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Old December 13, 2001, 11:59 AM   #1
E. BeauBeaux
Senior Member
Join Date: December 14, 2000
Location: MS, CSA
Posts: 377
Ho Ho Ho

Twas the Night Before Christmas

Twas the night
before Christmas, cold, dark and foreboding,
As I sat at the workbench, quite busy reloading,
The empties from autumn were polished so clear,
For primers and powder, and bullets from Speer.
And Sierra boat-tails, and Nosler´s Partitions
(My bench ain´t no place for brand name
All sat in their boxes, right next to the press,
With dies from Midway, and RCBS.
When all of a sudden there came such a jolt,
I grabbed for my Mossberg, and whipped out my
As I spilled Hodgdon's powder all over the shelf,
I scrambled for cover, just to protect myself
; From up on the rooftop, came hoofbeats and
Like the noise out of L´il Rock, from Clinton´s
I eased off the safety, to press-check my auto
With 230-hardball, I´d knock ´em all blotto.
Were these rogue federal agents, sent by Schumer
and Reno?
Or a staggering Ted Kennedy, in bad need of vino?
My question was answered with a knock, and some
It´s Santa, you moron, lemme in there, I'm
I flipped off the dead-bolt and threw the door
wide, To find St. Nick a'shivering, Rudolph by his side
He eyeballed my Thompson, with a nod of approval
"You´re all set," he said, "for dirtball removal."
But this is no raid, we´re not here to harm
Or persecute, prosecute, or even disarm
Instead, said dear Santa, he needed to borrow
My .357, 'till day after tomorrow.
It´s okay he assured me, with a hint
of frustration.
I´m enrolled in the National Rifle
He showed me his card, 'twas a Life Member rating
I´ve had this since me and the missus were
And you see, ol' buddy, I´ve gotten real
Since Hillary was elected, with a promise to
serve us
So henceforth as I´m out there, my presents
I want to assure you, I´m legally
And my gift for you this year, should give
you a hoot
I´ve told the Supreme Court to give Brady
the boot!
Now, Rudy and I must be on our way."
He said, as he climbed back on the seat of his
With the reins in his hand, and my Smith in his
He jingled the sleighbells and was off like a
With a pair of speedloaders, and ammo to spare
I knew he´d be safe, he was loaded for bear.
As he faded from view,
I could still hear him calling,
From DC, where 'PC' is already falling,
To bad guys in LA, Detroit and Atlanta:
I´m licensed to carry. Don´t be messin'
with Santa
"While you are resting, someone somewhere is training and when you meet him, you will lose."
E. BeauBeaux is offline  
Old December 13, 2001, 04:44 PM   #2
Senior Member
Join Date: March 25, 1999
Location: KS
Posts: 1,558
Excellent! I wanted to put in in our Christmas cards but the wife vetoed the idea.
"I don't mind it when stupid people say stupid things. Stupid people should be encouraged to say stupid things, that way we always know who the stupid people are." ~ Ted Nugent
Sisco is offline  
Old December 13, 2001, 07:30 PM   #3
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Join Date: August 29, 1999
Posts: 928
Send it to all of the Democrap sheep in the house and senate.
slickpuppy is offline  
Old December 13, 2001, 09:28 PM   #4
Mike Irwin
Join Date: April 13, 2000
Location: Northern Virginia
Posts: 39,187

Isn't that what Santa said when he saw the three prostitutes walking down the street?
"The gift which I am sending you is called a dog, and is in fact the most precious and valuable possession of mankind" -Theodorus Gaza

Baby Jesus cries when the fat redneck doesn't have military-grade firepower.
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Old December 13, 2001, 09:44 PM   #5
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Join Date: October 29, 1999
Location: Dewey, AZ
Posts: 12,858
Rates an A

C.R.Sam is offline  

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