Does CC lead to more restraint?

[CalmerThanYou]

Here is a scenario that really made me think.

Last evening my wife and I and another couple went out to dinner.
I recently treated myself to a new rather expensive car, after driving a very conservative used car during my girls college years, using the extra $ to help them with expenses and tuition.

I parked my new car is a safe spot further from the supper club entry to avoid my first "door ding" To the passenger side was no parking stripes and to the driver side was an open spot. I parked to the farthest right portion of my spot at a slight angle, being aware to take up only the one spot, perhaps being right on the line of the right side that is marked as not being a parking space.
When we came out there was a large lifted pick-up that was 2-3 inches into my marked parking space, perhaps 2" from my driver side door. I had difficulty getting in and had to pull forward and back several times to miss the right rear end of the truck to get out.

I examined my left side and there was no damage. I did however have the strong urge to confront the owner, who was I am sure one of four people fishing on a small public dock 50 feet away. His window was open with his wallet on the center console.

I have several urges to stick his tires or toss his wallet into the river, or go to the dock and inquire, who owns the white truck and ask him to move it.

I did none of the above and just blew it off. I guess part of me possibly the smart part, though no good could come of any of my thoughts. Pus two of my thoughts would have had ME committing a crime, where his only crime was being an idiot. Rant over, but I think being armed actually made me re-think and choose to make the situation non-confrontational. Or perhaps it is me getting older and a bit more docile.

[shootbrownelk]

Sounds to me like it's a good combination of both. Always avoid a confrontation where tempers may flare. The other guy may be armed as well. You did the only rational thing.

[JoeSixpack]

I think it does.

Keep this in mind.

When you are carrying a gun, EVERY encounter is a deadly one.
That's because YOU are armed.

I try to keep that in the back of my mind.. but that does not mean I won't blow my top verbally sometimes.
Just do the best you can to remain chill.

[cc-hangfire]

YES. Absolutely. If you initiate a confrontation, you forfeit your ability to claim self defense if it turns violent.

Not everyone should carry a firearm (although every non-felon, etc has that right). Those with anger management issues will have difficulty making good decisions with their firearm.

[5whiskey]

I would say that it does in general lead to more restraint for the good law-abiding citizen. You do not want to start a confrontation over silliness.

With that being said, when I feel it necessary to confront people to let them know I will not tolerate criminal behavior I try to have a concealed firearm. Many will tell you "you shouldn't get involved" or just "be a good witness." I feel just the opposite. If every criminal felt that the world were watching them, they would hide even further in the shadows and not feel bold enough to commit their crimes in public. I have confronted people driving through my neighborhood and throwing beer cans out the window on Halloween when there are kids walking everywhere (handed him his beer can when he stopped at the stop sign and told him he dropped something, along with drive slowly out of my neighborhood or I will testify at his DWI trial), smoking dope at the dead end of the street that I live on, and snoping around a neighbors house when I knew neighbor wasn't at home (to be fair that was a realtor who was legit, and very pleasant in the end).

It is not the firearm that emboldens me. I would do, and have done, this without a firearm on me. A firearm is insurance in case everything goes South when I do.

I have several urges to stick his tires or toss his wallet into the river, or go to the dock and inquire, who owns the white truck and ask him to move it.

I would not have the urge to do 2 of the 3 things regardless of whether I was armed or not. Asking him to move? If it's done politely I don't see any issue with that whether you are armed or not. But I understand if you're annoyed (and I would be too) you may not want to bring it up out of concern of coming across the wrong way and starting a confrontation. I probably would have handled this situation in the same manner you did. Not worth even the possibility of a confrontation, so just blow it off. But if you chose to politely ask them to move it, I would not see an issue with it.

YES. Absolutely. If you initiate a confrontation, you forfeit your ability to claim self defense if it turns violent.

This is not true at all in most states. Yes, you CAN NOT call someone ugly and start a drunken fist fight, and later claim self defense. You CAN tell a thief to not steal, or a pervert to stop peeping, or even someone bullying a friend to leave them alone. Do it with a clear head and try not to start a fight.

[SIGSHR]

IMHO it leads to greater self confidence and calmness because you are prepared to deal with a crisis.

[Obambulate]

You were correct to resist those urges. You did the only reasonable thing, which was to carefully move your car. If the other guy moves his truck he might scrape your new car and then it's even a bigger hassle.

[TailGator]

The other options would have been counterproductive, but if you can politely and calmly go to the guy and say, "Pardon me, but is that white truck yours? Yeah? Would you mind moving it so I can get out? Heck, I'll hold your fishing rod if you want." If someone objects to a polite, respectful, and reasonable request, their response isn't on you.

[rickyrick]

I do have more restraint. I avoid confrontation, stay out of bars and so on.

I've never had the urge to slash tires, steal or render a vehicle unsafe by letting the air out.

[Glenn E. Meyer]

I have deleted a suggestion to vandalize the annoying car. That is illegal and such posts are just plain silly. I suggest that TFL is not the place for such posturing and can lead to penalty points.

[CalmerThanYou]

In retrospect I feel my first two "thoughts" were unreasonable, but I admit I am a work in progress when it comes to maturation of temper.
The comments on more restraint seem on point. I do feel I had a mindset change when I started CC that is proving to be positive in many ways including situational awareness and looking past the moment into what could happen if one were to or was not to act.

[bassJAM1]

I think the best solution is to carry a few of these in your car and place them under the windshield wipers of idiots.

[Andy Blozinski]

I love the turtle parking flyer!

