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... For revolvers, you're stuck with a .38 in a super lightweight snub, either a 12 oz Charter, a 13.5oz LCR in .38, or some S&W alloy J frame, which will cost a lot. ...
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Don't discount the LCR 327. It offers six shots and with .327 Federal, you've got a decent range of power available. At maximum, there are some 100-grain loads that start to feel and act more like .357 magnum. On the lower end, there are 85-grain Hydro-Shoks that recoil like midweight .38 +p but produce more enjoyable results on water jugs.
If lower recoil or less report are factors, .32 H&R magnum compares reasonably well with standard-pressure .38 special. You can also use .32 Long but that starts encroaching on some of the more questionable caliber choices mentioned above.