[Bo Hunter]

I was (still am) trying to decide on what firearm I want to buy for concealed carry. In the decision making process, I decided to visit some internet forums to get some input and help make my decision.

Consequently, I'm also in the process of trying to get into law enforcement, a pretty big change from my career as a desk jockey (mechanical engineer). So I figured I'd check out some of the other "non gun" focused forums like this one (this one meaning "Tactics and Training" as opposed to "The Semi-Auto Forum").

In reading these forums, hearing about situations "everyday" people have been in, I feel as though I've become somewhat paranoid, and I don't carry yet.

Coming from a rural upbringing, my "awareness" has always been very low, since there has never been anything to fear.

In preparation for LE, I've also started taking self defense martial arts classes.

All of this "preparation", but mostly what I read here, made me much more "paranoid", which in reality I think its simply awareness of my surroundings. For instance, I find myself looking around much more often. Instead of people watching, or day dreaming, I take mental note of peoples appearances, activities, demeanor, and clothing. When entering an establishment (resturant, quickie mart, etc), I give it a scan, look for exits, "shady characters", etc. On hot day's, I take note of those that are wearing unseasonable clothes (i.e. hiding something), especially in places like malls.

The first week or two this started happening, I kept thinking to myself, "What the hell is wrong with me? I sound like those gun toting nut-jobs on the firing line that are talking all that code yellow crap, putting motion detectors in their houses and having a cell phone and shotgun in the closet".

Then a few weeks went by. I became more comfortable with it. My awareness level became more normal, and I didn't feel as paranoid as I did when I first started being so aware. Then my attitude changed from feeling like a wack job listening to those paranoid nuts on the Firing Line, to how amazingly naive, and unaware I'd lived my life. Lucky to have not gotten in trouble or bad situations. I notice many things now.

Some examples....

The other day at the driving range (golf), a man came out to the range with a small backpack. He was dressed in clothing that would make it tough to hide a gun. "he's got a pistol in that backpack" I thought to myself. "Why on earth would he bring his backpack from the car, to the driving range to hit balls?"

While getting on to the elevator the other day at a hospital, there was a shady looking character who didn't look quite like he knew where he was going. Being the only elevator, I boarded with him, but only after putting my hand in my pocket, grasping my keys as a stabbing weapon....just in case I needed them. Is that paranoid? I think he was a "special" person that worked there, but how was I supposed to know? He looked a bit unstable to me....

I've also started to become aware of "non traditional" weapons around me. (I think this is due to the self defense classes). I look at pens, silverwear, and other odd implements a little differently now, and note where they are just in case I need them.

Personally, I think 80% of it is a game to me. Training for my LE career, watching people, trying to reading them, taking mental notes of their stature and what they are wearing. The situational awareness is the only thing I really feel is serious in my mind, and could actually save my life. I'm not going to grab a pen and use it like Jason Bourne to whoop up on some hoodlum, but its fun to pretend anyway right? I don't cross the street to avoid people (of course I'm not typically out at 11pm walking down a dark street in the bad part of town either, perhaps I would then...)....

This thread made me happy I wasn't the only one....