[urban assault]

I have been a Bouncer the better part of 15 years and a couple a years after I started, a police officer friend gave me some pepper spray for use at work. I didnt want to use it unless I knew that it worked, so I had my father shoot me right between the eyes at close range. My glasses were off and my eyes were open. Big mistake. Obviously, the label on the canister was incorrect when it said "pepper spray", when actually it must have contained nitroglycerin, which seemed to explode all the flesh off my face. My eyes were flaming balls of mucous and all I could do is sit down rather quickly. Couldnt breathe, snot jetting from my nose, lips felt like they were being skinned off my face. All I could do is sit there and cry like a baby. Meanwhile, my father was in paroxyms of laughter, and was literally rolling on the floor because of my idiot decision. About 10 minutes later, after much agony, it was like a switch had been flipped and the pain just went away. Poof! like that, it was gone and I was fine. My father offered to try the experiment again but I declined. After that I used it for quite a few years with much success. I stopped using it when I blasted some 7 ft. ogre in my bar and the pepper spray got into the ventilation system. I had customers gagging and rubbing their eyes all night. I also went thru a very short phase where I used it on a couple bad guys in an un-approved manner. Like having other bouncers hold the ogre down and then I would shoot jets of OC into his sinuses. I did this twice and both times the bad guy went into convulsions and passed out. That was during my wild, bad days when I was hurting people on a regular basis and liking it. I dont do things like that anymore and it was a long time ago. Now I rely on verbal judo, ASP baton, stun gun, cell phone and .45 pistol.