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Look, the best gun is the one you have ON YOU when trouble strikes. Since she is not big into guns, you have to lure her into them. Start her off with a .22 LR revolver for plinking and, if possible, find a woman who shoots to help train your wife. The NRA might be able to guide you to a woman who is one of their certified NRA firearms instructors. After she's mastered the .22 LR move her up into soft loaded .38 special target loads fired out of a .357 magnum revolver. You also want to stay away from snub nosed revolvers and use a revolver with either a 4 or 6 inch barrel to help reduce recoil. Everything that you do to enhance her knowledge in shooting is a good thing which could save her life or yours. So a decent revolver, with at least a 4 inch barrel, is better than having her try to control the recoil of a snub nosed revolver. This is why, because of recoil associated shooting problems, so many police departments used to mandate 4 inch revolvers for the rookie officers. So if you start her firearms education off as fun and easy to do with the .22 LR, add some encouragement then suggest some formal training and you should end up with a new shooter in the family. You want to work things to the point that your wife will actually have a gun on her person, even if it is a .22 LR revolver, to help protect herself. If she learns to shoot the .22 LR effectively then it will improve her chances of survival and her factor of comfort around and using firearms.
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