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Old July 20, 2001, 11:15 PM   #1
lonegunman
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Those Damned Dirty Apes

I saw a trailer for the new Planet of the Apes movie, and it begs the question:

What handgun is best against those damned dirty apes?

Lets make it a little more interesting though, with this scenario:

You are a man alone, in a world of apes out to get you. They are lightly armored, looks like just heavy leather, plus a nice thick ape-hide underneath, I guess.

You need to try to evade the apes mainly, too many of them to try to fight it out, so speed of movement is essential, but you also need weapons potent enough to get through the leather armor and hide.

If you do run into apes, it may be several at once, and likely at fairly close range, say 200 yds or less.

You can only have as much ammo as you can tote.

What rifle and handgun would you want?

By the way, do you think this is the stupidest thread ever started here?
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Old July 20, 2001, 11:20 PM   #2
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44 Magnum or 357 Magnum wheelgun with matching carbine, depending on the size of the apes.

There have been more stupid.
 
Old July 20, 2001, 11:23 PM   #3
Mal H
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"By the way, do you think this is the stupidest thread ever started here?"

Trust me, it's not even close, by a long shot.

But it is more of a General Discussion thread. I'll move it over there.
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Old July 20, 2001, 11:38 PM   #4
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Handgun- Glock 20 with hi-caps and FULL POWER 10mm ammo

Rifle- Any reliable, compact, semi-auto in .308 with 20 rd mags

I would also want the services of a good taxidermist. What a mount that would make!

Yes, I've seen dumber threads here!
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Old July 20, 2001, 11:41 PM   #5
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Glock 20 as my sidearm good pentration for that dirty ape hide and still a decent sized bullet (10mm), I guess an FAL for longgun, though if in the Jungle an MP-10 would be tempting just for lighter ammo and interchangibility with the pistol.

Lonegunmen, This reply makes no mentions of bananas or banana firing devices, enjoy it while you can some people just can't take part in a serious discussion such as this.

PS I won't call this the stupidest thread ever if you won't make fun of how I spell bananna.

Regards, Blueduck
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Old July 21, 2001, 12:04 AM   #6
OF
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I knew it had been too serious around here lately. Make it a G20. Then give me, oh let's see, an 18" FAL carbine with an Aimpoint and as many mags as I can carry and still walk straight.

This'll do for starters:
Attached Images
File Type: jpg fal_carbine.jpg (20.1 KB, 300 views)
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Old July 21, 2001, 12:13 AM   #7
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Howz bout a .45 colt, some ammo, all the primers can handle, nutcrcker loading set and a mould. Probably be able to find the makins for black powder, worked for Kirk....cast bullets if can find anything castable, if not, hardwood bullets would do a number on the snickering simians. If any bamboo around, easy to make gernades if you don't kill yourself doin the fuze on the first one. David sling very usefull too. Again, don't use David sling for launchin gernades till you know how to use the sling.

Sam
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Old July 21, 2001, 12:16 AM   #8
thumbtack
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Glock 30
and
Tommy gun
That would be more fun than a barrel of monkies
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Old July 21, 2001, 12:16 AM   #9
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On second thought........send the gal from Dark Angel along....who needs a gun!
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Old July 21, 2001, 12:28 AM   #10
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As long as we're bringing grenades and chicks, give me a phased plasma rifle in a 40 watt range while you're at it.

- Gabe
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Old July 21, 2001, 12:51 AM   #11
Q-Man
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The apes will be shooting at you with a modified M1 Carbine



I'd grap a 1911 and a AR15 or M1A and kick some mokey rear end. (Would that be spanking a monkey? )
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Old July 21, 2001, 02:42 AM   #12
Jim March
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Heh. Sidenote: isn't Charlton Heston doing a cameo in the new POTA movie? If so, I hope they showed him with a BIG ol' gun, just for the comedy value .

Anyways. Back on "topic".

Ammo quantity is a major issue here. Esp. if we assume no reloading, you're going to take every round in with you.

In that case, you want the lightest round (weight, not power level) that'll get the job done, and then build the gun collection around that!

I would nominate the 110grain full-house .357 JHP as the basic load.

Guns:

A Ruger SP101 as deep-cover backup on ankle.

One 5" barrel original variant custom shop S&W N-frame 8-shot, with a buttload of moon clips. That's your primary fighting handgun, strongside fast-draw setup.

One 2.5" barrel S&W N-Frame 8-shot custom, takes same speedloaders as primary gun above. Grips are more compact, this gun goes in a shoulder rig. It's first-string backup.

Both the 8-shooters need good Tritium sights, possibly the newest Ashley Express with the glowing bar rear Express and big dot Tritium front.

A good .357 levergun. 18 to 20" barrel, enough to get 10+ ammo capacity. That's for long-range stuff; for fast in-close I'd personally prefer a really good handgun 'cuz I can swing it faster .

Jim
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Old July 21, 2001, 07:44 AM   #13
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an M1-a and a 1911.

