if we need more change. They got rather worried when I said "where the heck is the cash?!?!" You might possibly be able to do something similar. Or you could have her read some of the posts here on TFL [like Tamera's on General].

You might also try getting her place of employment to get local LEC to do security check of the building and to make recommendations for improvement.

WESHOOT2 · December 10, 2000, 05:16 PM

Tell the truth: the only way your loving wife will get her mind right is AFTER the SHTF.

Hopefully she'll survive. And then carry a S&W M38...

--------------------------

"all my guns are carry guns"

December 7, 2000, 01:14 AM	#1
Gopher Senior Member Join Date: December 3, 1999 Location: Texas USA Posts: 367	How do I awaken my wife to the realities of life. She seems to go through life in condition white. She gets mad at me when I sit on a certain side of a table in a resturant, or dont roll the window down to give a dollar to the "homeless" man on the corner, or "bow up" at the gang of "kids" standing in front of the store. By this I dont mean assuming an aggresive demeanor but just being aware of my surroundings. She is in the middle of her first semester of a Masters in Social Work. She has a BS in Socal Work/Counseling and looks at me as a Redneck paranoid homophobe. She has always worked for Mom And Pop businesses and really has no experience in Corporate America. She really has lead a sheltered life in more ways than one. I love her dearly but would like to open her eyes to some "truths" before she leaves the world of academia. Any suggestions on how to awaken my sleeping bride?

December 7, 2000, 11:20 AM	#2
RHC Senior Member Join Date: March 30, 2000 Posts: 678	Save your breath. Her first week as a social worker will accomplish everything you have in mind.

December 7, 2000, 02:04 PM	#3
Jay Baker Senior Member Join Date: March 26, 2000 Location: S.W. Idaho Posts: 1,294	I imagine RHC is correct. Your wife will have to "see the elephant," before she understands that Life's Realities, are very rarely compatible with Social Ideals. Some time ago, a young woman who was a friend of mine, went through a "reality wakeup" in virtually the same situation. She was very liberal, going through the Master's program in Social(istic) Sciences at USC, then got her doctorate in same field. She was very anti-gun, very ensconced in believing in the "inherent goodness" that lies underneath the surface of all criminals, blah blah. After she got her doctorate, she began working in one of the social institutions in San Jose, working with the junenile "offenders." She just knew she could help them. But then, one day, a fifteen year old "client", broke into her apartment while she was taking a shower. He grabbed her by the hair, jerked her out of the shower and held a large knife to her throat, preparing to rape her. Someone had heard her scream, and two men came running in and wrestled the "client" to the floor, befoe he raped her (and probably would have cut her throat ear-to-ear). Directly afterward, she bought a Mdl. 60 S&W, and a Mdl. 66 .357. She also started going with a young lawyer working in the D.A's. office, who was a gun owner and IPSC shooter. She learned to shoot, well. She also started carrying, illegally, but she didn;t care. The "client" who had attacked her was slapped on the wrist. Previously, there was a thread here about "carrying a piece" in the shower. Some made fun of those who said they had a gun in, or near the shower. I didn't give this example as it didn't matter to those who pooo-poooed the choice. I assure you that to this day, that woman who is still a friend of mine, places her Mdl. 60, IN the shower, on a platform placed there for it, under a wash cloth. Although she has not needed it in the shower, she has used her revolver to stop another attack on her, by another "client". Her entire perspective on guns and self defense and "saving" the poor little criminals, has changed. I hope your wife does not have to "see the elephant" in this manner, but if she does, I hope she is not injured. FWIW. J.B.

December 8, 2000, 10:29 AM	#4
GunFool Senior Member Join Date: December 7, 2000 Posts: 157	I wouldn't be surprised to find that many of us have the same sort of situation with our friends or loved ones. My fiancee, for example, comes from a nice upper crust suburb where guns are absolutely unheard of except on cops or in the nearby city where they are -only- used in crimes. Now I came from Hicksville (more or less) where guns were much more commonplace. She thinks my interest in guns (either as a hobby or for personal defense) is barbaric. She is especially hateful of handguns. We've gotten to the point where she somewhat accepts the idea that shooting is my hobby and guns are just a necessary evil that goes along with that, but she won't have anything to do with them. Now we live in a normally 'low crime' area that just happens to be situated right in between two growing urban centers. So the crime is coming. She works in a job where she handles occassionally large amounts of money and where the doors are open to midnight. She is often in the store until 1 or 2 AM with only one other person helping out. I simply cannot convince her that she is at risk of getting robbed or assaulted. I finally got her into the habit of carrying a folding knife, which she loves for its utility, but can't imagine using for self defense (god, I couldn't imagine actually 'cutting' someone!). These sorts of crimes are happening more often in our area but it always seems that no one takes precautions until after they've been a victim. Must be the whole 'It cant happen to me' syndrome.

December 9, 2000, 09:39 AM	#5
Glamdring Senior Member Join Date: April 23, 2000 Location: MN Posts: 1,388	Gopher: A couple of ideas for your SO. Since she is in social work should be easy for her to do some work at a women's shelter. I would think she could probably even get credit for it. Do some case studies of rape victums and rapist [read Goblins]. GunFool: Does your SO not believe that robberies happen or that they couldn't happen "here"? Back when I was still in middle management I had some employees that wouldn't stay and watch the cash drawer, previous manager had passed on many bad habits, no matter what I said. So finally I got poed enough to just take the whole cash drawer out, since they weren't watching it, and put it in the safe then came back and pretended to check to see if we need more change. They got rather worried when I said "where the heck is the cash?!?!" You might possibly be able to do something similar. Or you could have her read some of the posts here on TFL [like Tamera's on General]. You might also try getting her place of employment to get local LEC to do security check of the building and to make recommendations for improvement.

December 10, 2000, 05:16 PM	#6
WESHOOT2 Senior Member Join Date: February 20, 1999 Location: home on the range; Vermont (Caspian country) Posts: 14,324	Tell the truth: the only way your loving wife will get her mind right is AFTER the SHTF. Hopefully she'll survive. And then carry a S&W M38... -------------------------- "all my guns are carry guns"