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(1) If I am ever able to build my own house, I will do the wiring so all the lights can be remotely controlled. Until then, it's not very feasible to re-do the wiring in the house to allow me to turn on all the lights at once. My feeling is that with time and increasing computerization of houses, this'll become more ubiquitous.
(2) Children are notoriously unreliable. When they're scared, they follow their instincts/habits, not logic. They won't be able to recall and adhere to complex plans, so keep things simple and practice with them. Also make sure there's some way for you to open doors from the outside, because kids WILL lock you out at some point.
(3) Balance your security with your life. Just as a CCW that's poorly fit to a person's life will be left at home, a home security plan that is incompatible with the rest of your life will be either neglected or abandoned. So take some time to think about how your plan will affect your life, and design it around what you will be able to maintain.
(4) Practice waking up and doing your routine. Not too hard to rig a device to set off a motion alarm or something like that, but even something as simple as setting a normal alarm clock for sometime in the night so you can get an idea of how YOU wake and react.
(5) Musings (I haven't thought these through and would appreciate comments). A digital camera could be used to scope out a room before entering or exposing yourself... just a high-tech periscope basically. Intercoms or radios in places of refuge (ie each bedroom's closet if they have decent doors) could help reassure the entire family that everyone's ok.
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