Don't worry about as much ammo as you can carry, after the first monkey spanking incident you'll have their guns and ammo. As long as you keep knocking off the whole bunch of them or forcing the survivors to retreat you'll have a steady supply of ammo
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Old July 21, 2001, 08:54 AM   #14
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I wouldn't want a handgun, I'd want an AR-15 carbine of some type, like an M-4. It would be more effective in keeping the hairy b******* at bay and I could carry a lot more ammo for it than something in .308. For penetration's sake I'd stick with SS-109 fodder.
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Old July 21, 2001, 08:56 AM   #15
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Oh! Easy.

HK69A1 . Just bring some bread, and you can make sandwiches.

"I'll take Willie Pete for $500!"
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Old July 21, 2001, 10:50 AM   #16
George Hill
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Oh Yeah, we have had a lot of stupid in General before - this thread isnt nearly as bad as the one I started about POKEMON!
This one isnt nearly that bad and actually requires a bit of thought.

For a Planet of the Apes excursion... Hmmm.
They are tough... Very strong, fast, smart, and wearing heavy cloths and leather armor. There are a lot of them. Fighting ranges could be from 0-300meters. No known extraction time.
This is a tough call.
For a pistol I would want a high capacity auto with a lot of horse power... I'm thinking 10MM and in this case I'ld take the full sized Glock for this. Did I really say Glock? Yup. Because SIG and HK doesnt make a 10MM. The alternative would be an HK MK23 loaded with .45 SMC.
For a rifle its easier. It would have to be fairly accurate, and 100% reliable with light and hard hitting ammo... I'm thinking an AK-74 here. Mounting an Aimpoint on top in a forward "Scout" position.

I can't wait to see this flick - I am a HUGE Tim Burton fan... Huge SciFi fan... Huge action movie fan... and even a Goth fan and this movie has all of that rolled up into a modern classic story. While I would have cast someone else is the lead... I can tolerate Mark Walburg - even though you will have to disassociate the fact he was supposed to have been an Astronaut.
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Old July 21, 2001, 12:14 PM   #17
Keith Rogan
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IDIOTS!

There are two types of apes: The super-intelligent but unarmored Chimpanzees that only go about 140 pounds, and the heavily armored but dull-witted warrior Gorilla caste that can exceed 600 pounds live weight!

This is a two gun fight my friends! I would suggest a light sub-gun for the Chimps or perhaps an AR. For the Gorilla's, nothing less than a .45/70 using heavy cast flat-nosed bullets will do.

And don't forget to shoot the horses - an ape on the ground is a lot easier to deal with since they have to use their knuckles when they run which prevents them from shooting back.
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Old July 21, 2001, 02:00 PM   #18
George Hill
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Thats an interesting point of view there Keith... and I think no one here is more experienced in dealing with 600 pound agressive animals than yourself... You might be right about the Gorillas requiring a heavier gun.

Perhaps something like this:
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Old July 21, 2001, 02:06 PM   #19
OF
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That is just a silly gun you have there, my friend.

If the apes are carrying M1's, then the longarm should fire 7.62mm. Gotta have that FAL carbine and new Aimpoint with the 7-year batteries! This pic has a Colt, but you get the idea.




- Gabe
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Old July 21, 2001, 02:11 PM   #20
George Hill
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What? You dont like a .308 out of a 6 inch barrel?
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Old July 21, 2001, 02:20 PM   #21
OF
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BLAMMO!
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Old July 21, 2001, 02:55 PM   #22
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G-31

G-31 ! VELOCITY
a .223 if you give me the option
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Old July 21, 2001, 04:20 PM   #23
George Hill
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.223 wouldnt touch a Gorilla Warrior... sure, maybe lethal, but not reliable enough of a stopper. I want something with a faster time to incapacitation... like a FAL in .308.

Or maybe a Tromex in .440 Corbon.
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Old July 21, 2001, 04:27 PM   #24
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The ergonomics on the old m-1 carbine monkey rifle aren't great but its an accurate shooter, just remeber its NOT made for shooting apes (ape shall never kill ape) Its made for shooting soft skinned humans.

Hmm good point about the Gorillas being bigger tougher, since I was going to go with the AK-74 option as well.

In ape country with no hope for parole a handgun is a last resort weapon anyway. Give me a "commander" sized colt 45 auto that I can conceal, or a ruger sp101 .357.

Your rifle is your friend. Maybe a .308 valmet or galil? Even an FAL wouldn't be bad, though heavy. Load it with 180 grain bullets. Shoot the chimps first.

Of course I have to explain that I am a HUGE fan of the apes movies. ALL of them. Ape Trivia is one of my fave things. Best cheese for your money next to that stuff that comes out of a can.

I am wholeheartedly looking forward to this film. I hope its worth the wait.
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Old July 21, 2001, 04:46 PM   #25
El Savior 9000
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interesting question. well i for one would like to have 3 different weapons, first off a Barrett M82A1 .50 BMG. very usfull for when a huge group of apes come at you over open terrain. secondly a 'krinkov' SMG in .223 or 7.62 with drum mags, good for when they get in close. ad lastly a desert eagle in .357 mag jhp, for when every thing else fails. unfourtunetly you probably couldnt carry all this at once, so you would have to have a couple of people carrying your gear for you.
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