Caliber:
22/25/32 - its all you have, or are physically limited (can't tolerate more recoil), otherwise do better.
380 - its all you have. or are physically limited, couple HP bullet offerings penetrate at least 12'' and consistently expand - pick one of those. 380 FMJ can be over penetrative, fact not feels.
9mm/357Sig/40/45 - one of these with a good HP is preferred. 45 with FMJ can be overpenetrative (fact) so 45 FMJ doesn't get a pass unless you run out of HP.
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Strive to carry the handgun you would want anywhere, everywhere; forget that good area bullcrap.
"Wouldn't want to / Nobody volunteer to" get shot by _____ is not indicative of quickly incapacitating.
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