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So my point is, a bullet hurts no matter the caliber, and when people get caught up on calibers and forget that even a .22 to the chest center mass can kill, then you might be developing a false sense of confidence that your caliber big iron will absolutely drop someone when you pull the trigger
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I like your post and agree with most of it, but I don't think anybody believes that a .22 to the chest can't kill, and no one I know chooses a SD weapon just because, under the right circumstances, it MAY do so.
If Bubba dies a day later, one hour, or one minute after he's shot me, after I shot him first, then that's little consolation. I'm not concerned so much with whether he dies---more so that he's stopped from hurting me.
Choosing a caliber/bullet combination that has been shown to work consistently well on the street doesn't give me a false sense of confidence, since, as you mentioned, nothing is a sure thing. And the best weapon/ammo doesn't give me a false sense of confidence. Just lot more.
Yes, I have to do my part--we all do. There are no Talismans.