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My wife is a "little old gray haired lady", just over 68 years old. Like me, she has arthritis and little hand strtength.
However, her "purse gun" is a SIG-Sauer P226 in 9MM. She handles it and shoots it quite well.
If your wife has trouble pulling a 10 lb trigger, in my opinion, your first course of action should be to consult a physical trainer and have her start a hand exercise program.
The problems you described negate the great majority of defensive type handgun.
Fivre to ten minuters, three or four times per day with an appropriate hand exerciser, and in a month or two., all of your currentr poistols will be useable by her.
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The soldier's pack is not so heavy a burden as the prisoner's chains. Dwight Eisenhower
It is very important what a man stands for.
But it is far more important what a man refuses to stand for.
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