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with my kids rooms directly behind almost anything I could be shooting at
Then please permit me to say that your biggest problem is with your home defense plan, and NOT with your choice of loads. You and your gun need to be between any likely threat and your kids- the kids should not be downrange.
fwiw,
lpl
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Mindset - Skillset - Toolset. In that order!
Attitude and skill will get you through times of no gear, better than gear will get you through times of no attitude and no skill.
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