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Hologon/Jon:
When I (6'1", 170lbs.) chose a shotgun for my home defense, I had to choose a gun that my little wife (5'4", 110lbs.) could also use competently.
It is true that a light 20 gauge shotgun kicks about the same as a heavy 12 gauge shotgun. However, heavy 12 gauge shotguns like the Rem 870 (over 7lbs. I think) was too heavy for my wife to wield easily.
So, I chose a Remington 870 in 20 gauge with the stock cut to 13" length of pull and barrel cut to 18 1/2". You can also buy a Remington 870 Youth (20 gauge, 13" length of pull and 21" barrel). Or you can buy a Winchester 1300 Defender in 20 gauge (very light, 8-shots and 18" barrel).
These are light and quick handling guns that pack more than enough wallop for the typical "gun fighting" distance at home.
You may also consider an autoloader like the Remington 1100 LT Youth (same as 870 Youth except the autoloading feature). That is one light and light-shooting (meaning low recoil) shotgun.
Hope that helps.
Skorzeny
PS. Hate to say this, but two years of TKD still makes you a wuss. A BJJ student of three months will kill you in a few minutes.
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For to win one hundred victories in one hundred battles is not the acme of skill. To subdue the enemy without fighting is the supreme excellence. Sun Tzu
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