Others have suggested that a 12 gauge CAN be made to be less harsh in terms of recoil for smaller folks (including many women). This is true. However, the main problem that my wife had with a 12 was not so much recoil, but weight.
Her shotgun is a Remington 870 in 20 gauge with the barrel cut to 18 1/4 inches and the length of pull reduced by about 1 1/2 inches.
The gun is light, handy and low recoiling. She likes it. So do I, actually. It's really easy to point that thing around and shuck off 5 shells quickly and accurately (though the length of pull is too short for my 6'1" frame).
Skorzeny
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For to win one hundred victories in one hundred battles is not the acme of skill. To subdue the enemy without fighting is the supreme excellence. Sun Tzu
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