[Leaf]

Spent 5 years as a Bouncer, in the rough Seaport of Liverpool UK. Forget all you think you know about fighting!

Fists closed by your sides/ talking tough. Pushing people, a big no-no.

Watch the one in front talking to me (normally in groups of 4 or 5) if he gives a sly glance around, the instant his eyes come off, you break his nose. Then you move on to the next one, your partner was off the mark as you hit the first one. I had two partners I worked with, we only worked on the street.
Not downstairs bouncers. Serious men.

George, 6' 4" 200lbs, worked on building sights. Strong as a horse. Larry, ex SAS Trooper, a right maniac. Once we had three down, they normally ran.

The same thing happens in a street attack, feet or fists, now I am American, and armed every day, Glock 19, OTW holster under a loose shirt. Left hand to block the knife, right hand holding pistol, point shooting, two rounds centre chest, move on to the next attacker, if only one assailant, centre face!

Call 911. The first thing call for an ambulance "I have a heart condition" I do.
My location.

"I was just attacked, I fired my pistol in self-defence" I have a white beard I am Wearing tan pants, black sneakers. Striped shirt. My pistol is holstered.

It will be when I hear the sirens.

Your post gave me a good laugh but as far as I could tell it was the God honest truth.