[c_jackson]

"Do you have a green card?" Sorry man, it's a standing joke around my house. The last time my wife and I took a flight from MS to FL, I was scrutinized closely by airport security. Jo and I laugh about it to this day. Evidently, I was screened because the information I put on my passport red-flagged with the DHS. Despite my "pink" card (retired military), I still had to take my shoes off, get hustled into the security office and got shook down. The funniest question out of these guys was, "Sir, do you have a green card?" Despite my embarrassment and obvious aggravation, I replied in true Marine Corps fashion, I couldn't help myself, " No Sahib, please do not take the explosive out of my toothpaste!" Needless to say, this did NOT go over well. What could I say, I was ****** off at the time but I had to interject a certain amount of sick humor. I mean, come on guys, a six foot four inch tall American Indian? Back in the day, you'd have to stack these guys on top of each others' shoulders. It was funny as hell to me, the officers at the airport didn't see it that way, though. When I got done with what they called a butt-chewin', I got my s**t together and rejoined my already irritated wife.
"What the hell was that all about?" she demanded.
"Aww Hell, no big thing," I responded, "I don't think airport security likes the color pink, we should drive next time."

For the record, the green card deal was just my own thing, sorry man.