The legal justification required to use lethal force in most places is:
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the B.G. has the ability, opportunity, and intent to cause death or great bodily harm
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This is NOT "IDOL" or whatever your CCW instructor said.
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The perp responds by shooting her husband and forcefully grabbing her. In fear of her life and her husbands, the woman draws her weapon and makes it clear that she will shoot the perpatrator if he moves and instructs him to lower his weapon.
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She has made a (- another -) mistake. At this point, she needs to move, draw, and make hits ASAP until he is down and incapacitated. Then get aid for her husband.
Talking to a person who ALREADY has demonstrated the ability, opportunity, and intent to kill or cause great bodily harm is a good way to get dead. In this situation, you have in effect TOLD THE BG WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO DO, which allows him to react to it.
She needs to worry about living for the next 60 seconds, not avoiding a lawsuit or possible criminal charges for the illegal CCW.
-z