I am in your same situation. My wife knows I always carry, but my three small kids don't. I cave been carrying all their lives but none of them have ever noticed. I have often carried a pm9 in a pocket, but more often a CW9 or a Glock 23 IWB at 4:00.
for long car rides, just finding the happy position is critical. All my favorite holsters us a single metal clip and can be repositioned easily, and usually I do reposition it (through my shirt) when I sit down in the car. A more steep forward tilt is usually the most comfortable for me while sitting.
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