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.380: A bad choice for you. These guns are generally too small and light, and may kick a lot.
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In post #11, I gave a link to a Beretta Model 86 that solves that.... generally, you are throwing the baby out with the bathwater.
The biggest problem I have with the .380 is the increased cost over 9mm ..... you are getting less and paying more ..... in some cases, 5-6 dollars more/box, due to the economy of scale w/ the 9mm.