I reckon you should go to a gun show or shop (or rental range/shop) and look around at 38 revolvers (hammerless good idea) find the one that fits your hand the best (if your shooting hand is deformed as arthritis does sometimes do) you might find a particular model that fits you perfectly, grips can be altered/built up/cut down to suit your hand, but you wont know til you try. Yes, as said earlier, then you can get the trigger slicked to again suit your hand/strength. A disabled guy I saw on once fox had hand issues from thalydamide, I believe, and he had a brace attached to the pistol that came back over his wrist, and velcro strapped around his forearm because he could either grip it firmly, or operate the trigger, not both at once. This brace allowed him to hold it as tight as he could and pull the trigger without losing control of the gun.
Where there is a will, there is a way
Then, you can get someone who reloads ammo, to make you some lite load ammo, not too weak, not too hot.... exactly what you can handle. That way, a bigger, but not too heavy gun, with custom lite(ish) loads will have much less felt recoil
Dont think .22 wont stop BG, the smaller the caliber, the more important shot placement is, thats all. Like someones tag is (I cant remember whose, sorry) A well placed shot (or 2) with a .22 is better than a miss with a 50 cal (or something along those lines)
Congratulations on not letting your disability rule your life. Good on you, I am proud of you sir
Muzza