haliwa,
Want the advice of a 5'4" woman with small(ish) hands? I can give it to you, cause that's what I am.
When I was first getting started shooting more than a decade ago, we were at a family reunion when my over-talkative husband told all his relatives that I enjoyed shooting. Fifteen minutes later, all the women were in the kitchen saying nasty things about me (I got a blow by blow later from a shirttail relative too young to know better ... heh!) while the men were gathered around me happily chattering away.
To a man, these guys wanted to tell me:
- How much their wives/girlfriends enjoyed shooting,
- What guns their wives/girlfriends preferred, and
- How happy their wives/girlfriends would be to learn that I enjoyed shooting too.
Since -- as I found out later -- those were the same wives and girlfriends that had quickly headed into the kitchen to say nasty things about women who enjoy firearms, it seems reasonable to believe that there may have been a slight amount of either exaggeration or denial going on among the men.
Of course, things have changed, socially speaking. Lots more women do enjoy shooting these days. But because of that early and somewhat traumatic experience, I'm still a little skeptical when a man tells me how much his wife/girlfriend enjoys shooting, and what she likes to shoot. Call it a gut response, but I figure, if she enjoyed it that much, she'd be here among us telling us about her gun for herself. Since she's not, she's probably in the kitchen, rolling her eyes -- even though she might humor the man she loves from time to time, she does not truly love the gun he got her. Just my own personal little insecurities speaking, I'm sure.
Meanwhile? My advice is to get her into a women-only class where she can compare notes about guns directly with other women.
If she wants the advice of other women about how to choose, use, and carry guns, that's where she's going to find them.
She could also take a trip to a gun store that rents guns and try a few that way. However, let
her be in the driver's seat for that trip. Let her narrow down her own choices. Don't do it for her in advance, or she won't get the full benefit of making her own selection. If she doesn't have some ownership of the process, she probably won't feel much ownership in the gun either.
If she isn't interested in getting involved with the process of choosing her own gun, *shrug.* Her life. If that's the case, just buy whatever you want to buy that you will enjoy shooting when she doesn't. No sense throwing a lot of effort into choosing a gun for a woman who doesn't care what she ends up with anyway.
Oh, me? I've happily carried a Glock 26 (9mm) for the past 14 years, though I had a brief flirtation with the G19. However, if I were starting out today, I would probably go with an M&Pc in 9mm, with a side of M&P .22 for fun plinking. The interchangeable backstraps on the 9mm make a big difference for smaller hands. But I have so many years of shooting the G26 that it would take a serious effort to change now; my hands are Glock shaped from all the shooting I've done.
pax