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I think that taylorce1's advice is best, though I do still think the 223 is marginal unless the kid is a real good shooter. I do believe I'd put her behind a 223 and see how she shoots and what she says about the recoil and then I'd put her behind a 243 (with a good recoil pad). If the 243 recoil doesn't bother her, that's what I'd go with. That said, if she develops a flinch from the 243, she'll be losing a lot more deer than with a non-flinch shot from a 223 (with the right bullet).
It's good that you are being considerate of your daughter's shoulder. You are going about this correctly. Nice job, Dad.
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