Certain pranksters never understand people's reactions to their stunts. But we should make the punishment fit their crimes too.
The machete guy... if he comes out of that elevator after me, then he becomes a JHP test subject.
For the witty guy in the mask (which was a stupid idea, but no relatively safe down under now) Bastinado is about right. For the
wittier ones, we might grant keelhauling as adequate punishment.