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Now, the only cartridge here thats "considered' safe and sane for deer hunting from a handgun is that 44-40 load,..
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Again, who is saying that? You named .357 loads that the makers recommend for deer, isn't that safe and sane?
If you are talking about some internet experts who don't think any .357 load is adequate for any deer, I happen to disagree, and so would a great many deer, if only they could...
I'm afraid your clarification didn't clarify much for me..