[Metal god]

Let me tell you a story that happened to me that changed my way of thinking when it comes to parked cars as a whole . This likely did not happen to you this way but maybe it could have .

I was in a parking structure looking for a place to park . In this case it was a hospital and it was full . I finely found a spot but it was small and the 3 cars on the left were parked more and more crooked to the point of the last one was over the line of the spot I was forced to park in no others available . I squeezed in and had to get out on the passenger side which was tight . As I'm walking away I'm thinking what a bunch a jerks parking like that .

3hrs later I get to my car and guess what I see ? Yep my car and "ONLY" my car parked crooked and crossed into the stall on the right . So now all's it looks like is I parked like jerk that does not care about anyone but him self .

From that day forward I've never even gave a crooked car or a car parked close to mine a second thought . I just figure out the best way to get in or out and go on with my day . You just don't know what the reasons are a car may have been parked the way it was . It may not be the drivers fault at all . It may be the last option they were left with .

As to CC giving way to more restraint . For me yes . Not only actually CC but the first time I took a CC class it changed how I thought about interacting with everyone most notably someone looking for a fight or me confronting someone and that escalating into a fight . I've always been a straight forward kind of guy . If you do something dumb that involved me , stranger or not I was likely to look you in the eye and say "that was stupid" . Not so much anymore because of that class and CCW . So yes my CCW permit has given me more restraint not that I was going around fighting but it's less likely then ever before .

[O4L]

As I get older I've learned to use a little more restraint in confronting people for being stupid.

First of all it would be a full time job, and also because I try to be more careful about such things because I carry.

[fshfindr]

I forget who said it, (I'd like to take credit for it), "Carrying a gun fosters good manners".

[CalmerThanYou]

Metal God, The person had 10 empty spots within 15 Yards. Not sure why he chose to be such a jerk, but that is why I was agitated.
Sounds like most do develop more restraint and prudent behavior with the lessons taught for and during CC. Kind of what I expected to find.

[Concerned Citizen]

Carrying a concealed firearm can be both a blessing and a curse. A curse because it will cause you to rethink your choices and not confront or say something to someone who would otherwise deserve being confronted or having something said to.

The driver of the truck is obviously a careless moron otherwise he never would've left his wallet out in the open and the windows rolled down. He probably has a habit of doing stupid things like that and didn't even realize what he had done to you.

Carrying a firearm is an awesome responsibility and we must choose our battles very carefully. For what it's worth, you can take solace in the fact that most of the rest of the world does not have the rights that you enjoy. Don't lose them over something trivial.

[curt.45]

yes, lord yes.

[Concerned Citizen]

I remember being attacked on another forum some years ago for daring to mention that getting my CCW permit and carrying a concealed firearm had helped make me into a better, more responsible person.

For the record, I never admitted to doing anything specifically wrong before I was carrying, I just mentioned that carrying had helped make me into a wiser, more careful and responsible person, kind of like the party animal kid who has suddenly had his first baby and decides to grow up and become an adult.

If, for example, carrying a gun would cause me to think twice about drinking, getting into arguments or fights with people or doing something stupid or taking risks that I may have been willing to do before but would no longer do since I was now carrying, then that could only be a positive thing, right?

You would think that most people would applaud that, but these guys got all over my case about it. They said that if I had issues and behavioral problems before I was carrying then I would still have them afterwards, that carrying a gun would make no difference and that I was only using it as a crutch to make me feel "more like a man". In others words, once a jerk always a jerk.

I suppose that can be true in some cases, some people can become even bigger jerks then they were before they started carrying but that wasn't the case for me. I think some things in life can change people for the better. That should be something to celebrate and show to the anti-gunners that carrying concealed can make for more responsible, less dangerous persons. Statistics would seem to prove me right on that.

[rickyrick]

Concerned Citizen,
I would hope that everyone is more responsible while carrying a gun. Heck, I put mine in the safe if I want to have an "irresponsible" weekend. I wouldn't take a gun to a bar or nightclub even if allowed and even if I'm not drinking there. I rarely drink anyway, but before I do the gun gets put away ahead of time.
Responsibility goes hand in hand with carrying. A friend lost his wife because of an irresponsible policeman attending a party, his backup revolver fell out of his shorts pocket and a kid found it.

[K_Mac]

Yes. There is a greater responsilty to maintain self-control when carrying a gun. Exchanging pleasantries with an idiot in the Walmart parking lot that could lead to escalation takes on a higher level of exposure when armed. Life is short, and you can't fix stupid.

[TXAZ]

Or fshfndr, "An armed society is a polite society."
Uber and Lyft are also good solutions to that problem.

[GarandTd]

I'd like to think it's my conscious that keeps me in check more than the firearm I have access to. I think it's a good thing that you think things through while possessing a firearm.

Getting my CC permit was affirmation that I'm a law abiding citizen recognized as so by the Sheriff's Dept.
I figure they endorsed it/me, I better live up to that. I got into my fair share of trouble in my younger days, so finding that peace with the law was a big thing for me.

I applaud your honesty about some of the things that crossed your mind. I think things like that all the time. That's how many of us process our frustrations. I would never act on those thoughts. They're more of a way to vent. I have alot of time to self reflect during my work day and have recently come to the conclusion that I am an idealist in a less than ideal world. I can't control others, but I can rise above the little things that tick me off and try to be that better person that everyone can benefit from. If only everyone gave that little extra effort.

I'm not trying to sound righteous. I'm a work in progress.

[SauerGrapes]

As I get older I've learned to use a little more restraint in confronting people for being stupid.

I agree. I don't even confront ''stupid'' people anymore. It would take up my whole day.