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Have you considered purchasing two of the same gun, or at least "operationally identical" (for lack of a better term) guns? For example, if you like .45 and she likes 9mm, well, a .45 Glock operates the same way as a 9mm Glock. She could practice with her gun and, but the controls on your gun would be the same.
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Spats. Thank you. that is what we will almost certainly do. Most likely the same model line, perhaps one in 40 or 45, and one in 9. if the exact same model of different calibers I will probably find her a stainless so they don't get mixed up.
Still, I did bring this up with the senior staffers and the head of the city council, and actually got several telephone follow-ups from them recognizing the problem. So I am inclined to think perhaps they may (eventually) address it. It would be good to forward them some suggestions based on what other states with "strong" laws do to avoid this specific problem for people in my shoes in future.
What I sent to them last week was:
Problem:
The only options regarding qualified spouse on home defense handgun seem to be:
1) Purchase a second unneeded handgun; or
2) Have the owning spouse accompany the non-owner spouse to every training course and range session (all out of state); or forgo such training; and also forgo responsible best practice handgun safety recommendations of regular and recurring handing and dry fire practice at home
Recommendations:
a) be permitted to possess after all requirements on the same weapon by serial number (co-ownership); or
b) be permitted after meeting all requirements generically on a/any legal guns owned and DC registered by a spouse (not co-ownership)