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To elaborate on the idea of grip size,
An additional indicator I found is if when you establish a firing grip with the bore aligned with the long bones of the hand, the pistol does not feel as if it will slip and fall out of your hand should you relax the muscles in your hand. A grip too large depends on muscular strength to hold on with compression forces rather than resting on the bones. This is more apparent with a 1 hand grip.
Also, it pays to remember that to be used practically for self-defense it would be best if the grip size allows for proficiency with 1 hand. MLeake provided a scenario where a small handed shooter (or a gun with a grip stock too large) soon develops a firing grip dependent on 2 hands for effective control. The shooter's strategy becomes more and more to wedge the gun between both hands. I can control a baseball with one hand. But a large exercise ball would take 2 arms (those are actually uncontrollable, don't attempt). I think I've heard an enthusiastic father say: my 12 year old daughter can shoot a Glock 21 and you're complaining about a wide grip!?! - yes but is it optimal for her? Nope.
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