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Even if you surrender your weapon, what will stop him from shooting both you and your family member (his hostage)? The presence of your weapon does not put you or your family member in any greater danger, but surrendering it sure will!
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Remember though; your loved one means zippo to the BG, and the BG means zippo to you. But I bet your loved one means a hell of a lot to you. So what stops him from shooting the hostage with your gun pointed at him? Big deal to you that you kill him; that won't bring back a loved one. He may not even care whether he lives or dies.
I understand that 99% of the time not standing down is the proper tactic; however, you need to do what will best get your family out alive. If you sense he is about to pull the trigger; and you can't stop it, I would best put my weapon down and hopefully buy myself some more time.